Monthly Recap: Saying Yes

04/29/2014 · 2 comments

in Abby Heugel, Jen Reinmuth, Noa Gavin, Saying Yes

Noa Gavin – The Fearless Bitch

LOFB - NoaI think I learned more from this month than I have the others. The idea of saying yes to things is a cornerstone of my life. I struggle with depression and anxiety, so a good amount of my time is spent deciding to say yes to things I don’t want to do out of nonsense fear, and saying yes to saying no to things I don’t want to do for good reasons. Sometimes it’s saying yes to just getting in the shower, because some days that’s all I’ve got. Sometimes it’s saying yes to something much bigger–writing, for instance, or a new show.

I think the thing I take away most from this month is how knowing your identity and saying yes is unbelievably intertwined. I say yes probably too much–I say yes to so many things that they all kind of fall apart. I spend all my time working on things I don’t love (only like) and leaving no time for the things I really want to do.

I know now that I need to sit down and evaluate my real goals–my real, solid, can’t-live-without-‘em goals and learn how to say yes to things that work towards that. I say yes to everything all the time, which means I’m not focused, not working towards an end. I’m just…busy. I’ll learn to say yes to hobbies instead of just exhaustion-fueled-cool-down activities. I’ll learn to say yes to new opportunities when they arise, but with slightly more forethought than before.

Still say yes–always say yes–but say yes knowing who you are.

Jen Reinmuth – The Fierce Bitch

LOFB - JenThis month’s topic, “saying yes” weighed heavy on my heart as this month has been a series of rejections for me. I could you bore you with the gory details, but let’s just say that getting laid off was the highlight of the last thirty days, the last two have which have been a giant CostCo sized box of suck. But now I’m forced to face my shit head on and start saying. . .no. . .SHOUTING “YES!!!!!” at all of the “nos” in my path.

YES I will find a job! YES I will take controlof my health and well-being. YES I will tell those toxic people in my life to go pound sand. YES I will count my blessings every day. And then count them again. . .and then one more time, just be sure and all. YES I will be 100% present for my children. YES I will tell my writer’s block to stop being such a douche and eat a dick. YES I will believe that despite the pain, the heartbreak, and the shocking turns of event as of late, something better is on the horizon. I know that some of the events of this last month can’t be reversed, but instead of covering my ears and sobbing “no”, I can use them as a catalyst to turn my life around and start saying “yes” to growth and change. A wise woman told me this morning, “You have so much going on in your life — kids, friends, etc. WTF? Take control of your life!” How can you say “no” to that? xoxo, Jen

Abby Heugel – The Funny Bitch

This month’s theme should have been easy for me to write about, and yet I was an ass and told Noa to skip me this month (in essence, saying “no” to writing about saying “yes” because I make no sense at all.) However, I ended up writing a post with that theme on my own blog, yet still didn’t really like what I wrote.

Why?

LOFB - AbbyBecause unlike people who say they have to quit saying “yes” to other people and things, I think I need to do the opposite. I need to quit listening to myself and doing why my often disordered thinking tells me to do, and instead say “yes” to the people around me.

Depression or any kind of addiction is isolating. It’s not that I can’t reach out—I know there are people out there who would care—but rather that I don’t want to most times. I want to want to get out of this hole, but I’m so comfortable with being uncomfortable that often the dysfunction has become the norm.

When I’m alone, I can say “yes” to myself all the time. I can do what I want to cope—as maladaptive as that may be—and say “no” to anyone who stands in my way. Don’t get me wrong in that I’m not selfish, but I’m also not open with things. I keep it all to myself. I figure I can handle it all, even if what I’m doing might not really work.

So I guess the takeaway from this month for me is that I can’t always say “yes” to me if it means that I say “no” to what I really need. It’s not easy to make changes. In fact, it sucks when your coping mechanism becomes much more harmful than helpful, yet you feel powerless to let that thing go. It’s easier to say “yes” to the lure of that shit instead of getting the help that you need—from friends, family or even professionals.

But sometimes, as scary as it may seem, “yes” might just be what you need. Yes to asking for help, yes to admitting that you don’t know it all, yes to taking that risk. In other words, saying “yes” to letting go of control and trusting the people you love.

Abby April 30, 2014 at 8:05 am

I love this recap…and you ladies. The end.
Abby recently posted..(Probably)True Hollywood Stories

Noa April 30, 2014 at 5:21 pm

WE LEARNED THINGS

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