Every Wednesday, I start a Joke-Off about a topic I make up (or one you guys suggest). On Thursday, we all vote on who’s the funniest bitch of the week based on these submissions. If you want to play, just add in your submission in the comments!
I’ve been watching a lot of Bridezillas lately because I hate myself and also have a lot of spare time, and damn, do these bitches have some shitty weddings. Not because they’re often on the cheap or because these people are terrible, but because they ‘theme’ them. My favorite so far? “Bros and Hos.”
WHAT.
We can do better than that.
Joke-Off: Wedding Themes For Terrible Weddings
- A Tornado Of Love
- Cats Not Babies
- Justifiable Murder
- The Seinfeld Wedding That Never Was
- If We Won The Alamo
- Amputees and Hos
- Enema-gtic and Mysterious
- Old Hollywood Corruption
- Disney’s Rampant Misogyny
- Fertility Forever
- The Collected Works Of Stephen King
- Racism
- A Tribute To The WNBA
- Tour De Alabama
- Teeth
- Auschwitz Under The Stars
- Amish You When You’re Not Around
- Torture And Tiaras
- Penguins and Mountain Lions
- Birds Of Prey
- The Stars of Food Network
- Celibacy: Not Just Before Marriage
- Growing Pains And Growing Hearts
- A Night Under Anesthesia
- The Dark Ages
- Popes And Bitches
- Stop Stalin My Heart
- Love In The Time Of Syphilis
- Gang Bangin On The Lock Of My Heart
- Haters Gonna Fall In Love
- Just Like Bigge an Tupac
- Crusty Things
- Cash Bar, Open Hearts
- Mary Kay
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Apocalypse Now (the pastor would be Kurtz)
Twilight: A Celebration of Timeless Romance
Diners, Drive-Ins and a Dive Wedding Venue
Winopants recently posted..Reviewer Card Holder Brad Newman, Yelp Gansta’
Lord of the Bling: Orcs x Elves
Bronie Bromance
Night on the Titanic: Unsinkable Love
SarcasticNinja recently posted..Europe Overcome by Bull
Pimps and hoes
Dead fetuses in jars (surrounded by Xmas lights to make it whimsical)
Blue waffle
Magnum PI
HUGS!
Valerie
Valerie recently posted..Can you say MANNEQUIN ARM GIVEAWAY?!?! I sure bet you can!!!
The Donner Party!
Mayor Gia recently posted..I Never Should Have Went into Five Below
Massive Head Injuries
Taxidermy and Flea Collars
Smallpox and Scurvy
Ceramic cat collections
Hoarders! Wedding edition.
Presidential Election
Johi recently posted..Chapter 2: Parenting without safety devices and improper use of puppets
I Didn’t Know I Was Pregnant
Contagion (all party guests are quarantined at venue for 72 hours)
Kamm-on-u-wanna-lei-me luau
Manti Te’o (everyone brings an imaginary guest)
Jen recently posted..Seacrest, Out.
Honey-Boo-Boo Re-enactment wedding
Iraq inspired IED wedding (some of the chairs will be wired for an explosive time)
ColinP recently posted..Requiescat in Pace Tony Scott (06/21/1944 – 08/19/2012)
Mason Jars and Weeds
Love in the A-Bomb Bunker
Third Time’s the Charm (starring Lucky Charms)
Dana the Biped recently posted..It’s My Two Hundred and Onest Post!
Doomsday Preppers (that’s not champagne you’re drinking)
Bridesmaid cagematch to the death
Guess How Far Along the Bride Is!
Survivor Island (the wedding party gets voted off one by one)
Misty recently posted..Convos with the Kiddos: Part Eight
Spice Girls: If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends (even the fat one)
Hello Kitty (Goodbye Hubby)
Cowboys and Indians
One Night in Paris (Hilton)
HeatherRose recently posted..Dexter comes home
Limos and jeeps
Shopping mall ho down
Getting married at the Wal-Mart then couple weeks later same isle giving birth
Lazy wedding, your guests bring their own decorations with no color coordinance and make it as festive as possible.
Zombie apocalypse everyone dresses as their favorite zombie horde circa resident evil and zombieland or maybe even that scary bath salts kind
lilscorpiosweetie recently posted..Stupidness of Walmart and texting
Death of a Fun Guy
Cops n robbers
I am your digestive tract.
True story. I work with wedding/party crap and one of the hottest trends in the South? John Deere weddings. Not showers, but weddings.
Carry on.
Abby recently posted..It’s the Little Things
Y.O.L.O but you can get married as many times as you want
Our Big PHAT Glee wedding
Balls and Chains
BLT (black tie, lingerie, or toga attire only please)
A Mayan Wedding (this is the end of the world)
‘Merica
Lady Gaga Pokerface “promises promises. Check this hand cause I’m marvelous”
Black Face Minstrel Wedding – hosting this may or may not be a hate crime.
Twitter Stalker Wedding- A message from the bride: “It’s how we met!”
Law and Order: Special Victims Unit.
liz rosema (@liz_rosema) recently posted..Pajamas With Fox Feet.
Enema-gtic and Mysterious for the win.
They’re going to be some shitty joke. Just saying.
Confederacy calling
Charlie Sheen tiger blood
Cave Men
Texas Chainsaw Massacre 3D
Celebrity Mugshot
Clue (because dead guest is SO #hot right now)
Serial Killers of Yore
Maybe I should stop this, I seem to be on a death and/or mayhem streak and I’m afraid for myself right now…. :/
Pimp my ride
Pimps & hoes
Kissing cousins
Toddlers and tiaras
Fight club (every wedding guest is required to fistfight with another guest)
80s sitcoms
Cougars and gigolos
Getting drunk on Grape Pucker or Aftershock (always results in a barf-o-rama)
Hollywood and music stars that blew it all on drugs
Homeless or living in Mississippi (according to my sister, you can’t tell the difference)
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