The League Of Funny Bitches
It’s time, all you bitches.
There’s hundreds of thousands of groups for Moms, women in their twenties, moms who’ve lost loved ones, single moms, women who are getting married, women who are getting divorced, women of God, women of Anything but God, working moms, single women, women who blog, women who hate blogging, famous women, women who want to be famous, women who are happy, women who are angry, women in their 30s, 40s, 50s and beyond, women who are scared of _____, women who don’t know what the fuck they want to do with anything. Also, Dudes.
These Bitches–from all walks of life and all points of view–are FUNNY! Through pain, happiness, learning, tears, love, rejection, suffering, and joy, one thing remains constant–humor pulls people through the darkest of places.I’m funny because I’ve been in pain for so long in my life, that the only way Grace, my Ma, and I learned to break through was humor. We learned to laugh for survival. We learned to cling to what is good to battle what is bad.
I’ve seen terrible things, and lived through each of them with my pride and heart intact, and am all the funnier for it. People made me laugh, and that laughter healed me.
So now it’s my turn to share.
Who do you know that’s funny?
It doesn’t matter what they do. It matters that they are funny.
Tell me about them. Tell me what they say and what they do.
I love making people laugh.
The League of Funny Bitches is about bringing Funny Bitches together.
Let me know who they are here.
(As a rule, I absolutely do not tolerate content stealing from League members. If I see it, you’re out.)
The League of Funny Bitches:
- Hyperbole and a Half
- The Bloggess
- Mid20Something Life Crisis
- Hark, A Vagrant
- Cake Wrecks
- Regretsy
- Bridget Callahan
- Red Means Go
- Kernut The Blond
- Gloopy Doodles
- Flourish in Progress
- BugginWord
- Craftastrophe
- 2Birds1Blog
- Naked Cupcakes
- Wait in the Van
- Blogger To Be Named Later
- A Vapid Blonde
- Badder Homes and Gardens
- Steam Me Up, Kid.
- Awful Library Books
- Hard Labor is Seriously Ruining my Manicure
- Mommy Wants Vodka.
- HoodyHoo
- Awesomely Luvvie
- Looking for Beach Glass
- Trout Towers
- Mom of Wild Ones
- Katie the Blog Lady
- Yo-Mama’s Blog
- Ali Hearts Blogging
- Off the Beaten Pad
- The Barreness
- Someday, I’ll Kill You In Your Sleep
- Catalog Living
- WTF Is Up With My Love Life
- Twenty Something Waitress
- MMMM, Tasty
- Wag the Dad (Also check him out on Angie Uncovered VS. Wag The Dad)
- Emmy Suh
- EiOK
- Booshy
- Just Making Convo
- Snickerfodder
- Pretty All True
- The Honey Hunter
- I’m Just A Girl & Had It Up To Here
- Abby Has Issues
- RADventures
- The Randomist
- Oh, Rachael.
- Adios, Mofo
- Natalie Dee
- Hate You, Probably.
- A Total Waste Of Heels
- 27b/6
- Wendi Aarons
- Confessions of a Corn Fed Girl
- A Life in Translation
- I’m Not Really A Barista
- Tazer, Warrior Princess
- Jen E Sais Quoi
- Reasoning With Vampires
- Harto & Co
- GweenBrick
- John Cheese
- Lettuce Be Clear
- Alcoholics Conspicuous
- NeekerSneakers
- a softer world
- Tristachio
- Misty’s Laws
- Miss Doxie
- Surviving The World
- Atypically Relevant
- Megan Amram
- Senatorial Kittens
- Fashion It So
- The Oatmeal
- MODG
- Bitches Gotta Eat
{ 92 comments… read them below or add one }
holy shit – I am on your list and I did not even have to send you pics of my lady lumps.
That’s for later. Don’t worry. It’s going to happen.
I don’t fit into any freaking category, but I know I will have an alien abduction to blog about before I have a Mommy blog to share. Some of my posts take on a serious-ish tone, but for the most part, I’m all snark.
In other words, I’m going to embrace it and work my ass off to get even close to this list. Love it. Rock on.
I adore that you have an alien abduction to blog about. Adore. I can’t wait to see your writing–checking it out now.
