If you went to college, you wrote a thesis: a long-ass project about some shit you know really well.
If you’re like me and have 9 hours left and just went, “Fuck it,” you did basically all you needed to do but that.
Adrian wrote one about airport architecture. Do you know about how much he’s down with that thesis since then? Not a goddamn thing. They’re essentially useless–it’s a way to prove that you can memorize shit and then regurgitate it in an incredibly specific format for no reason.
If you had to write a thesis about things you really learned in your life, it’d probably be a little more useful. Add your ideas into the comments below!
Joke-Off: If You Wrote A Thesis About Your Life
- A Compendium Of Disturbingly Complete Duggar Family Knowledge
- The Theory Of Ice Cream Sandwiches
- Where Did He Go? The Life Story Of Cotton Eyed Joe
- Black Holes: A Theory On Closets, Drawers, And Washing Machines
- Can We Fix It?: Bob The Builder And His Effects On Sanity And Repeated Viewing
- Fire In The Hole: What Kind Of Infection Do I Have
- Timesuck: The Actual Happenings In An Office Bathroom
- Pythagoras And The Mathematical Probability Of Saying Something Fucking Stupid Continually
- Nope: The Knowledge of Other’s People’s Hand-Whereabouts
- Death And Netflix: Can You Die Of A Broken Heart From WIFI Outages
- Disturbingly Specific: Fanfiction And Fantasies In The Real World
- Sex, Lies, And Chores: Spousal Murder And No One Fucking Getting Shit Done
- Not Okay: Blackface?
- Not Okay: Get Back In The Kitchen Jokes
- Not Okay: Men’s Rights Activism
- The Fedora And The Lonely Man: An Inevitable Connection
- Holes In The Wall: Moving and The Family Unit’s Emotions
- Do I Care: Not Even A Bit
- What Don’t I Care About: Almost Everything
- Grocery Stores And Massacres: An Inevitable Cause and Effect
- How Awkward: The Physician And Ice Cold Offices and Instruments
- It Won’t Hurt: The Great Lie Of Gynecology
- Are You Pregnant: No, But Your Body Likes To Lie To You
- That’s What She Said: Sexual Innuendos Out Of Everything
- Selfie Game Too Weak: Sometimes You’re Just Not Photogenic
- Penis Game Too Strong: An Elephant Could Wear A Condom As A Helmet, You Dickhole
- Cuntwaffle: Everything’s Funnier When You Add Waffles
- I Hope You’re Shot By A Cannon Outside Of A Kindergarten: Cartoon Violence Is Okay To Wish On People
- I Hope You’re Shot By A Cannon Outside Of A Kindergarten: The Left Lane And Ego Politics
- I Hope You’re Shot By A Cannon Outside Of A Kindergarten: Shouting At Service People Who are Just Doing Their Jobs
- I Hope You’re Shot By A Cannon Outside Of A Kindergarten: Hipsters And Society
- I Hope You’re Shot By A Cannon Outside Of A Kindergarten: Condescending Strangers’ Comments On Fashion And How Much I Fucking Care
- I Hope You’re Shot By A Cannon Outside Of A Kindergarten: Your Kid Is Such A Dick