Joke-Off: Terrible Sexy Halloween Costumes

10/10/2012 · 48 comments

in Joke Off, What Is Wrong With You?

The inspiration for this week’s Joke-Off goes to this sack of skanks.

Nothing ruins a childhood faster than bending Oscar over a couch while Elmo cries loudly in the bathroom.

Joke-Off: Terrible Sexy Halloween Costumes

  • Sexy Late-Stage AIDS patient
  • Sexy Leo Tolstoy
  • Sexy Limited Edition Rosa Parks Postage Stamp
  • Sexy Rosa Parks
  • Sexy Menorah
  • Sexy WASP Woman Named Beverly Who Is Desperately Trying To Convince Herself She’s Happy
  • Sexy Walter White
  • Sexy Dalai Lama
  • Sexy Pontius Pilate
  • Sexy Hipster Running Low On Trustfunds and Parental Respect
  • Sexy Rape Apologist
  • Sexy Tyler Perry’s Madea
  • Sexy Social Construct of Gender Norm
  • Sexy Autism Spectrum
  • Sexy Kathy Bates In Misery
  • Sexy Baby Left In A Firehouse
  • Sexy Orthodox Rabbi
  • Sexy Alan Rickman’s Jowls
  • Sexy Kunta Kinte
  • Sexy Oscars Memorial Tribute To Dead Actors (courtesy of Alicia)
  • Sexy Eden Wood
  • Sexy Regrettable Semi-Racist Joke Near Race Joke Is About
  • Sexy Period Panties
  • Sexy Abortion Nurse
  • Sexy Jabba The Hut
  • Sexy ASPCA Commercial
  • Sexy Glass Ceiling In A Male Dominated Profession
  • Sexy Slow Decline Into Alzheimer’s
  • Sexy Placenta
  • Sexy Werther’s Original
  • Sexy KoKo The Signing Gorilla
  • Sexy Overworked Domestic Violence Patient Advocate
  • Sexy Sperm Whale

That Sperm Whale one was way too easy, but just too good to pass up.

Remember to submit your own jokes for Thursday Throwdown!

Favorite Comment From The Last Post:
From Jessica: “I pack my husbands lunch for him, usually a container of leftovers from the night before. He decided one day to bend one of my good forks in half in order to shove it back into the tupperware rather than just bringing the damn thing home. Next day he got left over steak…and a plastic spoon.” 
lola jane reid October 10, 2012 at 4:12 am

Halloween is a slutsky holiday, everything it touches turns slutty. My personal favourite is sitting outside on my steps with a pumpkin latte the day after Horelloween. Because of the walks of shame. All those slutty ladybugs don’t look so lady like walking home with their knickers in their pockets.

Meg October 10, 2012 at 5:42 am

Just because I’m feeling ragey today, if I see an adult woman dressed like this on Halloween, I’m going to sucker punch her in the vag.
Meg recently posted..Konichiwa From My Couch

Dana the Biped October 10, 2012 at 1:01 pm

It’ll probably be hanging out and easy to find, at least.
Dana the Biped recently posted.."Consummation" is not the act of consuming. Sadly.

SarcasticNinja October 10, 2012 at 5:50 am

Amazing. How about a Sexy 3rd World Country Starving Child?
SarcasticNinja recently posted..It’s Tough to Be the Queen – Part 4

Ben Ryder October 10, 2012 at 6:34 am

Really terrible sexy Halloween costumes of yours also gorgeous too. Thanks for your new design costumes sharing.
Ben Ryder recently posted..Kim Kardashian New Movie

Mayor Gia October 10, 2012 at 6:39 am

Hmmmmm. Sexy Hitler. (I’d say sexy nazi, but that’s not good enough. You need the moustache)
Mayor Gia recently posted..Willpower

Danielle Geer (@deathbycupakes) October 10, 2012 at 6:59 am

The moustache is crucial. For real.
Danielle Geer (@deathbycupakes) recently posted..Shark Week For Dummies

Danielle Geer (@deathbycupakes) October 10, 2012 at 6:54 am

Sexy Dead Crack Whore

Sexy Mitt Romney Wearing Mormon Magic Underwear

Sexy Victorian Death Photo

Sexy Water Bird Caught In Oil Spill
Danielle Geer (@deathbycupakes) recently posted..Shark Week For Dummies

Leauxra October 10, 2012 at 2:19 pm

I really want to go as a Seaxy Dead Crack Whore now… Do you think it would be work appropriate?

