You’re Taking Me To Frowntown While You’re Dealing With Browntown

03/25/2013 · 46 comments

in Dead Animals,How Did My Life Come To This,Sadist Vagina,What Is Wrong With You?

It should never be difficult to manage a public restroom. I notice that when I use the restroom in most people’s homes, it’s relatively clean and tidy. There is no pee on the floor, no one shit on the bathmat and left it there, no one gently laid their horrifyingly overtaxed maxipad on the counter for everyone to see.

Why, then, is using a public restroom an exercise in terror and disease?

Lock The Fucking Door, You Idiot

There’s a lock on every public restroom in the entire US. Use that shit–lock that door. If possibly you will require assistance later in your crotch-ventures, then your assistant should be posted right outside the door, serving as a human-toilet-lock. Locks could have prevented all of these terrible and still true past incidents:

  • Walking in on a woman furiously masturbating while peeing in a Dickey’s
  • Walking in on a very very old woman who was completely nude, feet up on her sit-walker, chatting with her husband WHO WAS RIGHT OUTSIDE AND DIDN’T INFORM ME OF THE SITUATION
  • Walking in on at least 7 couples going to town on each other
  • Walking in on every woman ever who didn’t want to use a lock, and gave me a dirty look when they left

I didn’t jimmie the lock, you sack of shit–this is all on you. I didn’t want to see you hover pissing while pulling your swimsuit to the side either. Locks are here for our convenience to keep others up out of our business. USE ‘EM.

If The Door Is Locked, Then Hold Your Fucking Piss-Horses

I have taken my precautions and locked the door, and now I’m gonna need you to cool your goddamn heels, Fraulein Pisstimer. I am peeing, not building ships in bottles. I am not in charge of the timeclock on this–I will have to wash my hands, and will probably take paper towels outside to dry my hands so that you can come in sooner. I will hurry, but I need this just as much as you do. If people would have waited like decent humans, these terrible and still true past incidents would not have occurred:

  • A woman shaking the door so hard at the airport that she broke the lock, and left the fucking door open so everyone could see me peeing
  • A cleaning woman slamming my ankles 91 times with the broom underneath the stall because she could not wait one minute for me to vacate the premises
  • A stranger (woman) jimmying the lock on a single-toilet public restroom while my cousin Lana was peeing, entering the restroom while making eye contact with Lana, locking the door behind her, waiting on Lana to finish while still maintaining eye contact, and then using the toilet while Lana washed her hands. WHY?

You have my permission to call time on me after 5 minutes, but if you come in before then, I will piss on everything you love.

Others Are Waiting, So Hurry Your Silly Ass Up

I heard your toilet flush. I heard you wash your hands. All of that occurred 5 minutes ago. Get the fuck out here, bitch, or I will go all John McClane on your ass and kick the door in for freedom. I know you want to ensure you have the perfect cat-eye before you meet up with the sad sack of a man you’ll blow tonight, but get some hustle in that step. If you would have kicked your speed up a notch, that would have prevented all of these terrible and yet still true incidents:

  • Every time I’ve seen someone puke on the floor because you are a narcissistic whore.
  • Every time a child pees their pants because you are a narcissistic whore.
  • Every time I use the far more disgusting mens room because you are a narcissistic whore.

Your time allotment has expired, and you are just gonna have to jump back on the train and try it again.

Back That Ass Down 

For the love of sweet Jesus Christ, plant your ass right ‘cher and do your business. You have an option of disposable toilet-seat covers, toilet paper, or bringing your own ass-condom with you if you cannot stomach skin-to-seat contact, so use one of them or get the fuck out of here. You don’t have the balance to hover–if you did, we wouldn’t be having this conversation. If you hadn’t gone all Princess and the Pee on us, it would have prevented the following terrible and yet still true incidents:

  • The time, once a month, where you see an entire log of shit just laying limply across the seat. Did you stand on the seat and hope for a bullseye?
  • The time, once a month, where you see a vile used tampon or heinous pad either on the floor, on the seat, or as I have seen more than a few times, hung or stuck to the door. Are you an animal marking her territory? Because I will rip your throat out with my teeth and declare myself the Alpha if you feel that’s the proper way to manage your uterine tears.
  • The time, once a day, where someone has just pissed on everything. We don’t have dicks, ladies, so how are you helicoptering your whizz so effectively? At this point, I’m just curious, because I’ve become numb to how much stranger urine I encounter.

