Some people throw their children period parties, and I think that is endlessly strange.
I understand that having a period means you can thusly create life, but for the majority of your life, it’s going to be one big goddamn inconvenience. You’ll ruin half a drawer of good underwear and tear through more cotton than Eli Whitney just trying to contain the lot nature punched you in the pussy with.
That shit blows.
But, at least, it’s one of the least awkward parties I can think up for children. Add your submissions into the comments below! We’ll vote tomorrow, winner announced on Friday.
Joke-Off: Awkward Parties To Throw For Children
- First Boner
- First Boner During Math Class And Also Everyone Saw
- Santa’s Not Real And Neither Is A Stable Adulthood
- It Never Really Gets Better, You Just Get Hairier
- In 1860 You’d Be Supporting A Family By Now
- Didn’t Cry At A Sleepover First Time Ever
- You Need Deodorant!
- Time To Be A Slave To Shaving Forever
- Sticky Sheets Smelly Feets
- Acne Has Made You Its Bitch
- Acne Doesn’t Just Stop One Day It’s With You Forever Like The Overwhelming Ramifications Of Human Mortality
- Awkward Phase Activate!
- Everything’s Black Because You Have So Many Feelings
- The Dog Didn’t Run Away
- I Can’t Wait To Hate You For 7 Years
- You’re The Biggest Mean Girl, And That Means You Fail
- Poor Decisions Poor Hygiene
- Fame Is Unattainable By Most
- You Aren’t Special, It’s Time You Knew
- It’s Called Photoshop And The Reason Why You Have Body Issues
- The World Is Cruel And Hates You
- Old Enough For Pubes, Too Old For Skid Marks
- Everyone Knows What You’re Doing In There
- You’re About To Enter 7 Years Of The Worst Hell You Can Imagine
- You’re Getting Breasts: Time To Be Ashamed Of Them
- Your Room Smells Awful
- Scrub-A-Dub-Dub, I’m Not Touching Your Laundry Ever Again