Joke-Off: Regrettable Fan Fiction Pairings

11/14/2012 · 30 comments

in Joke Off

Every Wednesday, I start a Joke-Off about a topic I make up (or one you guys suggest). On Thursday, we all vote on who’s the funniest bitch of the week based on these submissions. If you want to play, just add in your submission in the comments!

I spent more than my fair share of tween/teen years reading fan fiction because I didn’t have many friends outside of books and I lived in the middle of nowhere. I still spend too much time wondering how fictitious characters are living before I remind myself that they are fictitious. Live in my suspended reality for a moment, and let’s set up pretend people on the worst possible dates. (Real + Fictitious Person pairings totally allowed…and encouraged)

  • Jean-Luc Picard and Kim Kardashian
  • Dexter and Gus Fring
  • Frodo and Wilt Chamberlain
  • Gandalf and Magneto
  • Wolverine and Helen Keller
  • Remus Lupin and Jacob Black
  • Jacob Black and A Goddamn Baby
  • Walter White and Lindsay Lohan
  • Captain Malcolm Reynolds and Snooki
  • Michaelangelo and Pizza The Hutt
  • Jem and Pat Robertson
  • Ron Burgundy and Gretchen Carlson
  • Christian Grey and Molly Weasley
  • Jack Skellington and Kate Moss
  • Tony Stark and Kathie Lee Gifford
  • Thor and Anyone Who Is Not Me
  • Loki and Anyone Who Is Not Me
  • Aragorn and Edward Cullen
  • Mr. Tumnus and Dolores Umbridge
  • The Doctor and Michele Bachmann
  • Dumbledore and Dora the Explorer
  • Dark Helmet and Darth Vader
  • The Sta-Puft Marshallow Man and Cyclops (From X-Men)
  • Dumbledore and Stefon
  • Elmo and William Riker
  • Han Solo and Liza Minelli
  • Dr. House and Dr. Beverly Crusher
  • Kunta Kinte and Geordi LeForge
  • Bruce Banner and  Nancy Grace
  • Hobbes and Tigger
  • Neo and Bella Swan
  • Hermione Granger and Jose Canseco
  • Cher and The Doctor
  • Yoko Ono and Severus Snape
  • Tony Stark and Kanye West
  • Chewbacca and Aunt Jemima
  • Edward Elric and Edward Cullen
  • The White Power Ranger and A White Power Advocate
Favorite Comment From The Last Post:
From Wendi: “Everyone knows boobs and cookies are best when they’re store bought. God speed, Madame.”

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