As you may not yet be aware, you are not the only person in the world, and your gross, heinous, negative actions affect others grossly, heinously, and negatively.

Fuck. You.

I’m really afraid of the gates I’m opening here, but we’ve all seen this–what’s your grossest public restroom story?

Favorite Comment From The Last Post:
From Abby Has Issues: Vote for Abby Has Issues! She’s hilarious and has never made the list and saves abandoned unicorns who were rejected for dysfunctional sexual organs and shitting glitter! Wait…this comment will be published anonymously, right? Because otherwise, hee hee, vote for whoever you want! That would be RIDICULOUS to promote myself for validation!

{ 45 comments }

Headset Hellion March 25, 2013 at 5:02 am

Thank you so much for this! I had a “WTF” restroom experience at work yesterday, and I’m so glad that I’m not the only one who feels this way. Normally the ladies room on my floor is very clean, but yesterday? Not so much.

Some dirty bitch peed all over a toilet seat. We have disposable toilet seat covers, so there’s no need to hover in the first place. I spent the rest of the day wondering how the fuck that actually happened. When I say, “all over the seat,” I mean ALL OVER the seat: both sides, front to back. How? What was she doing?! Is there some kind of medical condition that causes your urine to spray in odd directions instead of straight down? I seriously need to know!
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Josh H D March 25, 2013 at 6:28 am

Jesus. Once a week someone threw up in the sink, only to keep using it afterwards so that it backed up to the brim. At which point I’d have to hand plunge a full sink of vomit while people continued to USE THE SINK AS I DID SO!

Or once a week having to clean up used pads off the floor…. DID I MENTION I AM A GAY MAN? I DON’T WANT TO SEE THIS SHIT YOU NASTY SHE BITCHES! I think I got 53% gayer after that experience.

Bring me back to my first pub meal at 13 and using the male bathroom at a pub in country Toowoomba, only to find shit on the walls, floor and toilet seat. If I hadn’t of had 6 weetbix that morning I might have just held it in… Unfortunately I had to perch precariously above the seat and just hope the poop went in the bowl and not on my shoes.

Mayor Gia March 25, 2013 at 6:47 am

OOof, ewwww. I once walked in on a woman who had her pants down in the middle of the bathroom (not the stall). Dunno what she was doing, but I turned around and walked right back out. NO THANK YOU.
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Valerie March 25, 2013 at 8:57 am

The office I work in has a bathroom like that of a truck stop rest room. At least once a day, someone takes a dumper and doesn’t even bother to flush. They just get up and walk away. And this one time, someone smeared feces all over the outside of the toilet. I think they might of written their name… I’m not sure tho. I didn’t stay long enough to investigate.

I hate people.

Hugs!

Valerie
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Alison March 25, 2013 at 9:01 am

In most of Asia the public restrooms have squat toilets. There are many stories I could tell about those… but what was really common was women not just leaving the stalls unlocked, but letting them swing open. And that coupled with a squat toilet will give you a very graphic look at a woman’s pissing crotch. It’s just… all out there. I never needed to see that once, much less the untold dozens of times it actually happened.
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nova March 25, 2013 at 9:06 am

My gym change room is also the change room for a swimming pool, and I guess the floor-cleaning method of choice is to spray everything down, power-wash style. Well last week the lifeguard forgot to check if anybody was in the stalls before hitting them with the hose. And I was in there. She only got my knees down but it actually really scared me!