Lest there be confusion, I have not been abducted as of yet. However, there is a better chance of that happening than of me having little children of my own and a Mommy Blog. ;)
Never admit to that. You just dropped your cool point by 100 by admitting to no abduction. Always stick with your story.
Noted.
Abby recently posted..FYI- Honey Badger Don’t Care
Just subscribed to your blog. Lord knows we need more funny bitches out there who know how to write. If my recent post about my Halloween costume from 1993 makes you laugh (it’s pretty bad), I hope you’ll consider me a candidate for the Funny Bitches category.
AJ recently posted..Twenty Something Pirate Waitress
AND YOU WIN. I have rarely seen a costume so spectacular.
I’m honored!!!
AJ recently posted..Twenty Something Pirate Waitress
Bam. Welcome.
I have a highly politically-incorrect blog that occasionally makes people guffaw in disbelief. Does that count?
Melissa recently posted..RADISH MURDERER and tomato seedling update
Yes it does. I love humor in all it’s forms. Welcome!
Do you have to be a woman to be in the League of Funny Bitches? ‘Cause I’m a man, but I want to join. I’ve been looking for a League of Funny Bastards, but I can’t find one. Hell, I’d settle for the League of Funny Douchebags, but there isn’t one of those, either.
Huh.
My thoughts exactly. I’m trying to find a better name for the dudes division, but so far all I have is, “Funny Bitches with Dicks,” and that somehow seems rude,
Yeah, just doesn’t have that ring to it. Have to think about this.
Shane recently posted..17 Things I Thought About Posting About While Wandering Around Hungover- But Was Too Hungover to Post About
Just the friggin blog post title you have there under that comment warrants entry into the LOFB.
Will post some pics of my hump.
Shane recently posted..It is What It Is- An Ode To Noa Gavin
If I promise to include some sort of reference to vaginas, cocks, farts, poo or punching people that deserve it in the head (or all of the aforementioned) in every post can I join the league of funny bitches too? I would be willing to sell both tits, a labia & my mum. She’s a fucking rash.
Please don’t sell your Labia on my account. You need that to cushion your twatwaffle. Just be funny!!
Despite the fact that I either currently or will at some point in the future fit into most of the groups of “women who” that you listed up there, I hope to always maintain and nourish my inner Funny Bitch. She lives on a steady diet of pills, chocolate, caffeine-free soda, and God Dammit Why Are People So Fucking Stupid All The Fucking Time. It also probably helps that some of the categories I fit in directly contradict each other.
Thank you for the ready-made reading list for next time I am annoyed at StumbleUpon for bringing me 800 stupid websites in a row. Assuming I remember it at the time. For now, I will dream of the day that I can join their ranks and hope that it wouldn’t give me panic attacks to see myself on the same list as The Bloggess and Hyperbole and a Half and wonder if I have to live up to that expectation.
Rachael recently posted..Horrible Medical Advice of the Week- Dremel Tools and You
Just keep on keepin’ on. Like Journey. On a Midnight Train. You never know where you’ll end up. (Don’t stop believin’). I’m sorry I used a song here.
So my husband writes a pretty hilarious blog (I know I am biased, of course!), and I think he could fall under the “Funny Bitches with Dicks” category. It’s pretty irreverent and crude at times, but it seems that may be right up your readers’ alleys. Enjoy!
http://www.rad-ventures.com
Thanks! He got another nomination from one of his readers, as well! Can’t wait to read it.
Well, I do write humor, I’m not a funny bitch, but I will make you slap your thigh once in awhile.
Does that count?
Of course it does! You’re on the nominations list.
OKAY. How do I apply?
Rachael recently posted..Things That Are Not Rape
A league of our own? Really?! Thanks in advance for further fueling my already pathological insomnia. I’d be honored to be included, but I suspect I’m gonna have to get to writin’.
Rebecca (justfiveminutesmore) recently posted..The awaited Dirty Whores Club post…and also: Why does my hooha hate me?
It’s true! There’s a whole goddamn group of us who just sit around and tell jokes. It’s awesome, and you’re on the nominations list!
Occasionally, one of us inadvertently propositions another, and then our interaction dissolves into a Roget’s-assisted pissing contest of humor, liberally sauteed in the most creatively-filthy language you will see on this earth.
Honestly, it’s a wonder we don’t charge you fuckers admission.
