Thursday Throwdown: “Flirty” Texts You Don’t Want To Get

10/25/2012 · 12 comments

in Joke Off

Every Wednesday, we do a Joke-Off about a topic I make up. On Thursdays, we vote on who is the funniest bitch of us all. Vote for up to five!

How many of you also read the submissions and thought, “oh yeah, I’ve gotten that one a few times,” and then felt kind of sad about your life? Just me? Cool. Also, I never realized how creepy it can be to hear, “I just wanna be inside you,” until I read it 100 times.

Joke-Off: “Flirty” Texts You Don’t Want To Get

Danielle Geer (@deathbycupakes) October 25, 2012 at 6:51 am

These are hilarious. I’m not worthy.
Danielle Geer (@deathbycupakes) recently posted..Three days in the Twilight Zone

Sassy Viv October 25, 2012 at 10:00 am

Gross! And FANTASTIC!
Sassy Viv recently posted..THAT’S LIFE UNDER CONSTRUCTION

Just Jane October 25, 2012 at 10:02 am

I will never watch “Growing Pains” the same way again. And why was that kid called Boner anyway? What kind of parent names their kid Boner?

Janene October 25, 2012 at 11:19 am

The same parents who name their kids “Flash” and “Spring” with the family last name being Flood. Seriously. You can’t make that shit up.

Jen October 25, 2012 at 11:41 am

Mike Seaver met Boner at the bus stop on his first day of kindergarten (flashback episode). He introduced himself as Sylvester Stabone and Mike said “Sylvester? That’s a stupid name. I know! We’ll call you ‘Boner’!”

Fuck. . .why do I know this?
Jen recently posted..How to Not Suck in College

Danielle Geer (@deathbycupakes) October 25, 2012 at 2:41 pm

I’m so glad you answered that instead of me. I’m horrified that I know that, too… and that Matthew Perry was Carol’s boyfriend who got killed by a drunk driver.

Don’t even get me started on Alan Thicke trivia.
Danielle Geer (@deathbycupakes) recently posted..Three days in the Twilight Zone

Jen October 25, 2012 at 2:50 pm

The boyfriend Sandy! And he was the one who had been drinking. Another cautionary tale from a “very special” Growing Pains.

“The more you knooooooooooow…”
Jen recently posted..How to Not Suck in College

Natalie the Singingfool October 25, 2012 at 11:46 am

Personally, the idea of anyone covered in BBQ sauce gets me all…disturbed. Yes, disturbed is the word I was looking for.
Natalie the Singingfool recently posted..So I Wasn’t in NY Just to Sight See and Take Strange Pictures for You…

Dana the Biped October 25, 2012 at 12:33 pm

Good lord. This is my dating history.
Dana the Biped recently posted..Hops in the Right Direction: It Goes Both Ways

Ami October 25, 2012 at 5:21 pm

Some of these had me rolling, because it sounds like crap my husband and I would say to each. We’re goofy that way. Lmao

Leauxra October 25, 2012 at 6:55 pm

Honestly, I wouldn’t mind getting any one of these texts.

Wait.
Leauxra recently posted..November is Coming

Kelly October 26, 2012 at 12:23 am

This makes me happy that my husband I met before texting existed.

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