Sarah March 25, 2013 at 9:35 am

There is one thing I cannot tolerate, and that’s strangers rattling the damn door and then telling me to hurry up. Guess what? I live in a house of men. I’ve learned how to get my business done in about 25 seconds, literally. I can even pee with you standing over me, trying to talk to me. I have to do it every day at home! I have no qualms, no stage fright. But, I will consider throat punching you if you are so freaking inconsiderate as to be pissy with me for taking 25 seconds in the bathroom, knocking and rattling the door the whole time.

Also? I’m going to try to figure out how to work ‘Fraulein Pisstimer’ into everyday conversation…
Sarah recently posted..Head-on

Bill G. March 26, 2013 at 8:01 pm

I was at my brother-in-law’s house for a family gathering. While I was sitting on the toidy, one of his brother’s sons kept knocking on the door. Seriously, like every 5-10 seconds. I kept yelling, “I’ll be out. Give me a minute here!” After about 8 times, I got up, yanked up my pants, opened the door, put my finger in his chest, and yelled in his face, “You knock on this door again and you’re going to eat that fucking Christmas wreath–with that iPod in your ass!!” The kid was 13 and had older sisters, so he knows better. Any of his sisters would’ve buried him in the garden and had a midnight funeral. Just then his big redneck of a father walks around the corner. I thought, “Oh shit, this is going to get ugly!” He didn’t give me a second look, took his son around the corner, and said, “You clearly don’t want to live long enough to drive, do you, boy?” Whoo!

I stepped back into the bathroom with my unwiped ass and finished my business. I was rattled but I’ve seen father and son at a lot of other family gatherings and they’re cool like nothing ever happened.

Emelie March 25, 2013 at 9:42 am

Wow. I don’t know if I’m disappointed or grateful that I’ve never endured any of these awful events. I mean, I’ve accidentally walked in on people, but you take the cake with these stories… Maybe you should just avoid public restrooms from now on…
Emelie recently posted..And Then a Thai Lady Got Sassy With Me on My First Night Kind Of Alone.

Jer March 25, 2013 at 9:45 am

I too, do NOT understand how a woman pisses ALL over the seat. Honestly, I’ve used men’s bathrooms that are cleaner.

bogo_lode March 25, 2013 at 11:21 am

I have some horror stories from my time as a janitor.

Among them, used sanitary products stuck to the ceiling, walls, or mirrors. Or if placed in the bin, not placed in the *open* trash bag inside. Multiple cases of someone managing to spraypaint the wall and toilet with brown. A number of times where (almost always in the women’s room) someone would clog the toilet and then subsequently people would continue using it so that there would be an immense pile of crap and toilet paper. Things written in menstrual fluids on various objects and surfaces. Random lipstick marks in… odd places (including several kiss marks on parts of the toilet).

The worst I ever had to deal with in the men’s room is a little pee on the floor or a clogged toilet. Somehow the women’s rooms were always worse.

Jen March 25, 2013 at 11:46 am

I once had to drag a drunk man out of a port-a-potty, wipe the Jager-puke out of his hair and figure out where in hell he left his pants. Ordinarily such Good Samaritan douchebaggery is not my milieu, but he WAS my husband after all.
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Homelesslady March 25, 2013 at 11:56 am

1) We hover so that we don’t sit in other peoples piss and nastiness.
Why then, do we not have a conscious about spreading our own piss and nastiness whilst hovering? I too have never understood this! Wipe the seat when you are done bitches. You know if you walked in the door and saw it that you would be pissed off!
2) Why ARE we confused by a locked door on a bathroom stall? WTH? This stall is locked! How can that be? I must rattle it until it comes open because there is no possible chance that someone might actually be using it!

You forgot to mention the little children who peek at you through the cracks of the stalls while their mother does nothing.

Dana the Biped March 25, 2013 at 12:44 pm

I used to work in a high-end old ladies’ clothing store. One day, at close, I noticed something odd on the floor of the very nice, well-lit fitting room.

