New Theme For November: Balancing Act

11/02/2014

in Balancing Act, Noa Gavin

I spend approximately 90% of my time thinking, “What the hell is going on?”

I’m Kurt Russell from Big Trouble In Little China.

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This doesn’t work well for me, considering I’m all the Type A you’ve ever met. I have a three-ring binder planner that I love just so much. I can’t sit still for the lack of getting something, anything, done. I am chaos in airports because that is the only place in the world so perfectly ill-planned and timed hooooly shit what the fuck are airports even doing?

LOFB - NoaThis also doesn’t work all that well because I’m an improvisor. Every week I walk out on stage not knowing what’s about to happen and leaving my life in the hands of my team. Every week I coach others on how to do the same.

I love organization. I love bailing head-first into things that scare me. I love well-planned days. I love volunteering for projects and jobs I don’t have any clue how to do.  I love deadlines and completed work. I LOVE working under pressure, especially when that deadline looks like it’s not going to be met unless I give it all I’ve got.

I am not a well-balanced person.

These incredibly contradictory values of mine causes me a good deal of stress.

Sometimes I get down on myself about these values. I think I’m weird, abnormal, that there’s something broken inside of me.

The truth of the matter is that we are all this way. Life is constantly in flux, and so are we. We’re all weird. We’re all really abnormal and screwy and we love contradictory things. We are a mess.

We are such a fucking mess.

When we fight ourselves, when we feel like some tendency of ourselves is wrong or weird or awful, we lose our way. We lose the perfect messes that we are. We lose ourselves in fear of who we really are.

This month’s theme is balancing act. We all need to learn a little more about balancing our lives out so we can live in that flux without it upending everything we are. If we are out of balance with ourselves, we’re gonna be victim to things that could help us, could expand our world.

Think about your life. Think about what you’re fighting, and why. Does it need to go? Do you need to embrace it?

Learn to live with who you are. Learn to live with it, and you’ll learn to love it.

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