I once cracked a rib laughing while trying to convince a woman that her house was haunted by hand jobs.
I was a ghost hunter for a while not too long ago, and it was every bit as weird and awesome as you’d think. I encountered things that I am still trying to explain. I’ve seen the full body of a man appear and then disappear right before my eyes. I once felt someone’s hands resting on my shoulders while the only other person in the room stood in front of me. I once heard the recorded sounds of two people fucking when we know no one was in the room during the recording. That one…that one still gets me.
Part of my job in this particular organization was to field calls and questions from prospective clients who needed an investigation. Sometimes the calls required legitimate investigations–the clients would have activity we couldn’t easily explain based on past encounters.
However, nine out of ten of these calls was an easy explanation and a thank you very much, please call if you need help again. You aren’t possessed, but please call this psychologist. You aren’t haunted, you just live under 12 power lines. Demons aren’t stealing your roast, but your dog probably is. Harmless calls fielding only reassurance and explanation.
Most were concerning. This one was magnificent.
“You see, my husband and I were in bed, and I heard a pop, and then a white, waxy substance landed on my face and hands.”
“Oh, okay. Did you have a candle lit? Sometimes the flames can pop wax around.”
“I did not have any candles, only my bedside lamp. The substance was also on my lamp and a picture frame.”
“…alright. Did you have any lotion nearby? Maybe some food? Anything else that the white substance could have come from?”
“That’s strange. Was your husband awake for all of this? What did he see?”
“He was laying in bed under the covers right next to me. He was just as mystified as I was.”
It was here that I had to mute the call and scream with laughter. I’ll bet he was goddamn mystified as to how it got from under the covers onto her face and hands. Also–the lamp? Good aim, sir.
“Could it be ectoplasm, do you think? I’ve done a lot of research that says it might be that,” She asked.
“No ma’am, I don’t believe it was ectoplasm. I…uh…I think this might have a natural explanation. It’s pretty rare that spirits would or even could do such a thing, especially if you did not already have a white, waxy substance anywhere near you. And your husband, what does he say about all of this?”
“He thinks it’s pretty strange, but he’s been pretty quiet about it.”
I’ll bet he was.
I told her I’d pass this on, and we’d either be able to provide an explanation or investigate if need be. I sent over the transcript and my notes to my superior, who responded with just this.
Ever had a supernatural experience, or had to try to convince someone else that theirs was…not real?– Favorite Comment From The Last Post: From Mayor Gia: “The lack of standardization with black belts is crazy. I used to think a black belt in martial arts always meant some crazy intense thing. Then I saw a ten year old get one. Oh. Nevermind.”