Some rich old lady had pooped.
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Erin T. March 25, 2013 at 3:01 pm

Hover pissers are fucking assholes. If you think you’re going to catch a disease of the vag from using a public toilet – YOU’RE DOING IT WRONG! There is not one single goddamned way you’re going to get crotch rot from using a public toilet if USED CORRECTLY. If you’re that fucking worried about your lady garden getting bug infested, put some toilet paper down.

For Gods sake if you insist on hover pissing – fucking learn how to be still. It’s not Bozo Buckets, bitches. That shit should be right under your ass.

Bill G. March 25, 2013 at 9:57 pm

Straight up, I don’t get it. If a person is that worried about catching something, you’d think they’d bring their big purse and carry their own seat covers. How would they not see that horrid mess that they make? Or maybe they know and just don’t give a fuck. Goddamn that is horrid.

Heather Bush March 25, 2013 at 3:30 pm

I work in an auto parts store. One of my jobs is to make sure that our bathrooms are clean. Sigh. The ladies (well, I consider that my personal bathroom because we don’t get a lot of ladies there) that shit stays sparkly. The men’s? The best I go for at this point is to just make sure it doesn’t stink. We had a man the other night, he came in right before we closed, I had to wear what I would consider a haz-mat suit to clean that bitch. I wondered why he apologized before he left, I thought it was because he was short a nickel on the penetrating lube he bought – I guess I was wrong.
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jrock March 25, 2013 at 3:41 pm

Yes Yes YES!!!

I was once peeing in a restaurant bathroom that was one toilet and private, and had taken care to lock the door, when a woman shook it so vigorously while knocking that she barged in on me, sure she just wasn’t pushing hard enough despite my cries of “SOMEONE IS FUCKING IN HERE, GODDAMNIT!”
Then she was all “Oh, I’m sorry!” Like forcing your way through a locked door was a complete and tragic mistake on her part.

Johi Kokjohn-Wagner March 25, 2013 at 3:44 pm

This post. THIS IS WHY I DON’T LEAVE THE HOUSE.
Plus, where the hell are you seeing this? You don’t strike me as the type of lounge lizard that hangs out in truck stops. Why is this happening to you?

My worst PBR (Public Bathroom Revulsion) was in 1993 in a McDonald’s. I was naturally with my sister. I say “naturally” because my sister, apparently much like you, attracts disgusting excrement situations. I think it is her love of all things potty humor. Anyway, she slowly backed out of a stall and said, “Johi. You have to see this.” I don’t know WHY I looked. But I did. The sight of the wall, toilet, stall sides and floor spray painted in diarrhea is unfortunately burned into my brain FOREVER. There was a tiny, useless swipe where the offender tried to wipe it off. This bitch can’t remember anything useful, but mental picture of some unfortunate person’s wet poo paint with one little wiped off spot is there forever. FOREVER. I can even smell it, right this minute! (oh, that’s just Black Dog.)
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Bill G. March 25, 2013 at 9:52 pm

PBR-love it!! (I love the term, not the revulsion.)

jrock March 25, 2013 at 3:47 pm

Oh, one more for the road:

In India, they are used to squat toilets, but a few enterprising individuals have installed Western sit toilets in their establishments. So what do the Indians do? They squat on the seat! This is especially awesome when you have to pee real bad on a snowy day only to find dirty, slushy boot prints all over the seat.

Bill G. March 25, 2013 at 9:49 pm

Son-of-a-bitch, I’d be afraid of slipping off the seat during mid-squat and breaking my tailbone and/or pissing/shitting all over myself. How can this happen? Are they afraid that if they sit, they’ll wind up liking it and get all distraught at using the hole on their next shit-stop, or are they worried about bad karma or some shit? Some things defy explanation, I guess.

Dude needs to be punched, that’s for sure.

Mike! March 25, 2013 at 4:20 pm

There is a disturbingly high number of people where I work that talk on the phone while they’re taking a shit. The temptation to just start making obnoxious fart sounds is overwhelming. They deserve it.

