Funny Bitch Friday: Convos With My Two-Year-Old

12/05/2013 · 3 comments

in Funny Bitch Friday

The only reason we tolerate the behavior of children is because they’re children. There’s some kind of evolutionary trigger that says, “Oh, it’s okay if they say something fucking creepy. I can’t give them the side eye or call the cops on them or even talk a lot of shit because they’re children. Isn’t that fucking adorable?”

No. No it’s not. It’s the behavior of a sociopath.

Just to show how fucking weird kids are and how awful they can really be, we have Convos With My Two-Year-Old. Verbatim conversations between a child and an adult, as acted by two grown men.

YouTube Preview Image YouTube Preview Image YouTube Preview Image YouTube Preview Image YouTube Preview Image
This Week’s Thursday Throwdown Whooping Cough Is:
Bill G: If Drinking All Day Is Wrong, I Don’t Want To Be Right. 
This is how I feel going into some Christmas parties. I assume you feel the same. 

tumblr_m7jjyb9Rwf1qdlh1io1_400

Mayor Gia December 6, 2013 at 6:34 am

Welp, kids ARE fucking creepy.
Mayor Gia recently posted..Catch Up?

human kaszu December 6, 2013 at 7:36 am

kids are short, not well-read, and distillation of their parents’ worst qualities. The “more cute” they are, the more likely to defecate on themselves. And older they get, the cuter they ain’t.

As Bill Hicks used to say, “Miracle? No more a miracle than eating food and then having a turd come out your ass. America’s trailer–parks are filling with little miracles. Here’s a REAL miracle: raising a kid who’s not an asshole.” (i’m paraphrasing)

Misty December 6, 2013 at 1:34 pm

I love convos with my 2 year old!! It’s the barrette in his hair that kills me. Sooooo brilliant!!
Misty recently posted..Shenanigans with Val: Top Hats, Ghost Stories and Bertha’s Mussels (Part 2)

Previous post:

Next post: