Joke-Off: Rejected Buzzfeed Quizzes

01/28/2014 · 8 comments

in Joke Off

Here’s a thing I’ve seen hundreds of thousands of on my Facebook feed in the past week: Buzzfeed Quizzes about the most inane things. You know, these:

Screen Shot 2014-01-27 at 8.39.46 PM

They’re everywhere. From where you should live or who you are in Harry Potter or if you belong in King’s Landing or Cloud City (for the record, Cloud City), these quizzes don’t ask any of the hard questions at all. I think we can help them out, because if I’m gonna see 4,000 of these on Facebook, I might as well learn something worthwhile about my friends.

Add your ideas into the comments below!

Joke-Off: Rejected Buzzfeed Quizzes

  • What kind of an asshole do you have?
  • What is your deepest insecurity that you don’t want anyone to know about?
  • What kind of porn do you watch when you know no one will find out?
  • What will people think of your browser history when you die?
  • What do you think a clitoris does?
  • Who is your secret crush from your real life circle of friends?
  • What kind of anal play are you in to?
  • Are you a really bad person that we shouldn’t talk to?
  • What felony are you most likely to commit?
  • What lies have you told on your resume?
  • Where do you live, exactly?
  • What kind of purple does your dick turn in to?
  • What are your real feelings about race?
  • What kind of movies do you lie about liking a lot to seem smart?
  • What makes you cry at night?
  • What kind of demon haunts your life and your shower?
  • What do you think about when you’re trying to cum but having a hard time?
  • What did your mother do to you?
  • What did your father do to you?
  • When will you die, to the day and hour?
  • Where do you hide all your good stuff?
  • What kinds of things have you lied to your parents about?
  • How sure are you that you’re straight?
  • What do people really say about you when you walk away?
  • Does anyone even like you at all?
Mayor Gia January 29, 2014 at 6:34 am

What kind of porn is best for you?
Mayor Gia recently posted..#BackPain

Jessica January 29, 2014 at 9:20 am

What does your poop say about you?

What did the priest do to you?

Laura January 29, 2014 at 9:56 am

Which of your friends are more likely to snap and kill you?

How long would you last in a three- some?
Laura recently posted..Sisters

Cheryl S. January 29, 2014 at 10:49 am

Are you good in bed? (No. For real.)

Are you a whore?

Kari January 29, 2014 at 6:14 pm

Oh, so many of these…had never realized.

ColinP January 29, 2014 at 6:28 pm

What type of spree killing weapon suits you best?
What shade of asshole should you have?
Are you a robot?
How many rutabagas would it take to kill you?
Are your friends trying to secretly marinate you?
ColinP recently posted..Requiescat in Pace Tony Scott (06/21/1944 – 08/19/2012)

Chooplah January 29, 2014 at 6:28 pm

What kind of sad are you?
How many years has it been since you’ve actually read a book?
Which Teen Mom Porn Star are you?
What’s your bank account balance and PIN number?
How many pounds should you lose to hate yourself less and focus on other insecurities brought on by pop culture and shitstained websites like Buzzfeed?
Chooplah recently posted..Marriage Isn’t for You, It’s for the Lasagna and the Health Insurance

Chooplah January 29, 2014 at 6:29 pm

Yikes, got a little dark there, sorry gang.
Chooplah recently posted..Marriage Isn’t for You, It’s for the Lasagna and the Health Insurance

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