Me Too

09/15/2014 · 2 comments

in Noa Gavin, Vulnerability

Despite my best efforts, I don’t really like to share a lot about myself. I think I’m weird. I think I say and think a lot of really dumb things. I think I look weird.

And the thing is, I do all of those things. We’re all that way though. I say and think dumb things, and I look a little funny. I am really weird, but that’s part of who I am. It’s part of who we all are.

When things get tough, I like to pretend to be so strong and not share, but I end up killing myself. I dissolve into shame at not being able to handle everything all at once. I make myself worse than I was before, because I won’t reach out. I won’t find connection.

I am ashamed of my pain.

The thing about shame is that it’s a spiral. We start off being ashamed of maybe one or two things we’ve said to someone. Then we’re ashamed of the way we look one day. Then, we’re ashamed of the way we think. Before long, we’re ashamed to be alive and we’re nearly dead and it feels like there is no way out.

We mostly live as islands. We feel unique, and because we are, we feel that no one else in the world can empathize with our experiences, thoughts, feelings.

Here’s the thing, individuality and sameness are not mutually exclusive.

You can be you, uniquely, perfectly, weirdly you, and still rely on others experiences to relate to. You don’t abandon who you are because you share and empathize with someone perhaps very unlike you. You don’t lose you because we all share sameness with others in the world.

What grows our world is the fact that we are so very different, and yet live with experiences and people and stimuli that share a base level of sameness.

It is only through sharing that we learn.
It is only through sharing that we grow.
It is only through sharing that we find a connection to our world and make it, and ourselves, better.

When I started sharing, instead of being met with the chorus of disgust I anticipated, I was met with an even more massive chorus of, “ME TOO.” We’re all different. We’re all the same. Moreover, we’re all in this together.

When I started opening up and sharing who I was, I learned that I share so much with so many different people. I learned what a diverse and stellar group of friends and family I have. I learned that I am not alone–I may be lonely, but I am never, ever alone. Help is just a text away.

So, If you need permission, here it is:
You don’t have to be ashamed of who you are, what you like, and what you do. If you’re not hurting anyone else, do your fuckin’ thing. Open yourself, and grow. 

Michele September 15, 2014 at 2:40 pm

I have found that the more I opened up the more I found more people as weird as I am.
Michele recently posted..Things I Cried Over or Almost Cried Over in the Last 30 Days

Abby September 15, 2014 at 3:14 pm

Yup. The posts that I’m always most hesitant to share always end up being the ones that save me the most, that show me that I can be vulnerable and the whole world won’t explode. In fact, it gets a little bit bigger.
Abby recently posted..Thoughts Everyone Has While Driving

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