Is there anything more painful than writing a thank-you note for a gift you didn’t want/need/like/ever require in the history of mankind?
I am always grateful to receive gifts from anyone. That person went out of their way to give you something they thought you would love–that is amazing that anyone likes anyone enough to do that at all.
But sometimes…sometimes…sometimes you just don’t know what the fuck to do with it, much less how to precisely thank someone for it.
Sometimes you just have to say fuck it. Add your submissions into the comments below!
Joke-Off: Honest Thank You Notes
- I guess you hate me?
- Thank you for the new dishrags I turned that sweater into
- It’s like you want to start a feud
- If this is what you feel is appropriate, I’m worried about your kids
- Good to know this is how you feel about me
- No one ever needs marble cheese plates
- I’d rather have a punch in the mouth
- The smell of cat pee won’t come out so okay
- You make Bam Margera look like a nice person
- When I look at this I think of setting myself on fire
- I don’t know who you are anymore
- I’ll never use this not even to regift
- I’m 100% sure this is shoplifted
- HAHAHAHA Nope
- I hope you get rear ended on the way home just enough to put you out financially because that’s how I feel right now
- Fuck you
- You have too much self-confidence to be giving shit like this away
- Are you a child?
- You’re not honoring the dollar-to-dollar gift trade agreement
- Oh good more soap sets I don’t have 400
- Not fit for a dog
- I gave this to you literally one week ago
- Is this what they mean by Patriarchy?
- You’re a monster and must be stopped
- You’ve for sure worn this before
- Please stop trying
- I don’t know what to do with a Budweiser hat
- Thanks for the firewood I know that’s not what it was but still
- Cash is fine
- I can’t give this away
- Rosa Parks didn’t die for this
- You mean nothing to me
- I know exactly how you feel about me and you should feel the same
- Was this once on fire?
- We’re through after this
- How many rhinestones before you say enough?
- What store did you even get this at
- You set women’s rights back 30 years just by giving such a shitty gift