Joke-Off: The Inevitable Decline Of Reality TV

01/16/2013 · 25 comments

in Joke Off

Every Wednesday, I start a Joke-Off about a topic I make up (or one you guys suggest). On Thursday, we all vote on who’s the funniest bitch of the week based on these submissions. If you want to play, just add in your submission in the comments!

I was sick this week, and being down on the couch meant days watching shitty reality television marathons. I’ve now worked my way through Dance Moms (HOLY SHIT) and Bridezillas (WHAAAAT) and then I tried Toddlers and Tiaras again and realized that after Dance Moms and Bridezillas, you can’t go back to TnT. It’s like taking heroin and trying to go back to just weed–it’s not the same, and you can’t pretend like it is.

But we all know this isn’t the worst that’s going to come in the reality show lineup. There will be much, much worse.

Joke-Off: The Inevitable Decline Of Reality TV

  • The Official Honey Boo-Boo Porn Parody
  • Dance Mom’s Divorce Court
  • The People’s Custody Hearing
  • It Ain’t Yo Baby
  • Fat Ugly People Dancing For Your Amusement
  • I’m A Racist, Get Me Outta Here! Portland Edition
  • Cat Skeleton Or 45 Coupons: Hoarder House Sweep!
  • Intervention: Someone’s Wrong On The Internet
  • Munchausen’s or Cancer?
  • Preg-zillas
  • Are You Smarter Than This Redneck? Probably
  • You’re Not Better Than Me: Motherhood Edition
  • Rednecks Fighting Gators With Catfish
  • America’s Got Low Science Education Aptitude
  • How Much Money To Show Your Tits?
  • Everyone Has A Price: Gross Food Edition
  • Survivor: Park Slope Playgroup
  • America’s Next Top Model (YA BURNT, TYRA?)
  • Hoarder Money Challenge: We Add Up Your Hoard, You Win $$
  • We Tried: Renovation Disasters
  • World’s Dumbest Parents
  • America’s Funniest Home Sex Tapes
  • Fat People Falling On Treadmills To Benny Hill
  • If You’re Stupid And You Know It You’re On TV
  • Conspiracy Theory Idol
  • Did You Cheat On Me?
  • Mompetition: The Mommening
  • Entitlement: Is Anything Your Fault?
  • Entitlement: Do You Deserve This?
  • American Debt Warrior: Overdraft Fee Challenge
  • So You Think You Have Low Standards?

I’m not comfortable with how easy this one was for me to do. I need help.

Favorite Comment From The Last Post:
From Haley: “Sometimes you just have to accept that the one time that the door won’t lock, someone is going to catch you with your pants around your knees while you waddle across a single room gas station bathroom in search of toilet paper.” 
Zane January 16, 2013 at 1:53 am

Would you believe me if I told you that the porn parody of Honey Boo-Boo is already totally a thing.
Well, not a film yet, but there’s a picture of her mother pulling that face sh does when she’s thinking about coupons getting done by some guy…

I think everyone who read that just became asexual. I certainly did seeing it.

Bill G. June 13, 2013 at 3:49 pm

Oh dear god. If anybody sends me that link in an e-mail, I’m not opening it. If I somehow accidentally see it, I’m going to have to rinse my eyes with bleach. The chance of going blind won’t be the worst thing by a long shot.

Mayor Gia January 16, 2013 at 6:37 am

Herpes: Who Gave That Shit to Me?
Mayor Gia recently posted..Looper: A Review

Brea January 16, 2013 at 8:16 am

Meat Curtains: Life as a Porn Star’s Vagina

Scrubs: Bathing Obscenely Overweight People

Name That Venereal Disease!

Al Quaeda’s Next Top Bomber
Brea recently posted..Sayonara, Teeth!

Jen January 16, 2013 at 8:28 am

*America’s Funniest Baseballs to the Crotch

*Are You Smarter than Jenny McCarthy? (SPOILER ALERT: the answer is yes)

*”You’ve Gotta Be Fucking Kidding Me” — pictures of gas prices across the US
Jen recently posted..I’m Good Enough, I’m Smart Enough, and ‘Doggone it!’ People LIKE me!

Janene January 16, 2013 at 10:03 am

Hell with gas prices across the US – try gas prices across Canada where the gas is sold by the litre …. that’s 3.something litres to every gallon…. this morning, gas was $1.218/litre. You do the math.

