Sayonara, Buttholes

11/17/2013 · 24 comments

in I Want This.,Social Services

Alright dickmunches, I’ll see on the fucking flip side because my white ass is headed to Japan for vacation.

tumblr_ms209d1Khr1rl4xjfo1_500OHHHHH SHIT YEAH

I’m sailing my twat across the world and I’m gonna fucking discover all that Japan has to offer: food, music, history, culture, art, and entertainment.

tumblr_mrdq0zlGcO1sa24tdo1_500A lot of unexplainable entertainment, apparently.

 We’re going to Tokyo, Kyoto, Nara, Mt. Koya, and Osaka, and it is the trip I have been waiting for all my life. I have always wanted to go. I took 2 years of Japanese in college (thank God because that shit is coming in handy now). I know more than is reasonably necessary about geisha and the history of Japan. I am going to the motherfucking Studio Ghibli Museum and you can all suck my Dickonese.

tumblr_ltap91G9gx1r4cl5no1_500Look at this shit and tell me it’s not the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen. 

I also know that Japan can be so fucking beautiful and modern and historical and so goddamn weird and fun that I am pleased as tittywillows to be going.

tumblr_mk3l286eWR1s4wjo2o4_400Pictured: Tittywillows.

I’ll be gone for two weeks, so unfortunately thanks to packing restrictions and some tight fucking scheduling, we won’t have a Joke-Off until the first week of December. We will, however, have original new content Monday and Wednesdays, and Funny Bitch Friday as always. I will be able to see and reply to comments, however, so comment away. Thanks for hanging with me.

tumblr_mu5f9cdzWe1si7wi5o1_500If you do comment, do so loudly. 

Is there anything that I absolutely have to see or do or buy or eat or wonder about while I’m there? Any challenges for me? I’ll be trying to update you while I’m there, but I will for sure answer your challenges and questions once I get back, in a post. What do you have for me, assfellows?

Add yours into the comments below. I’ll just leave this here as inspiration.

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{ 24 comments }

Jen November 17, 2013 at 9:35 pm

Two eords: fetush club. Make that shit hsppen. Also, you HAVE to go to the Panscaoe bakery in Kyoto. Their bread us anazeballs and the decor is really cool.
Jen recently posted..No. . .I’m Not Dead.

Noa December 4, 2013 at 6:48 pm

I got as close as I could without having to go to the most frightening part of Shibuya.

Scarlett November 18, 2013 at 4:28 am

Very exciting! Have a fab time. That boob – leggy- shrunken heads thing will give me nightmares so I hope you’re happy xx
Scarlett recently posted..My librarian thinks I’m a serial killer.

Noa December 4, 2013 at 6:48 pm

yay! That’s exactly what I wanted.

Mayor Gia November 18, 2013 at 6:36 am

Ooo fun! Enjoy!
Mayor Gia recently posted..I Had One of Those Weekends.

Noa December 4, 2013 at 6:49 pm

Oh, I did.

human kaszu November 18, 2013 at 7:24 am

Be sure to introduce yourself as Oppenheimer’s grand-daughter.

Noa December 4, 2013 at 6:49 pm

I have a pretty awesome resting bitch face, so no introduction was ever necessary.

shannon November 18, 2013 at 12:46 pm

I am incredibly jealous while at the same time very happy to hear that you’ll be living out your trip of a lifetime. I expect some bat shit insane stuff when you get home. Oh, and A+++ for the Battle Royale gif….

Noa December 4, 2013 at 6:50 pm

Just wait ’til monday.

Roxie November 18, 2013 at 1:14 pm

You totally have to be a contestant on “The Happy Smile Super Challenge Family Wish Show”!

Noa December 4, 2013 at 6:50 pm

Sadly, it is no more. I was stalked, though!

Misty November 18, 2013 at 1:51 pm

For some reason, you and Japan makes so much absolutely total fucking sense that it is unbelievable that it hasn’t happened prior to this moment. Have a crazy, wacky, shitballs amazing time! Can’t wait to hear all about this when you return.
Misty recently posted..I Got Banged

Noa December 4, 2013 at 6:51 pm

I felt like I was home.

ColinP November 18, 2013 at 3:33 pm

Sounds like the trip of a lifetime, hope you have a great time. Might want to consider investing in a Geiger counter… just sayin’.
ColinP recently posted..Requiescat in Pace Tony Scott (06/21/1944 – 08/19/2012)

Noa December 4, 2013 at 6:52 pm

We got lucky enough to not need one, but we did get a tiny tiny earthquake in a Burger King!

Johi Kokjohn-Wagner November 18, 2013 at 5:48 pm

Ohhhh! Have fun! Now you are making me want to revisit Memoirs of a Geisha, which was a great book but an even better movie because it was so. fucking. beautiful! I hope to see many pictures along your journey. I will need to live vicariously though you because I will be most likely sitting in my living room with an ass-licking cat on my lap.
Johi Kokjohn-Wagner recently posted..Come to think of it, I never really liked that sweater

Noa December 4, 2013 at 6:52 pm

I watched it right before we left.

Johi. I met geiko and maiko and they were all amazing. IT’S REAL.

Valerie November 18, 2013 at 8:17 pm

You get extra points if you rip someone’s head off and they turn into an octopus. At least… That’s all my favorite pornos end.

Have a fun and weird trip!

Hugs!

Valerie
Valerie recently posted..And then Batman showed up to the party.

Noa December 4, 2013 at 6:54 pm

That guy should have never jumped in front of me.

The rest of the subway enjoyed watching that, though.

RedandHowling November 18, 2013 at 8:27 pm

I don’t have any advice on what to absolutely see or do or buy while in Japan, but I can suggest what NOT to do: Don’t eat Italian.

And since your Japanese is a bit rusty—the Japanese word for “um” is “ano”, so you can use that as filler while searching for the right words to say. Bon Voyage!
RedandHowling recently posted..Allie Brosh (Hyperbole and a Half) Please Don’t Kill Spiders. You Need Them. We All Do.

Noa December 4, 2013 at 6:54 pm

We didn’t listen.

WE SHOULD HAVE.

Eu Blanda November 20, 2013 at 3:14 pm

Also check out the Brazilian sector in Asakusa, Tokyo- i need to know just how much portuguese I need to know to visit there for Samba Carnival next year!

Noa December 4, 2013 at 6:54 pm

A lot. Sorry.

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