Kella recently posted..Thug Slytherin 4 Life, Boyyyyyy….
Thank you kindly! I’m just honored to be in the audience at this point. Especially after the preview provided by Kella. Sounds like total hedonistic word-debauchery. Just my style.
Rebecca (justfiveminutesmore) recently posted..The Dying Goat
MODG (Martinis or Diaper Genies) NEEDS to be on this list.
Alex recently posted..i dream of moto-x.
She’s on the nominations list now! Thanks.
ooooooooh! i know i’m kinda late to the party, but i want in!!!
found your site by following Miss Sassy Pants, from the blog A Few French Fries Short Of A Happy Meal. she’s a cutie and very funny, and i’m pretty sure you could get your entire house landscaped for free if you added her to your funny bitches list. she’s definitely worth it.
as for my spot on the list, i would be willing to offer you…um…er….let’s see, here. a brand new tube of rembrant toothpaste, a cup of bengal spice tea, and a dissection of the dead kennedys album “fresh fruit for rotting vegetables”, of which no one really gives a shit but me.
and that isn’t the best bribe to ever be offered to anyone, ever, then my name’s not henrietta collins.
which it is not.
Despite your strange, perhaps highly illegal bribe, you’re on the nominations list.
Hey Noa! I would LOVE to be part of the League of Funny Bitches!
Why? Because I’m a funny bitch, that’s why!
My blog offers it all: non-medical medical advice, how-to’s, music, and occasional vagina joke. OH! And I’m up to a whole SEVEN followers, which is more than can be counted on one hand! Which is ah-MAH-zing!
I’m a legend in my own mind, and I would LOVE to be a legend in real life.
Or at least a member of the League.
:)
Maria recently posted..Public Sh*tting 101
You’re on the nominations list, you funny bitch you.
Please, I hate this begging. I want on the list. Oh, the shame. The self-aggrandizing shame. I’ll need to go knock that shame shit down with booze and Matt Damon movies.
Thanks,
N to the -inja Mom (Is that street? Or am I a decade to late with my slang?)
Ninja Mom recently posted..When You Date Your Kids They Never Want to Go Dutch.
You’re totally already on the nominations list. Because you are also awesome.
HOLY SHIT! I MADE IT! I MADE THE LIST!
THANK YOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOU – AND YES, I AM FRICKIN’ YELLING AND I DO BELIEVE I’VE JUST SHIT MY DAMN PANTS, TOO!
I AM HONORED TO BE WITH ALL YINZ BITCHES!
WOOFUCKIN’HOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
;)
Sassy Viv recently posted..Man Slam, or Fight the Power!
Hooray!
I would be honored to join the LOFB. Admitedly, I am a blogging newbie, but I have been a professional wise-ass for most of my life. I blog because I have a husband, two sons and a large dog who conspire to drive me to the brink of my sanity on a daily basis and I cannot afford therapy, I don’t like hangovers and can’t seem to find me a sugar-daddy who will whisk me off to a tropical paradise. I don’t always intend to be funny, but when your toddler falls into the toilet and yells for help in a foreign language, asks for high-speed internet access for Christmas, and screams obscenities at you with a Spanish accent during lunch, well…sometimes funny just happens.
BlogAn recently posted..Eating Peaches With a Fork
I have officially added you to the nominations list. Keep bringing the funny!
I want in! My blog began as a half-assed attempt to record my crafting attempts but through a long a winding journey has gone from that to the sort of blog where my last post was about how Captain Picard made me spend money on ebay.
Please let me in. It’s that or therapy.
Also, I’m in the UK, so I can keep the funny going while you guys sleep.
LemurLady recently posted..Ebay. Filling my house with tat since 2002
You’re on the nominations list, yo!!
Wait! Can I nominate myself? I don’t know how funny I am, but I am a huge bitch! Just ask my ex-boyfriend, I set his house on fire.
Oh, actually, I think that was Left Eye from TLC. RIP, you sexy, little arsonist.
Anywho, I’m not exactly sure what my point is, but I think we have a budding Twitter relationship, and I will show you my tits if necessary.
Allie recently posted..Dude on Craigslist Explains How to be a Catch
You bet your ass you can nominate yourself. You’re on the nominations list!