Marina January 16, 2013 at 9:08 am

The Chef Jeff Project: Pancakes & Parolees

Axe Men: Bathing is for Tools

Ridonkulousness

Deadliest Catch: STD Edition

Little World, Big People

Janene January 16, 2013 at 10:06 am

Domestic duties: life of an average housewife. Now filmed with hand-held camcorders!

Life of a toddler from the view of their ass

Cheryl S. January 16, 2013 at 10:26 am

Mommy Wars: Work v. Stay at home mom cage match
Stupid People Tricks
The Bachelorette starring Taylor Swift– I need material for my new album!

Jess January 16, 2013 at 11:43 am

Life After Jersey Shore
Extreme Home Makeover – Hobo Edition
Moonshiners Looking for Their Teeth

winopants January 16, 2013 at 11:59 am

Suvivor: Antarctica
39 Kids and Counting
Real Housewives of Salt Lake City
winopants recently posted..Things That Go Bump, Hump, and MURR in the Dark, Plus the Rest of the Napa Getaway

Sarah January 16, 2013 at 12:11 pm

Oh, I would totally watch several of those. Especially Preg-zillas. And the Playgroup-Survivor one. And I’ve never watched the real Survivor.
Sarah recently posted..Vignettes: Awkward

Beth January 16, 2013 at 12:24 pm

-Worker Bees – Following corporate drones as they go through their typical work day
-Inbred – Tales of the daddy-brothers
-Say Yes to Your Mother – Watching children actually behave
Beth recently posted..Oh Just STFU

Dana the Biped January 16, 2013 at 12:54 pm

Exercise Ball Knockouts
Cutting the Apron Strings: My Adult Child Needs to Move Out!
Survivor: Black Friday
Dana the Biped recently posted..Sometimes, I Think I’m the Only Pineapple in This Fruitbasket.

Roxie January 16, 2013 at 1:20 pm

The way it all ready is.

alicia January 16, 2013 at 1:55 pm

Ooops I left my flat iron on.

How many water bottles are in the PT Cruiser?

People who gag when brushing their tongue.

Organizing the DVD collection.

Anna January 16, 2013 at 2:23 pm

My jobby job is in reality TV. I’m totally going to pitch these ideas. Here are mine:

* Baby Eaters From Outer Space
* Identify The Celebrity Turd
* Pimps – A Day In The Life
* Azz N Titties
* Southern Baptist Preachers Turned Gay
* I Woke Up Gay
* Alien Animal Abductions
* Binge, Puke or Starve!
* Beverly Hills Shaman

Anna January 16, 2013 at 2:33 pm

* Baby Eaters From Outer Space
* Pimps – A Day In The Life
* Azz N Titties
* Beverly Hills Shaman
* Alien Animal Abductions
* Identify That Celebrity’s Turd
* Binge, Fast or Starve!
* The Poonanny Parlor
* I Woke Up Gay!
* Southern Baptist Preachers Turned Gay
* Docu-series: Presidential Penises
* Psychedelic Anorexic Cults

Jay January 16, 2013 at 5:24 pm

“I Woke Up Gay” has already been shown in the UK.
Horrifyingly.

Anna Caswell January 16, 2013 at 3:03 pm

Fifty Shades of Gay: ‘Gurrrl?!? Whatchoo readin?’
Hipster Island: you’ve probably never heard of it.
Deadliest Snatch: bad kitty edition
Breaking Momish: formula v breast

Jen January 16, 2013 at 3:09 pm

Pfft! I used to go to Hipster Island, but it’s gotten totally mainstream, bro.
Jen recently posted..I "Heart" you, Portland

Bill G. January 16, 2013 at 8:47 pm

I’m Doing Your Mom and Your Family is OK With It
Cross-Dressing Dads That Dance Their Asses Off
Bank-Robbing Daughters
Intervention: Foreign Exchange Student Edition
Demolition Derby Girls
Carload of Farts: Building a Car That Runs On It
I Can Smell a Lie Like a Fart In a Car
Men Who Dress Like Queen Victoria
Beer Sluts and the Women Who Love Them
Snorkeling the Everglades
Beverly Hills Rednecks
Dads That Can’t Give Up World of Warcraft
Courting My Sister: Virginia Is For Lovers

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Bill G. June 13, 2013 at 3:50 pm

Can You Fart Harder Than a 5th Grader?

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