Why All Women Everywhere Don’t Like Your Manly TV Shows Ever

05/27/2013 · 14 comments

in Sadist Vagina,What Is Wrong With You?

I don’t know how to break it to you, but I hate your TV show. I watch it because it’s what you like, and I’m not like regular girls and I won’t nag you and grumble. But, just so you know, I don’t like it for a lot of reasons.

There Is Blood

And I think that’s icky and it hurts my feelings.

The Characters Have Sex

And I hate sex and it hurts my feelings.

There Are Cars

And I don’t get them and it hurts my feelings.

Other Women Are In It

And I am jealous of the attention you pay them and it hurts my feelings.

It Has A Multi-Episode Arc

And that’s too long for me to pay attention to and it hurts my feelings.

The Clothes Are Weird

And I judge them and it hurts my feelings.

The Language Is Bad And Complicated

And it hurts my head and my ears and it hurts my feelings.

The Humor Is Crude

And is not ladylike and it hurts my feelings.

Episodes Are More Than 20 minutes

And I have laundry to do and it hurts my feelings.

It’s About Fantasy/War/Violence/Space/Something Other Than Gossip

And I don’t get it and it hurts my feelings.

I just think that you should know that unless a show contains none of these things, I won’t really like it at all and I think it’s unfair that you make me watch it. No woman ever would like something like this, so please just go watch it with your bros and leave me to my pink drinks and Katherine Heigl.

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{ 13 comments }

Kathleen May 27, 2013 at 9:44 am

Hahahaa! Wait, that’s sarcasm, right? :)

Lana May 27, 2013 at 10:04 am

This describes you to a T! Sometimes I wish you weren’t such a damn prude!

Jaime May 27, 2013 at 1:01 pm

I don’t know about you, but I’ll watch anything with Vin Diesel in it…. I could stare at those arms for hours.

Misty May 27, 2013 at 4:10 pm

Also, anything with fighting or war in it. I’m a girl, hence I am a pacifist. I do not approve of your small penis overcompensation battles. And it hurts my feelings.
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Mayor Gia May 27, 2013 at 4:36 pm

Right?! It’s just so super crazy that I like Game of Thrones (AND the sex scenes) even though I’m a woman and it’s for men only. I’m probably like the ONLY woman who watches it because I’m a special snowflake. And I probably only watch it for the pretty dresses. Yeah, that’s it.
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Kathleen May 27, 2013 at 7:11 pm

I watch it for the penises. ;)

Sarah May 28, 2013 at 4:44 pm

I totally watch GoT. Mostly for the dresses. And so Tyrion can make me laugh.
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Liz Rosema May 27, 2013 at 6:38 pm

I like war movies and whiskey, I am a girl…oh wait I am a 6 foot androgynous chick/dude? person. Ah! Now that make sense.
They only have dog sex in Game of Thrones and it hurts my feelings.
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Dave in Sherman May 27, 2013 at 10:13 pm

Thank God, folks who don’t repeat the spew from Cosmo. Where do you ladies hang out? (I’ll bring PITCH BLACK and some Popcorn)
Dave
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Kenny Boy May 28, 2013 at 8:56 am

I am a man so I totally don’t watch So You Think You Can Dance. That shit is so girly that one time I walked into the room when it was on TV and I started my period. I have no idea who Nigel, Mary Murphy, Lil’ C, Twitch or any of those people are. At all. I have never gotten choked up watching the Exorcist do his routine. Because I’m a man. I’m a man who discovered the wheel and built the Eiffel Tower out of metal and brawn. That’s what kind of man I am.

Laura May 28, 2013 at 9:00 am

I feel the same way about video games- there are multiple players who say not nice things and it hurts my feelings.
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Laura May 28, 2013 at 9:03 am

Also, sometimes when I watch those manly TV shows and the men are more attractive than you and it makes me sad.
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Dana the Biped May 28, 2013 at 12:50 pm

You know what I hate? Those mannish politics shows. Everybody’s so mean to each other, and it makes me cry a little.

Also, totally unrelated: I just decided I’m going to call my tits Bru and Haha.
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