Adrian offered to help me with the laundry this week.
Noa: So, if you could pull the clothes out of the dryer and just take them to the couch, that would help me a lot–HEY.
Adrian: *Shuts me in the Laundry Closet, with the lights off.*
Noa: Goddamnit, Adrian. It smells weird in here.
Adrian: Quiet, Anne. The Nazis will hear you.
Noa: Wait, what?
Adrian: Anne Frank, you have to be quiet if you want to stay in this house. Stop asking dumb questions and get to writing.
Noa: Are you seriously going to role play Anne Frank and the Nazis with me right now?
Noa: It is most certainly not Hammer Time. It is letting me out of the closet time.
Adrian: But if I let you out, I either get to have a passionate, star-crossed love affair with you or I have to take you away.
Noa: Remember how you’re Jewish, and this is probably horrible?
Adrian: …we can play Jesus and Mary Magdalene and the cave, if it would make you feel less sacriligous.
Noa: It wouldn’t.
Adrian: We could play hide the Shroud of Turin…
Noa: I hate you so much.
Later, I made him something nice.
Noa: So it’s called salt dough, and I learned about it on Pinterest. This one bitch made an impression of her house key, so I thought we could do that for your cars so when we sell them, you can still remember your babies later on. I also decided to make pawprint casts for the cats and for the dog, since I had extra.
Adrian: That’s nice, thank you. Did you have any left over after all this?
Noa: A bit.
Adrian: What if we made a cast of our thumbprints or something like that…wait…is that a dick and balls?
Noa: That’s what I made out of the leftover salt dough.
Adrian: Still, why?
Noa: Why not? I’m going to put it in my office.
Adrian: Why does it have veins?
Noa: It’s also been circumcised.
Adrian: Noticed that, thank you. Again, WHY THE FUCK DO WE HAVE A WELL SCULPTED CLAY DICK DRYING ON OUR COUNTER?
Toby The Cat: *Walks up, sniffs it, and begins to lick it furiously.*
Noa: It’s a pussy eating a dick.
Adrian: I hate you so much.
Had a weird conversation lately? A craft or chore gone awry, much to the amusement of others?– Favorite Comment From The Last Post: From Brandon S: “I was going to go take a shower. Then I watched sockpuppet theater. Now I’m afraid of my sock drawer and what the things in it are saying behind my back.”