I’m probably not funnier than your Grandma, but I’m wayyyyyy funnier than my MOM. (Even though SHE doesn’t think I’m funny.) If you consider me for your league, I promise to play nicely with others and frequently run with scissors.
xoxo
Dani recently posted..All Hail The Mighty Oprah
The running with scissors while playing nice with others is extremely important. You’re on the nominations list!
I am going to be completely egotistical and nominate myself. My blog is like a form of unmedicated bipolar disorder, veering wildly between hilarious and self-righteously serious. The excitement is in not knowing what you’re going to get from one post to the next!
No, seriously, it’s mostly funny. I have a “weiner=penis” tag, but I’ve only used it once.
http://porcelain72.blogspot.com/
I LOVE when people nominate themselves!! You’re on the nominations list!
Um…. hi Noa,
I’m pretty sure you have read this blog but just in case you somehow missed it, I would like to nominate Jen @ http://portlandiamom.blogspot.com/
She is possibly the funniest person ever.
Like, I kind of want to follow her around and smell her hair.
Love, Johi
Johi recently posted..You had me at "Compression"
Jen is amazing. She’s on the list!!
I would be honored to join the LOFB. Admitedly, I am a blogging newbie, but I have been a professional wise-ass for most of my life. I blog because I have a husband, two sons and a large dog who conspire to drive me to the brink of my sanity on a daily basis and I cannot afford therapy, I don’t like hangovers and can’t seem to find me a sugar-daddy who will whisk me off to a tropical paradise. I don’t always intend to be funny, but when your toddler falls into the toilet and yells for help in a foreign language, asks for high-speed internet access for Christmas, and screams obscenities at you with a Spanish accent during lunch, well…sometimes funny just happens.
BlogAn recently posted..Eating Peaches With a Fork
+1
I’ve got you on the nominations list!!
Check it: Suri’s Burn Book… http://surisburnbook.tumblr.com/
Funniest freaking thing I’ve ever read. Seriously.
I have no idea who writes it because there is no author credit that I can find but it is guaranteed hilarity.
Dani recently posted..Notes from the marriage bed…
Got it down. Thanks, Dani!!
Yup, I nominate myself and my painfully funny illustrated humor blarg. I’m sure everyone else agrees with me but they are too busy laughing to nominate me themselves.
http://cheeseblarg.blogspot.com
JRose recently posted..New York: Secrets Revealed 2- The Garbage Monster
I second JRose’s nomination :)
You’re quite popular–I got several nominations for you recently–you’re on the list!
Hey Noa, my friend Ann is a totally funny bitch, and I’m not just saying that because she is making me :-)
http://ann-sinclair.blogspot.com
She totally should be on the list!
I’ve got her on my nominations list! Thanks!
I would love to join the funny bitch club! In fact I could also join the hilarious tarts society! Sometimes I am so funny a bit of wee comes out!
Lady Daa Doo recently posted..MASSIVE Underwear: Your Questions Answered
I must know of this Hilarious Tarts Society! You’re on my list.
OOooh! I have a suggestion! Jake of http://www.englishmajoraway.blogspot.com/
Especially because of this post: http://www.englishmajoraway.blogspot.com/2010/07/lets-get-ready-to-ramble-illustrated.html
I actually went to high school with this guy. He’s a funny SOB…er, bitch.
Dana the Biped recently posted..Goodbye, this last year. Hello, Earth’s Last Year.
I fucking love it. Got him on my list!
Dear Noa,
My new blog is called Notes From A She-Hermit and I have to nominate myself because I don’t know anyone else. It’s a fake non-fiction blog with splatters of real fiction added. Please be my friend.
Lots and lots of love,
Dotty xxx
Dotty Headbanger recently posted..Dotty’s Profound Blinking Blog
Everything about this comment is wonderful, she-hermit. Rad as fuck. Can’t wait to read–you’re on my list!
What up bitchezz?
So, I’d like to nominate myself – I think I’m funny. I laugh at my own jokes – that’s ok, right?
I’m a mommy blogger – usually posting recipes and funny stories. Wacky Wednesday usually involves tales of injury and other such hilarity (if that is a word). My fiance refers to me as ‘Scary Mom’, probably because I am such a bitch when it comes to my child. So, I’d really like you to check me out!
http://www.insomniacmom13.blogspot.com
Hilarity is as much a word as Cuntmuppet. OWN IT.
