Let me tell you a thing:
Hard lives come to a lot of us. A whole goddamn lot. The people that have easy lives are in the teeniest tiniest minority. It’s just not that common.
What is common is whining about your life and becoming a victim to your own existence. Don’t do that shit.
Ching Shih was a prostitute in her early life, and that blows. Not a lot of people come by prostitution by good means, you know? Then what happened to her, OH MAN, she was captured by PIRATES.
HOW HARD FOR HER RIGHT?
Yeah well, she married the motherfucking captain of the fleet, the goddamn chief pirate.
THEN HE DIED.
OH NO. FUCK. WHATEVER WILL SHE DO?
You know what that bitch did? She took control of the fleet, and married her younger lover. She expanded the fleet. She created a massively successful system of corporate piracy that commanded thousands of ships and men. She was so successful and so feared that her home nation of China came after her–in a bad bad way.
OH GOD WHAT NOW.
CHINA IS AFTER HER SHE’S GONNA DIE.
Okay NO WAY she beat them down so badly that they ended up having to offer her and all her pirates amnesty and nice jobs just so Ching Shih would stop fucking all the shit up and being rich and awesome, because it was kind of ruining some people’s lives.
So then did she live the rest of her life quiet and peacefully and die alone?
That bitch started an old-school casino and died rich and happy and with both fists in the air. She was THE most successful pirate of all time. Not ‘successful for a lady’–successful overall. She was the best–biggest fleet, baddest bitch. Ching Shih was the shit.
Your life is hard?
THEN YOU BE HARD BACK TO LIFE, LADIES. WE GOT FLEETS TO RUN AND NATIONS TO SCARE.