Joke-Off: Sad and Terrible Prom Themes

05/22/2013 · 17 comments

in Joke Off

It’s Prom season!

And that means my Facebook feed is filled with people reminiscing about how magical their proms were, how perfect the themes, how badly they peaked in high school.

Prom themes are the worst, you guys. Paris Memories, Tropical Dreams–Balloon Arches Over Bullshit, I say. Let’s give them some better ideas. Add your submissions into the comments below!

Joke-Off: Sad and Terrible Prom Themes

  • No More Big Parties ‘Til Your Wedding
  • No One Cares
  • Virginity Falls
  • Fantasy In The Stars Was The Cheapest Option
  • The Thinnest You’ll Ever Be
  • In 5 Years You’ll See These Photos And Cry Probably
  • In 5 Years Other People Will See These Photos And Feel Sad For You
  • Love Under Limited Circumstances
  • The Most Important You Can Feel At 17
  • Under The Sea-men Covered Sheets
  • Shitshow
  • You Should Have Used This Money For College
  • Everyone Here Has An STD
  • The Starting Line For a 40 LB Gain
  • No, Your Life Isn’t Just Like The Hangover
  • Paris Dreams That You Will Never See Because Of Your Poor Choices
  • More Than Likely Ends In Tears
  • More Than Likely Ends In A Blowjob Then Tears
  • Nothing Works Like 10 Things I Hate About You
  • $400 In Balloons = Magic
  • Your Prom Photos Are Future Joke Fodder
  • Everyone’s Periods Start Tonight
  • You Will Try To Kegstand In A Crinoline
  • Everyone Looks Terrible
  • Tonight Is The Night You Throw Up A Bottle Of Boone’s Farm
  • You’ll Think Back And Realize After-Prom Was Way More Fun
Favorite Comment From The Last Post:
From Dana The Biped: I was seven. I didn’t want to go on the bumper boats–even at that age, I could recognize a death trap when I saw one. My sister beat, I mean, talked me into it. I cried for fifteen minutes in that horrorboat until the attendant even realized my boat had motherfucking started on fire.
Kristi May 22, 2013 at 1:19 am

Your Most Expensive Date Ever ..until you get that hooker

Everyone Is Wearing Your Dress, Loser

Hide Your Flask And Dance!
Kristi recently posted..He Renders Me S(peach)less

Todd May 22, 2013 at 3:09 am

It’ll Be Fine…As Long As You Lower Your Expectations

You Could Have Spend That Tux Rental Fee On A Professional Handjob
Todd recently posted..“Do you wanna save a whale?”, she said…

Todd May 22, 2013 at 3:15 am

Dance Now, Because One Day You’ll Be Tired And Bloated
Todd recently posted..“Do you wanna save a whale?”, she said…

Mayor Gia May 22, 2013 at 6:58 am

Prom Night Dumpster Baby

(thank you, family guy)
Mayor Gia recently posted..Bangs

Johi May 22, 2013 at 8:14 am

Clearasil and Condoms

In ten years, you’ll be ashamed you wore that dress

The moment my teen pregnancy happened

I’ll be Romy, you be Michelle
Johi recently posted..Socks and Sangrias (Alternately titled: Another Evening with Brock and Johi)

Tabitha Crow May 22, 2013 at 8:16 am

My prom theme was “These Magical Nights”. It should have been “These are the most magical nights you are gonna have. Learn to deal with disappointment”

I also used to take school pictures so I’ve been to about 100 proms. Some of my favorite themes:
Forever Young – Not Really. You’ll be old next week.
Casino Royale – This is as close as you will get to being/sleeping with James Bond
Under The Sea – Wear your bikinis now because you’re gonna get stretch marks and cellulite
Tabitha Crow recently posted..Zombies, Lepre-trolls and Snoopy-cabras

LisaR @ Who Stole My Baby? May 22, 2013 at 12:04 pm

Your Boyfriend is Here With A Hotter Girl
Your Parents Are Chaperones, So You Know It’s Going to Be Fun
Everybody Knows You Couldn’t Get A Date
LisaR @ Who Stole My Baby? recently posted..How Many Bears Does It Take to Keep Me Awake?

Misty May 22, 2013 at 1:09 pm

The highest hair and shortest skirts.

Hang out in the parking lot of Hardee’s getting high until the very last moment, then go get your picture taken and feel up your date during one last dance.

Your parents are more excited than you.

Find a date at the last minute because you broke up with your boyfriend 2 days before prom . . . hope he doesn’t date rape you when you pass out at the after party.

(One or more of these things MAY have actually occurred at my prom . . . )
Misty recently posted..Wanna Be Friends?

Dana the Biped May 22, 2013 at 1:35 pm

The last time you’ll feel special until your wedding.
It’s all downhill from here (with sleds and parkas!)
Pimps and Hos (oh wait, that’s college)
The Greatest Depression
Dana the Biped recently posted..I Don’t Know What You’re Talking About–I Am Awesome Company

Alison May 22, 2013 at 2:22 pm

You’re not fooling your parents, they just don’t care.
Alison recently posted..What does it mean to be homesick?

ColinP May 22, 2013 at 4:00 pm


Seriously, your asses are not that clever.

Last chance to grope without a criminal record.
ColinP recently posted..Requiescat in Pace Tony Scott (06/21/1944 – 08/19/2012)

Janene May 22, 2013 at 7:33 pm

You should’ve gone to anti-prom.

Laura May 22, 2013 at 7:51 pm

A Night to Friendzone

Invite Your Cousin Because You Can’t Get A Date

Terrorism Under the Stars

Justin Bieber
Laura recently posted..This is exactly why I love my family

Bill G. May 22, 2013 at 8:11 pm

For what you spent on this one-nighter you could’ve gone somewhere nice and actually had some fun. This night is for mom, dad, and the school. It sucks, and it sucks even worse that you have to pretend to have fun.

Bill G. May 22, 2013 at 8:13 pm

Oops, make that “you could’ve gone somewhere nice and actually had some fun FOR AN ENTIRE 3-DAY WEEKEND.”

Bill G. May 22, 2013 at 8:19 pm

* Future blackmail material.
* It gets worse when aunts, uncles, and grandparents show up to fawn and take pictures. It’s like being Bieber without any of the sex, fun, or money.

Valerie May 22, 2013 at 10:16 pm

Ghetto Fabulous … Never mind… That was actually my real prom theme. Stupid New Jersey.


Valerie recently posted..If I were a phone virus, I would infect the masses. But I’m not, so I just have to settle for wrong numbers.

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