Do you know how much I love geeky things?
Do you know how much I love shitty pickup lines?
Do you know how badly I want to combine the two and see how fucking funny you guys are?
Let’s do it. Put your submissions in the comments below, and you’re entered to win a TOTALLY FREE NONSENSE GIF THAT I PULLED FROM TUMBLR.
Joke-Off: Superhero Pick-Up Lines
- HULK WANT FUCK YOU
- Not everything’s mutated, if you know what I’m sayin’
- Did it hurt–when I looked in your eyes and forgot I had laser vision and seared your corneas?
- Do you know how good it feels without a cape?
- I’ll bet you’re a Beast in the bedroom.
- When I kissed you, I saw fireworks. Or Jubilee. Either way.
- Do you know why they call me Iron Man? Hint: my dick
- When I’m done with you, you’ll be singing God Bless Captain America
- Maybe you should let my fist of fury invade your secret lair
- I would finger you, but I would disembowel you by accident so may be just fuck me
- Oh, you can conjure a storm? Well you’re conjuring a storm in my pants right now
- My weakness isn’t Kryptonite, it’s your ass
- Ever gotten a telepathic orgasm from a man in a wheelchair?
- It’s a bird, it’s plane, it’s me leaving your house the next morning!
- Sure I defeated Red Skull…twice today. Because that’s what I call masturbation.
- Can you leap over tall buildings in a single bound? Because you’ll need that ability to be on top
- Do you even know what I can do with ben-wa balls and my magnetism powers?
- Ever used a sex swing made of spiderwebs?
- I may be Batman, but you’re Robin my heart
- Do you wanna know how I got these scars? Oral.
- Mjolnir isn’t the only hammer I’ve got
- I’m really into BDSM–you’ll really like me when I get angry
- My name is War Machine, but the only war I fight is my love for you
- Have you ever been taken up against a wall? How about a wall 40 feet in the air?
- I’m Bruce Wayne.