Every Wednesday, I start a Joke-Off about a topic I make up (or one you guys suggest). On Thursday, we all vote on who’s the funniest bitch of the week based on these submissions. If you want to play, just add in your submission in the comments!
One time, I bought a home pregnancy test at Walgreens, and the cashier asked me, “Is this a good thing or a bad thing?” To which I responded, “Well, I guess I’ll roll the dice and see.”
Not a great answer to her, I now understand thanks to the shocked and appalled looks from everyone around us. but at least the test was pretty clear. But…what if they weren’t?
Joke-Off: Unfortunate Answers From A
Home Pregnancy Test
- Was that a queef I heard?
- Asparagus, eh?
- Kanye? Really?
- I hope you like neon colors and all your shit ruined
- I’m bigger than he was. Want to pass that gene on?
- Girl, trim that shit up
- That belly tattoo was cute
- Heads up: I’m pretty drunk right now
- I’m just an intern–I can try to help, but no guarantees, okay?
- Now you’ll be the crazy cat lady and also a baby!
- Did you know Trojan and EPT are totally in bed together?
- There uh, may or may not be a smell situation going on down there
- I’ll bet you thought that clit piercing was a great idea
- Cherry…Cherry…OH MAN LEMON.
- Vegas wasn’t that fun
- Tax Break
- Jesus isn’t happy
- Kirk Cameron isn’t happy
- You don’t know fear yet.
- Upload to Facebook?
- In good news, now you’ll have great tits
- One glass of champagne and you’ll get fertilized by anyone, won’t you?
- Did you know chickens lay eggs out of the same hole they poop from? Be glad you at least don’t have to do that.
- This is gonna be so great to hold over your sister’s head
- It’s already an ugly baby
- OH MAN YOU’RE GONNA GET SO FAT
- BAC: .81
—Favorite Comment From The Last Post: From April: “Well, I WAS dreading the annual New Year’s Eve party full of all my married and happily committed friends but NOT ANYMORE! As one of the few single girls in the crowd, I’m going to scream “YOU LIAR” and take a swig anytime someone uses one of the above words and then refuse to explain myself. I love drinking games, don’t you?”