The Thing About Not Giving A Fuck

11/23/2014 · 1 comment

in Balancing Act, Noa Gavin

UIf there’s one thing I’m horrible about balancing, it’s other people’s emotions.

I take everything as a personal mission.

Are you sad? NOT FOR LONG.

Are you happy? SWEET.

Are you angry, but totally not at me? I AM SO SORRY.

This ridiculous habit of mine comes in handy sometimes–I can fix things. I love to encourage and to help people. I am the friendest.

And it has its downsides. Namely, I worry about how people I shouldn’t give a shit about think about me. All the time. Always. Constantly.

I rethink every decision I make for people who don’t matter to me, people who are mean to me even. I question my own emotions because of other people. I question my life because of other people.

That is really really tiring. I hate it. I hate being trapped in that space of constantly making myself subject to how other people feel about the decision I’m making for my own goddamn life. I cripple myself with anxiety over everyone but me.

In the words of my fantastic therapist: Fuck That Shit.

I reached a point of peace last week about my decisions that I have never reached before.

I don’t have to justify my decisions to others. 

As long as I’m doing what’s healthy for me, then I’m ok. I’m making the right calls, as long as the decisions are healthy. I’m doing the right thing in my life, as long as I’m doing what’s the most healthy for me at that moment.

I am doing the right thing for me. The balance lies in how healthy I am, not how healthy other people think I am. I know my story. I know my life. I know who I am.

Josh November 23, 2014 at 11:15 pm

YES. A hundred million times, this, yes. Your therapist IS fantastic!

This may be apocryphal, but I’ve decided to take it and run with it: a quote attributed to Robert Downey, Jr.:

“Smile, nod, agree, then do whatever the fuck you were gonna do anyway.”

It got me through separating myself from a good job I loathed, it’s getting me through a crap job I like and has cleaved a chunk of stress from my life and freed my mind to focus on bettering my life a day at a time!

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