You’re on the list!!
Hi Noa, I’ve been contemplating the whole night on whether I should comment on your blog. You see, i’m not in the least bit funny, though i’ve been training but I’m still failing (hey, it rhymes! ok, I’m being silly and rambling again…). I’m so lacking in humor that i wonder whether I lost my humor streak during the pushing on my birth… although I’m pretty sure I won’t make it into the league, but i hope i still can squeeze into your radar and follow your blog…Thanks for the invite (i hope you don’t think i’m too assertive)
RaeAnn recently posted..I just competed in the Flash Fiction Contest!
Don’t ever think that hard about my ass. Comment–we will love you as long as you don’t call me a nice person.
Besides, 90% of my Leaguers nominated themselves. If not you, who? You’re on the list!!
Please don’t call me off your list–You ARE nice! Considering the fact that I’m on the list!
I fell off my chair when I read the last sentence. Seriously.
Don’t hurt yourself now.
Ooooh…I can nominate myself? Then I shall. My husband says not to encourage me, but that’s just because he’s scared of the sheer awesomeness that is me tattle-telling on him for not agreeing to my sheer awesomeness.
funny or tragic recently posted..Actually, Some Dogs DO Go To Hell
He’s a dick for not agreeing to your sheer awesomeness. You’re on the list!
http://www.filing-jointly.com/
Filing Jointly… Finally
I think you should have Lauren in your list, she is really funny, she likes cool stuff (especially her cupcake hat) and, well, she is bribing me to suggest her to you.
Cheers!
Peggy! Shush!
*Ahem*
Darling Noa, I swear I have most definitely not promised my readers plastic squid tentacles in the mail if they nominate me for your LOFB.
Especially not these particular squid tentacles.
http://www.paper-source.com/cgi-bin/paper/item/Finger-Tentacles/3303_014/438644.html
Also, if you want to take offense at the fact that I called you Darling, go for it. Felt weird even typing that shit.
Lauren recently posted..I’m One Step Closer to Marrying Justin Timberlake. Next Step – Actually Meeting Him. There Are A Lot Of Steps.
So wow. Just want to apologize for the utter ridiculousness that is my above comment. I am going to go ahead and guess I was probably drunk whilst writing it. Or too sober maybe.
Lauren@FilingJointly recently posted..We Saw Two Whales. One Was A Mom Whale And One Was A Baby Whale. Even The Whales Are Giving You Hints Now RYAN.
I’m awesome and I just saw this. I loved the comment. I continue to. I especially love drunk commenting.
Is it still just one category? Or did you subdivide by sex?
Not ‘yes’ and ‘no’ sex. But male and female sex.
You could call it ‘Funny Bitches with Glitches’ or not.
Thanks for the follow. You rule!
Bob the Water Cat recently posted..Does Not Play Well With Others
I do not segregate, because all funny people deserve the title funny bitches! I only segregate by medium.
Love your site!!!!!!!!!!! I will always check in to lift my spirits and it helps me get my creative juices flowing.
Ashley recently posted..Finding a Small Miracle
Why thank you very much.
My friend Dom’s S.O. says some pretty awesome things in his sleep and also once accidentally Rickrolled himself. So, Dom started a blog and it is equally awesome:
http://senatorialkittens.blogspot.com/
Dana the Biped recently posted..I Have a Problem…
Thankyouthankyouthankyou. I honestly can’t wait to read this!
I hope to see my site on this list one day. It would be an honor and great acknowledgment to be listed with a league of women like this!
Ashley recently posted..I Don’t Know What to Say
Reading that fills me heart with confused joy (confused because I don’t have a soul).
Noa, I think your blog is hilarious and I your League is basically my blogroll. Self promotion me want to throw up a little, but here I am. I don’t think I am so much funny as a personal disaster with a lot of material and no shame. You tell me.
The Rollergiraffe recently posted..Lowering Holiday Expectations: A Timeline of the Plague of Easter 2012
I can’t wait to read it and weigh in for you. Personal disasters resonate well with me.
For your consideration. I’d say something about shameless self-promotion or whatever, but it would be a lie. Brides are funny, bitches. Recognize.
I used to be a Bridal Consultant. I recognize.