Thank you Jen, Queen of The Joke-Offs and of Portland, for this suggestion.
Put your submissions into the comments. Winner of the Throwdown tomorrow wins a nonsense gif, of which I have hundreds and hundreds (which correlates to the amount of time I have do to weird shit like this)!
Joke-Off: Rejected Girl Scout Cookie Names
- Illuminati Chow
- Indoctrination Snappers
- Prepping For A Mary Kay Life
- The Devil’s Treats
- We Could Put Crusted Scabs In These And You Wouldn’t Even Care
- This Is Basically Child Drug Muling!
- Dr. Oz Will Tell You Not To Eat These Soon
- Fuck Your Insulin
- You’ve Waited Longer For These Than For Sex On Your Last Date
- Boy Scouts Sell Popcorn And No One Cares
- Heroin
- You’ve Tried To Fuck A Samoa
- Now Who Has The Cookies In The Van?
- Better Than The Hemsworths
- We Could Sell These All Year, But The CEO Gets Off On Your Pain
- McRib Flavor: Now You’re Fucked
- This Is Delicious Child Labor
- Fundraiser Bar-Setter: Fuck Your Gift Wrap
- You Came
- Tucker Max Of Snack Foods
- You Lie To Your Children About Having Me
- There’s Porn About These
–
Favorite Comment From The Last Post: From LisaR @ Who Stole My Baby?: You can get drunk at Disneyland, and no one will judge. And the Pocahontas show is way more entertaining with alcohol than with kids.
{ 17 comments… read them below or add one }
If Love & Sex Were A Cookie.
Put These In The Freezer When You Are Sad
Eat With Coffee
Junk Your Body Needs (Because Your Brain Said So)
Kristi recently posted..Princesses and Tonka Trucks- the GP series on TRM
DateRape-si-Dos!
Mayor Gia recently posted..Popcorn Update
Yes, these DO make your butt look fat.
Crack cocaine never tasted so delicious.
You’ll pay whatever we want and LIKE IT.
Better than sex. Like you would know what that is.
Buy a couple boxes just so those cute pixie parasites will leave you be in front of Walmart!!
Misty recently posted..The Big Reveal
Waiting for Samoas: The Real Hunger Games
Thin Mints (in a tampon box, to hide them better)
nadine recently posted..Traumatizing your kid, one car trip at a time.
Crack-onades
Thin No Mores
FatA**-Alongs
Do-Si-Do-Mes
Orgasm Bites
‘Merica cookies
We Delight in your Shame
Drug Smugglers Don’t Make Half as Much!
Laura recently posted..Kids are fun- for short periods of time
Butter and sugar, all you need to know.
Fat Mints
This is porn for your mouth. You’re welcome.
Globs of whatever, just put it in your face.
Don’t pretend it matters.
Fulpf Mllrr Bulxes Plllz!
*Pecan Sanduskys
*Whore-e-Ohs
*Bukakkookies
*Islamic Funda-mint-alists
*Thin Minti Te’os (when you open the box, the cookies were never really there)
Jen recently posted..Stupidest Crap Ever Spoken: Meet my Son, J.
Desperation Drops
Thorazine Tassies
Don’t Tell Your Daddy Thin Mints
Coping Cookies
Don’t Judge Me Butterscotch Bites
Molly Dugger Brennan recently posted..It All Starts With Hello
“Titty Treats”, just look at the shape of the samoas!
For 6 bucks, I could buy ACTUAL drugs and be thinner.
Diabeetus
Get your own box, you damn vultures!
Guilt Grenades
Trefoil-my-diet-s
Tagalong-to-my-hips
Sa-mo’-o’-this-in-my-moutha
PinotNinja recently posted..Never Acknowledge Your Co-Workers in Public
If you had my problems, you’d be a thin-mints junkie, too.
Just try some, trust me. (This time next year, you’ll be selling your ass on 23rd street for a box.)
* BUTT-erscotch Teat Treats
* Dulce la Familia
* Savannah Perma-Grin
* China White
* Mango Cremes with Nutri-Guilt and Tangy Addiction