PorkStar March 25, 2013 at 4:33 pm

I have heard the darkest rumors about women’s toilets. I always thought they were over exaggerated, because I thought, they certainly can’t top a man’s restroom when it comes to filthiness. Well, it seems that it’s grosser than I ever thought. Although every single man I see using a urinal farts right there, or while in the stall, or washing hands or getting in or out of the restroom, I have not seen a log warmily laying on a seat. The urine everywhere, we master that shit, but you ladies? Holy crap!

I pretty much have seen everything you describe but on a men’s restroom, except the monthly part and the shit laying on there… or the floor.

Gents, I think we have the upper hand on this one.
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Bill G. March 25, 2013 at 9:41 pm

I have to agree after reading this, and I find it surprising. For men, it’s universal that the bathroom is a free-farting zone. That includes washing hands and standing at the urinal while talking to somebody.

I’ve typically had kind of a pissy attitude about women having their bathroom cleaned more often than the men’s, smelling better, having nicer soap and more/better towels, and plush chairs (even though I’d never plop down and have a shoot-the-shit with a co-worker in the bathroom, that’s what the break room or picnic tables outside are for). But here and now, I take it all back.

I’ve never seen a log laying on a seat. I’ve seen piss puddles approx. the diameter of a CD maybe 5 times ever. I’ve seen piss droplets generously sprayed into a corner next to the urinal (I guess some dude couldn’t get his crank out and aimed quite in time), but I’ve never seen large puddles, free-roaming turds, or used paper on the floor. At my work, our secretary sent out an angry all-hands e-mail because somebody crapped-up the ladies room and high-tailed it without saying anything. The worst I’ve seen (and smelled) is somebody barf and completely cover all the toilet surfaces or miss entirely. I saw that like 3 times ever, and it was always a rest stop on a road trip.

I still remember the boys bathroom in the 5th grade where the unflushed toilet had diarrhea and they threw their unsalvageable underwear on it (probably explains the “unflushed” part of the equation). I can still see part of the tighty-whitey waistband sticking up out of the liquid shit with a baby blue “Hanes” printed on it, floating as serenely as a leaf on a calm lake. (It’s been 30 fucking years, will this image ever leave my head?)

The men have the win on this one. I would not have thought that before reading all this.

Jaclyn March 26, 2013 at 9:06 am

When I worked as a retail manager, I can’t even tell you how many times I got called to the bathrooms because someone shit all over the place. And I can’t think of even a SINGLE time when it was the mens room. There was more than one occasion when someone left their balled up, shit-covered underwear in a heap in a stall… there was the time a woman’s husband wouldn’t let me in the bathroom because his wife had shit her pants and was naked from the waist down while she washed out her underwear in our sink… and then there were all the times that involved someone’s period. Ugh. It was so fucking gross.
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Jaime March 25, 2013 at 7:35 pm

I have a serious distaste for public restrooms… but not from any horrid experience… at least, none that I can remember… or maybe it was just so heinous that I have blocked it from my memory. In any case, my biggest public bathroom pet peeve is people USING THE PHONE while in the public restroom… cuz yes.. my social pee anxiety was bad enough with possibly 5-6 other people in the room… now there is some stranger on the phone possibly hearing me pee? I just don’t need that shit.

Bill G. March 25, 2013 at 8:45 pm

I had a coworker answer his cellphone and carry on a conversation while I was in the stall right next to his. I started making loud farting noises, belching, then I finished and flushed 3 times. This fucker is talking the whole time like it’s nothing. What kills me is that he wasn’t explaining to the person on the other end why they’re hearing this shit, so this must be normal for them, too. That is some jacked-up shit there.

I’ve answered my cell phone on the can just long enough to tell my wife that I’d call her back in 5 minutes (I was in there alone), I can cut somebody a break on a 5 second conversation like that. I don’t understand the gabbers that just proceed like it’s normal. It’s like the people that play games on their cell phone at full volume. Show some decorum and mute that shit.

