You know those people on Facebook who say, “WHOO EVEN CARES ABOUT TH ROYAL FAMILY. I MEAN PAY ATTENTIAN TO OUR OWN COUNTRY. AMERICA!” I feel weird about those types of statements. That’s like not traveling because you’ve not seen all of your city yet, or watching only American movies because you are American.
I also feel weird about it BECAUSE I FUCKING LOVE THE ROYAL FAMILY.
Holy shit do I love a good Princess. You damned right I stayed up and watched their wedding. You bet I read all about her latest fashions and happenings. You fucking know that I am excited to see this goddamn royal baby.
The only thing I hate knowing is that it’s going to have such a lame baby name because of, you know, history. Let’s give Kate some better ideas. Add your entries into the comments below. We’ll vote tomorrow, winner announced on Friday!
Joke-Off: The Royal Baby’s Name
- Her Majesty Better Than Beyonce
- Sir Go Fuck Yourself With A Coronet OH WAIT
- Lord Never Have A Job
- The Prince Classroom Snacks Must Be Local Sourced And Gilded
- Count Made Of Money
- The Duchess Of Wouldn’t Be Caught Dead In Jeans
- His Highness of Born Cooler Than You Can Ever Be
- Lord Junglegym Is Mine Motherfuckers III
- Lady Baby Crown
- Countess Of Better Birthdays Than You Could Ever Dream Of
- Princess Your Kid Isn’t A Royal
- Prince Probable Criminal Record
- His Majesty Already Has A Pony
- Her Highness Platinum Spoon
- Lord Black AmEx At Birth
- Lady Fuck You Kanye West
- Prince More Accomplished Than You Are Already
- Duchess Top-Notch Genes
- Lady Looks Down On You
- Sir Fast Track
- Princess Doesn’t Have To Try
- Lord Media Training At Two
- Lady Charmed Life
- His Highness Male Pattern Balding