Adrian has a terrible memory for names and faces–especially with celebrities–but he doesn’t know that. Adrian is his own shitty IMDB service, naming every single person starring in a movie/show/advertisement with the incompetence one might expect from a frightened crocodile with a Netflix account.
Some of his brilliant success stories:
- Is that Alain Richter?
- Nope. It’s Alan Rickman!
- Is that Gary Oldman in this Michael Bay movie?
- Nope. It’s an old white guy!
- Is that Matt Damon in this McDonald’s commercial?
- Nope. That’s a young white guy!
- Is that Jessica Simpson in this Law and Order SVU?
- Nope. That’s a blonde background extra with huge tits! Just like it always is every time you’re sure that someone is Jessica Simpson!
Time and time again, I prove him wrong with real and accurate IMDB, but he never quite believes me when I tell him he’s wrong. Last week was the culmination of his terrible memory and my utter shock as his lack of recognition skills.
Adrian: Who is that?
Noa: William Hung.
Adrian: What is he famous for?
Noa: Being really terrible at singing. He auditioned for American Idol and became famous for being awful.
Adrian lost himself in thought for a few minutes
Adrian: I met him once.
Noa: No way.
Adrian: At a bar in Lubbock.
Noa: I’m sure as fuck that William Hung was not in a bar in Lubbock. Ever.
Adrian: No, I know he was. My roommate invited me over to watch him play in a bar, and it was really terrible. I know it was him.
At this point, just like every time he’s sure he’s got the right celebrity, I doubt my earlier declarations of his mistake. Maybe, just maybe, he’s right this time.
Adrian: No, wait. It wasn’t him. It was some black guy who was really terrible at singing.
Noa: You…you confused William Hung with a black guy? I mean…damn, they couldn’t be farther apart looks-wise.
Adrian: I don’t see color. I’m not a fucking racist.
Noa: I…I hate you so much sometimes.
Ever confused someone with someone else hilariously/embarrassingly? Ever seen someone else do that?– Favorite Comment From The Last Post: From Johi Kokjohn-Wagner: I’m honored to be here with the likes of these funny bitches and dicks. Thank you all! I wish I could give each of you a pony. I would even give you each a really nice pony that likes people, not a naughty spoiled one that bites and kicks and runs back to the barn. Ponies can be real assholes sometimes.