Anneliese March 25, 2013 at 8:23 pm

I worked at a sketchy hotel one year and granted, going into it I knew I was going to see some horrifying things as a housekeeper and yet… One day, an elderly couple left both twin beds with giant urine stains soaked through the mattress, and a drenched used Depends on the fucking bathroom floor, right NEXT to the empty garbage can. Literally two inches away from the garbage can, which is right next to the toilet and in plain sight. They didn’t even tip either! Even the IV drug addicts who left their used needles all over the room would at least leave me a $5 (and their rooms were usually spotless!).

L March 25, 2013 at 9:34 pm

Lord woman…where the hell do you go to the bathroom? LOL I’ve had a few bad experiences, but wow; you take the cake.
However I did once think I was taking a piss with a robot a few stalls down. I wasn’t a mom yet, so it took me a few mins to realize that the woman was using a breast pump. I was appalled. I wanted to ask her if she often made her meals in dirty public bathrooms. So fucking gross.

Another time I entered a stall at work and the toilet was literally full of blood and shit. It looked like someone tore their asshole open with a ginormous shit. WTF.
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Jen March 25, 2013 at 11:05 pm

My worst nightmare bathroom story took place at a rest area in France. Aside from all the walkways being solid ice and damn near killing myself trying to get to the bathroom without falling or peeing myself, I get to the door and it’s locked. So I wait for a minute doing the crazy “I’ve gotta take a piss” dance in the freezing cold and then this burly French trucker comes out. He stops, stares me straight in the eyes, and then walks away. That eye contact haunts me to this day. I walked into the bathroom and almost vomited. There was shit spray EVERYWHERE! The walls, the toilet, the floor, the toilet paper dispenser, the toilet paper, both sides of the toilet lid and the seat….everything was covered in shit and he hadn’t flushed either. I wish I could have walked away but I had to pee so badly that there was no waiting. Thankfully I had a toddler in diapers so I had a big pack of baby wipes and lots of hand sanitizer in my purse. I cleaned all that I could with the wipes, sanitized the seat, and then laid down about 57 layers of TP on the seat before going.

Tina March 26, 2013 at 6:50 am

Those are some serious nasty stories. Our employee only woman bathroom was also stalked by the serial shit-smearer on a regular basis. 40 woman, 3 stalls, and one very disgusting bitch. How disgusting to have to remind office staff to not leave crap smeared all over seat, flush handle, walls, floors, door. Exactly what the hell is someone doing in there to create this mess?

Nasty??? Roadside rest area potties. The ones that get cleaned once a week, maybe? I’d rather squat in the parking lot thanks. Finally got smart and bought “Freshette” and “GoGirl” for our road trips, standing to pee eliminates squating, hovering, TP seat covers, baby wipe facility sanitzation. Now I can run into the forest like the men and find my own tree (that’s why the guys one is cleaner, they just skip the potty altogether). Find them in Cabela’s, Mountain Equipment Co-Op.

Bill G. August 3, 2013 at 11:00 am

No doubt. As a guy, that’s my ticket: find a tree. In Wyoming, I can’t tell you how many times I’ve seen mothers let their boys out on the side of the road and piss right there. Yup, driving pass the piss-line-up is not all that unusual. Guess they couldn’t wait for mom to find an area with trees, bushes, or a gully off the side of the road.

Jaclyn March 26, 2013 at 8:57 am

I worked in retail for way too long, so I have all the horrible stories. I have to say though, your comment about the mens room being worse? Nope, not even close. The ladies are exponentially filthier. My personal favorite public restroom story though:

I was using the family restroom with my daughter, who had just started potty training. The door lock was broken, but we were in the fancy mall, and the bathroom opened up to the family lounge area, so I thought it would be okay. There was a regular sized toilet and a toddler sized one, so while I was mid-dump, Caitlyn decided to try out the kid toilet.

