I spend a lot of time alone, and I spend an even longer time being very strange. To help ease the crushing loneliness and pits of strange, I play these.
You can play this in any crowded place where you happen to be behind other people (elevators, hallways, reception areas). Without making any noise, make the weirdest faces you can at the back of their heads. Don’t stop until you can’t see them anymore. In all the years I’ve played this, no one has ever turned around, but thousands of security guards have been entertained.
Who’s Currently Farting?
The whole world is filled with farts, and everywhere you go, at least 2 people are farting. There are hundreds of different tells–figure out who it is, and when you do…leave that place immediately.
Also, the answer is usually my husband.
Everything Is A Ballad
Sing every song on the radio as though Celine Dion and/or Michael Bolton sang it. Commit to the voice, and sing as loud as you possibly can. It sincerely improves Nickelback, and my God, you’ve never heard Rage Against The Machine until Michael Bolton is Killing In The Name Of.
I Am The Motherfucking Princess
Especially fun to play at the mall. You’re the princess–you own everything at this store. Be that princess. Walk like one, look at all your fancy shit like one, and treat all the employees like one (a Kate Middleton princess, not a terrible bitch princess), but tell no one who you are. You are incognito, and you are so fucking awesome. Instant mood-booster.
Quick–you and everyone in the room have immediately become participants in a ceremony, the finale of which is a sacrifice. Pick out that person in your head. Think about this one, because you’re going to need a really solid sacrifice to complete the ceremony.
After writing these out, I need to go back to therapy. I have some goddamn problems.
What games do you play when you’re alone?– Favorite Comment From The Last Post: From Dana The Biped: You know, I’ve always wondered about the whole smut fiction/nobody ever gets their period thing myself. You never see romantic heroines batting their dude’s hands away about halfway through foreplay, all “YOU SHALL NOT PASS.”