Funny Bitch Friday: Colin Nissan

01/04/2013 · 10 comments

in Funny Bitch Friday

Colin Nissan is a writer I’d like to be one day. He’s talented. He’s funny. He’s published–in The New Yorker, for fuck’s sake.

Perhaps me saying, “For fuck’s sake,” so much could have something to do with my not being published there. Notes for later.

Nissan reads effortlessly funny–there aren’t schlocky jokes or “NOT,” or other assorted bullshit–just refreshing writing from a talented, funny person. You’re going to love him.

This Is The Year!

Haunted Hotel Ghosts Recount Their Most Disturbing Guest Stories

A Step-By-Step Guide To Building A Tiny Fucking Ship In A Tiny Fucking Bottle

An Automated Conference Call Moderator Gets Real

We Are The Family In The Photo That Came With Your New Picture Frame


My personal favorite:

The Ultimate Guide To Writing Better Than You Normally Do


This Week’s Thursday Throwdown Winner Is:

From (you guessed it) JEN: “Nope, you’re just fat.” Jen, you win my everlasting love, firstborn, and also this:


Mayor Gia January 4, 2013 at 6:51 am

Hahahah that is a PERFECT response for the pregnancy test. Bravo!
Mayor Gia recently posted..Christmas Present Corks

Johi January 4, 2013 at 9:00 am

I. LURVE. Colin Nissan. It all started with a post on Timothy McSweeney about autumn. Look it up. It’s beautiful. I believe it is called “It’s motherfucking fall.” Or something with ‘gourd’ in the title. I’d look it up but I’m busy finding my muse.

Johi January 4, 2013 at 9:02 am

Oh, and once again, I bow to Jen and her comedic genius.
Johi recently posted..New Year, Old Blog, Older Me, New Focus

Jen January 4, 2013 at 11:03 am

Best. Article. Ever. I send it to everyone I know on the first day of fall.
Jen recently posted..Stupidest Crap Ever Spoken: The New Year’s Eve Edition

bschooled January 4, 2013 at 2:44 pm

It’s called “It’s Decorative Gourd Season, Motherfuckers.”-

It’s my feel-good piece.

I love him too. He’s the reason I spent a year busting my as to get published in McSweeney’s instead of focusing on getting a paying gig. I pretty much stalk him on a bi-monthly basis.
bschooled recently posted..Last Minute Christmas Gift Ideas For Singles

Jen January 4, 2013 at 11:07 am

Noa, I will take your everlasting love and ghetto owl but you can keep your firstborn. I don’t spend this much time and money on quality birth control to have more needy little people drooling on my leg and demanding food and money.
Jen recently posted..Stupidest Crap Ever Spoken: The New Year’s Eve Edition

Misty January 4, 2013 at 2:08 pm

Two snaps up to Jen! Pretty sure that’s what the owl would say if it had fingers to snap.
Misty recently posted..I Want to Pump . . . You Up!!

winopants January 4, 2013 at 3:11 pm

I wants to writes good like Colin someday!
winopants recently posted..(Un)Romancing the Butt, New Year’s Style

Dana the Biped January 4, 2013 at 3:54 pm

Dude. A pinata at a birthday in a mental hospital is the perfect description of my brain. I hope one day to be called “harmless” instead of “helpless,” “hapless,” or plain ol’ “hopeless.”

I set my goals high.
Dana the Biped recently posted..Watch This! 18 to Life

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