Fine Garden Hotel or “Foine” “Ladygarden” “Fucklodge”?

12/02/2013 · 11 comments

in For The Love Of God, How Did My Life Come To This, Sadist Vagina

Conversation between Adrian and myself in Kyoto, while deciding what to do and where to go for the rest of our vacation.

Adrian: “I found this hotel in Nara that’s only $38!”
Noa: “That’s insane. Is it a hovel? A shack? A bench at the bus stop?”
Adrian: “No, it actually looks really nice, see?”
Noa: “Okay, yeah, it’s not full of bears or anything.”
Adrian: “Really? If that’s your understanding of the difference between nice and terrible hotels, we could stay almost anywhere.”
Noa: “I hate you.”
Adrian: “It…wow..this price includes breakfast the next day. It’s a little far from Nara Park, but hey, $38, right?”
Noa: “Okay, works for me. I’m just waiting to figure out what’s wrong with this place.”
Adrian: “Watch it be a love hotel or something insane like that.”

Yeah. How crazy would that be, right?

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Kelly December 2, 2013 at 2:15 pm

Since gonorrhea is curable, I say that hotel is way more WIN than lose…. For sure.
Kelly recently posted..Randoms – The Wifening Update, Photo Shoot, General Geekiness, and Other Randomness

Noa December 4, 2013 at 6:43 pm

Lots of antibiotics, but also, so many memories.

Just like grandma used to say.

Misty December 2, 2013 at 2:36 pm

Not sure I would take a bath in that bathtub. By far, the nicest tub I’ve ever seen in a hotel, but just imagine the liquids that have been in that cesspool of loving. Methinks gonorrhea would be the LEAST of your concerns.
Misty recently posted..Things To Be Thankful For

Noa December 4, 2013 at 6:44 pm

We heavily rinsed and cleaned because the mood lighting was too much to resist.

Johi December 2, 2013 at 4:02 pm

The community vibrator is disturbing, but the room is lovely!
Johi recently posted..Silent Night, Holey Socks

Noa December 4, 2013 at 6:45 pm

That’s what I said on Yelp.

Bill G. December 3, 2013 at 6:49 pm

Let me guess, it was 38 Bahrain Dinars, which is like $200. Or was it $380 and couldn’t change it because of false-advertising laws?

You two look better on mediocre day impromptu than I ever will. I’m trying to hate but can’t!

Noa December 4, 2013 at 6:45 pm

Nope. Legit, $38.

The ER visit was the expensive part.

Bill G. December 3, 2013 at 6:54 pm

PSA: When using a toilet with butt-spray, make sure that you select the Heat option. Ice water hitting your nether region unexpectedly isn’t much fun. I discovered that in Taiwan.

Noa December 4, 2013 at 6:46 pm

I tried it once.

Never again.

RedandHowling December 4, 2013 at 9:11 pm

I was waiting for you to say that it was $38 for a few hours or that you’d be sharing the room with other “love” couples, so that’s cool you got it for the whole night and alone!
RedandHowling recently posted..Allie Brosh (Hyperbole and a Half) Please Don’t Kill Spiders.

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