02/03/2014 · 33 comments

in The League

I had to say it twice.

When I started The League Of Funny Bitches 4 years ago, the mission was to connect and encourage funny women. It did just that, and for that, I’m proud. We found one another, connected with good/great/best friends, and created a damn cool community.

Now, it’s time to branch out, broaden our horizons, to talk about everything that makes us the baddest bitches that we are.


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 We’ve all been called bitches, and very incredibly rarely in a positive context. We’re bitches because we won’t give it up or bitches because we gave it up too much. We’re bitches because we’re loud or quiet, confident or insecure, ambitious or meek. We’re called bitches by people who are afraid of the idea that women are fantastic by merit of being themselves–of accepting who they are and owning that shit. Bitch means assertive. Bitch means determined. Bitch means taking no shit.

It’s bullshit that being a bitch is a derogatory term. Why do we work so hard to be told that what we do makes us lesser in the eyes of others–men and women alike?

So screw it. Call us bitches. Call us what we are: fuckin’ bitches. We use that word to harden our armor, because in the words of Our Lady of Perpetual Attitude, Tina Fey:


The League Of Fuckin’ Bitches

LOFB - NoaLOFB - JenLOFB - Abby

I proudly introduce The League Of Fuckin’ Bitches Council: myself, Jen Reinmuth, and Abby Heugel. These bitches know what the fuck is up, know what it means to own the title bitch, and know the value of their own life stories. They, and you, are survivors of your own life stories. They, and you, have triumphed in becoming a formidable bitch. They, and you, are the baddest of the bad.

Every month, we’re going to choose a theme relevant to the bitches of the world (all the bitches). We’ll tear it apart, top to bottom, in our Fearless, Fierce, Funny ways through writing, art, video, podcasting, and who the fuck knows what else we’ll think up. We’ll introduce you to other bitches who bring that theme to life. We’ll talk about it until we’re blue in the tits, and then the next month, we’ll choose a new one and start all over again.

Mondays and Wednesdays: Original content from myself, Jen, or Abby.

Fridays: It’s Fuckin’ Bitch Friday, where we choose a bitch who we feel embodies the monthly theme. It may be a video, a podcast, a single blog post or article or book or art piece or interview or sacrifice to ladyhood.

Last Wednesday Of Every Month: We do a group podcast wrapping up the month and dragging up old wounds (probably).

Here’s where YOU come in

The League has always thrived on the community, and that continues especially now. Strength in numbers, motherfucker.

Here’s how it works: Just as we get to be the ones to declare that being a Bitch is a good thing, we get to define what kinds of Bitches we are. You get to tell me (and the world) what your F-Word is.

Are you a Fabulous Bitch? Faithful Bitch? Fine? Fearsome? Fun? Free? Whatever your F is, own that shit. Wear it like a badge of honor, because that’s exactly what it is.

Do you know of someone who really embodies this month’s theme? Read or saw something you think fits in well? Did something yourself that fits in well with the theme? Got an idea about a theme we should cover? Tell us!

And so it begins. Thanks for starting this journey with me, with us. You mean the world to me. I’ll see you on Wednesday for our first original content post.

This month’s theme is: Enough

Julie February 3, 2014 at 2:42 am

Amen!! Anyone have a digital beer mug I can repeatedly bang on an electronic table? And let me be the first to say this change you have made is amazeballs. I can’t wait for bitches to come crawling out of the woodwork. You may also be interested to know that my office web filter blocks your site under the category “Sex Website”.

And my f-word?
I am a Fearsome Bitch. Hear me roar, motherf*ckers.

Noa February 6, 2014 at 7:36 pm

FEARSOME!! I’m so excited.

Princess Stupidhead February 3, 2014 at 5:14 am

Oh hell, yeah! What a fabulous idea, Bitches! My f-word is fiery. Definition: consisting of fire or burning strongly and brightly. Bingo. Born a flaming redhead, I have been outraged, pissed-off and appalled most of my life. I have also won an Olympic Gold Medal Champion in tantrum throwing. In fact, I am such a bitch that I refused to enter the world like everyone expected me to, hence I was born ass-first. Now is that, or is that not a supreme bitch move? Oh yeah, it so is.

What pisses me off? Everything in this stupid world, that’s what, and that’s why my motto is “I hate everything.”

Except you guys. You’re all right. Well, at least so far.
Princess Stupidhead recently posted..Pulling Straight Through Since 1958

Noa February 6, 2014 at 7:38 pm

I am afraid of fire, but not of you.

Josh H D February 3, 2014 at 7:06 am

Jen is one of my favourite people (not just women) in the whole fucking world. I think it’s just fucking awesome you two have gotten together. Rock the fuck on.