At this point in potty training, she insisted on being completely naked for any and all toilet-related activities, so there I was, unable to really do anything while she SAT ON A PUBLIC RESTROOM FLOOR AND STRIPPED DOWN COMPLETELY NAKED. Of course, that is when a man and his son walked in. When he saw we were in there, he simply decided to turn around and walk away, leaving the door wide open like a fucking asshole. So I had to get up mid shit to close the fucking door. And then another woman walked in 2 minutes later, but at least she had the common courtesy to CLOSE THE FUCKING DOOR BEHIND HER.
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Bill G. March 26, 2013 at 8:12 pm

That dude needs to be punched–about 30 times.

Doreen March 26, 2013 at 3:52 pm

Where the HELL do you people use the bathroom? I have never experienced ANY of these things. Maybe it’s a Minnesota thing, but I’ve traveled throughout Europe, used the squat pots in Asia, Landcruised the US and did some spring break time in Mexico and have NEVER experienced anything worse than a door-rattler, even in the filthiest riotous backwater bar (and I’ve been to a few). Maybe I’ve just been lucky but now you’ve given me a public bathroom phobia!

Lovelyn March 26, 2013 at 11:17 pm

I hate the women who pee on the seat. That is uncalled for. I just don’t understand. At least have the decency to clean up after yourself. Other than that I haven’t had any bathroom horror stories. I’ve been relatively lucky.
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Melonie March 27, 2013 at 10:14 am

Once in college, there was a horrible accident in the women’s restroom that involved diarrhea everywhere. I mean everywhere. I felt so bad for Clarence, the janitor who had to go clean it up. After an initial look at the damage, he came out and on his way to get cleaning supplies stated, “I understand the stuff on and around the toilet. I kinda get the stuff on the wall behind the toilet. But damn, how you get that up on the ceiling? Somebody needs to see a doctor, because that’s gotta be some kinda medical condition.”
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Bill G. March 27, 2013 at 7:59 pm

Outrageous. That projectile shit puts projectile vomit to shame. Whatever they were paying that dude, double is not enough.

Suzy Marie March 27, 2013 at 12:33 pm

My friends housemate shits on the toilet seat ALL THE TIME. Which is a million times worse than a public toilet incident because a) why do you need to hover in your own damn house b) other people live there and you are knowingly, willingly leaving your shit on the seat. So fucking wrong.
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orsomejunk March 28, 2013 at 2:47 am

What ninth ring of Hell bathrooms are you using? Besides some pee on the seat or an un-flushed poo or two, I have never seen anything like this in a ladies room. You need to learn to pee standing up and/or stay out of these punk rock clubs you’re frequenting.

Bill G. March 29, 2013 at 12:10 pm

This probably explains why women are uptight about the condition of the bathroom at home. If I had to deal with this kind of shit at work and in the general public, I’d be a hardass about home bathroom cleanliness, too.

Buttons March 30, 2013 at 4:45 pm

I used to work at Barnes and Noble, and the people working the info desk rotate through two hour blocks of restroom duty. Normally, that meant going in to check the bathroom once per hour, refilling toilet paper, seat covers, and paper towels as necessary, and maybe sweeping up the floor of towels that missed the trash and wiping down the counter. We had women come up all the time like, “That bathroom is such a mess, it is horrible in there!” Only to go in and find maybe a piece of toilet paper on the floor or the counter a little splashed on. So one day, when a little old lady came and told me that the bathroom looked like it could use a little attention, I went in, broom in hand, expecting to have to sweep up some toilet paper that missed or something. I was not expecting to be hit with the wall of foul smell, which upon further investigation came from the center stall which was COVERED in crap! The entire toilet, seat and base and handles, the walls, the floor, even the door. I promptly closed the door and locked it from the outside because I did not get paid enough to deal with that. How does that even happen? It was a poosplosion! It haunts me to this day.
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Anonymous August 2, 2013 at 5:42 pm

I love to disseminate information that I’ve accumulated with the yr to help enhance group efficiency.

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