It all started with this piece of shit photo.
I posted it on Facebook a few days ago with the caption, “Fuck your shitty generalizations of women,” and it quickly devolved into both a feminist rant and a fantastic mini-joke-off about what’s actually inside every confident woman, because fuck fragile princesses who wait for men named Mr. Big to sweep them off their privileged feet. We’re funny, and we don’t need any saving.
Add your ideas to the comments and you’re entered to win a nonsense GIF of my choice!
Joke-Off: Inside Every Confident Woman Is…
- Bill Clinton
- A large amount of Cookie Dough
- The lives of many D-cell batteries
- A crush on Helen Mirren
- Every argument that never happened
- Jem and/or The Holograms
- A wish for Robert Downey Jr.
- 14 Tacos
- A love for Michael Bolton that few will acknowledge
- A snarky comment about what that bitch is wearing
- The knowledge of how to kill all of the Sims in the most hilarious ways
- The will to procrastinate
- A rage for Pinterest tutorials
- Questions about labias
- Judgment for those who vajazzle
- Longing for Amy Poehler’s attitude
- A memory of every time she’s ever queefed
- Suppressed rage at humanity
- Disdain for Sex and the City
- A fart