Josh D

Noa February 6, 2014 at 7:39 pm

It’s a recipe for either the apocalypse or the best thing ever.

Abby February 3, 2014 at 7:54 am

I am so freaking honored to be part of this counsel and looking forward to not only the discussion and awesomeness sure to arise, but also to seeing if anyone’s tits actually do turn blue. I would settle for minor swelling, but whatever. We’ll see.
Abby recently posted..Under the Weather

Noa February 6, 2014 at 7:40 pm

In hilarious news, my tits are in so much pain today.

Jen February 3, 2014 at 10:21 am

I am so excited about this I may have shat myself. I love you bitches mad hard.
Jen recently posted..Baby, You Can Park My Car

Johi Kokjohn-Wagner February 3, 2014 at 2:25 pm

I’m going to let you pick my f-word.
Johi Kokjohn-Wagner recently posted..5 Steps, 5 Pounds, 5 Days!

Noa February 6, 2014 at 7:43 pm


Mayor Gia February 3, 2014 at 10:43 am

Ah, this sounds great! As for what F i am…um….ummm *spins around in circles* THIS IS STRESSFUL I’M NOT GOOD AT MAKING DECISIONS QUICKLY.
Mayor Gia recently posted..YAY: Superbowl!

Noa February 6, 2014 at 7:46 pm

Take your time…don’t be stressed!

Jana February 3, 2014 at 12:36 pm

I’m a formidable bitch — and proud of it!

Except when I’m around my grandbaby – ’cause I’m trying not to swear around her.
Jana recently posted..The “Ewes” of New York

Noa February 6, 2014 at 7:46 pm

Oh man. That is too fuckin’ hard for me.

nadine February 3, 2014 at 1:29 pm


Noa February 6, 2014 at 7:47 pm


Molly Dugger Brennan February 3, 2014 at 1:41 pm

I just wrote about this topic on my blog this week (must be something in the air.) My piece is entitled “Potty-mouth Princess” and the link is shown here. Let’s all own our righteous bitchiness. My F-word? Full-frontal. I am a full-frontal bitch. Boom. Done.

P.S. Love you Noa, and have been following you since I found you through Jennie Lawson.
Molly Dugger Brennan recently posted..Potty-Mouth Princess

Noa February 6, 2014 at 7:49 pm

Hell Yes.

Tans February 3, 2014 at 1:52 pm

This is so fanfuckingtastic that I can’t even begin to express it in any way that would do it justice. I love reading you bitches, this is gonna be off the charts.

Yours truly, Feisty Bitch
Tans recently posted..On the Radio…

Noa February 6, 2014 at 7:49 pm

That was such a Feisty answer.

Johi Kokjohn-Wagner February 3, 2014 at 2:13 pm

I love you all.
Johi Kokjohn-Wagner recently posted..5 Steps, 5 Pounds, 5 Days!

Johi Kokjohn-Wagner February 3, 2014 at 7:49 pm

You know that I am not one to post spammy links to my shiz in the comments, but I felt this was appropriate. You can stone me in the next life.

Noa February 6, 2014 at 7:49 pm

Johi, I love you so.

Stephanie February 3, 2014 at 7:48 pm

I like. And I am a Full-On Bitch. As a matter of fact, I made myself a sign years ago that said THE Bitch. Go, Bitches!
Stephanie recently posted..Blog for Mental Health Project

Noa February 6, 2014 at 7:49 pm


Alice February 4, 2014 at 11:17 am

I am the Forever Bitch. I’ve been married forty years to a petroleum engineer with Asperger’s Syndrome. He has my left kidney.

He’s called me a Bitch in a not nice way. Once. Now there’s a decorative magnet on our fridge with a lovely woman in garb from the 1930’s. The message says, “You say I’m a bitch like it’s a bad thing.”

I’m in this relationship Forever, and he will be reminded FOREVER (in a nice decorative way.)

Noa February 6, 2014 at 7:50 pm

You tell ‘em!

nova February 4, 2014 at 12:43 pm

I’m a frozen bitch. It takes a long time for me to warm up to anybody.
nova recently posted..reading speed…

Noa February 6, 2014 at 7:50 pm

That’s a damn good thing.

hoodyhoo February 6, 2014 at 9:41 am

I choose “Frabjous,” as in “Oh frabjous day, calloo, callay,” ’cause I have loved that word since I was but a wee lass (shut up). To me it means all things spectacular, zany and/or possibly filled with unicorns. How am I today? I’m frabjous, thanks, and yourself?
hoodyhoo recently posted..I Rule You

Noa February 6, 2014 at 7:51 pm

You are so fucking weird and I love you so much.

Andi February 21, 2014 at 12:47 am

I am a finicky bitch because damnit, I want it how I want it!

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