Carrie October 10, 2012 at 7:36 am

Sexy Morgan Freeman

Christine October 10, 2012 at 7:38 am

Sexy (Joseph) Kony

Sexy Honey Boo Boo Child’s Mother

Sexy Saw Victim

Sexy Herpes Outbreak

Sexy Peter Griffin

Sexy Justin Beiber Puking Onstage
Christine recently posted..I’m Pretty Sure Andrew is just a Child with Werner Syndrome.

Misty October 10, 2012 at 7:57 am

Sexy Jesus

Sexy Harlem Globetrotter

Sexy Jerry Sandusky

Sexy Cancerous Tumor

Sexy Dog Poop on the Bottom of Your Shoe
Misty recently posted..Take Me Out to the Ballgame

nadine October 10, 2012 at 8:08 am

Unsexy Kim Kardashian (unwaxed Persian Woman with fat ass)
nadine recently posted..Don’t Stop Belivin’ … I never started

Johi October 10, 2012 at 8:28 am

After driving by a produce stand for an entire summer a few years ago and reading their sign that boasted “Sexy Peaches!”, I have since wondered every day what the hell they meant. In light of that, I would like to see:

Sexy Peaches

Also, in no particular order:

Sexy Used Syringe

Sexy Danny Devito

Sexy Dirty Sweat Socks wadded up and thrown on my fucking living room carpet

Sexy Oscar the Grouch

Sexy Mother Theresa

Sexy stretch marks
Johi recently posted..Finding Your People

Johi October 10, 2012 at 4:10 pm

Sexy Jack Nicholson- the current version.
Johi recently posted..Finding Your People

Mandi October 10, 2012 at 4:52 pm

Hah! I just made a joke in my post about Oscar the Grouch. And come to think of it, it’s really only funny to me because I don’t have kids, I always hated Sesame Street, and really, what 31 year old has Oscar the Grouch on the brain?
Mandi recently posted..Things I’d really LIKE to say…but shouldn’t

Mrs. Pappagiorgio October 10, 2012 at 8:33 am

True story: last year we saw Sexy Half-Completed Abortion. It was very similar to Sexy Naughty School Girl, except with a fetus.

Danielle Geer (@deathbycupakes) October 10, 2012 at 8:56 am

Or, as seen recently on Regretsy:

Sexy Sheep Fetus With Placenta
Danielle Geer (@deathbycupakes) recently posted..Shark Week For Dummies

Lacey October 10, 2012 at 8:59 am

Sexy Battered Wife
Sexy Big Mac
Sexy Hemorrhoid Cream Container
Sexy Dora the Explorer
Sexy Betty White
Sexy Incontinence Sufferer
Sexy Einstein
Sexy Dementia Patient
Sexy Barbara Streisand’s Nose
Lacey recently posted..XXL panties my ass.

Rachel October 10, 2012 at 9:18 am

Sexy Tanning Mom Patricia Krentcil.

That one shouldn’t be too hard. Most whores are close to that shade of fake bake orange anyways.

Ninja Mom October 10, 2012 at 9:45 am

Sexy Sad Middle-Aged Woman Wearing a Sexy Teen Costume
Sexy Colitis
Sexy Ron Paul
Sexy Raw Chicken Breast (free-range)
Sexy Ronald McDonald
Sexy IUD
Ninja Mom recently posted..Don’t say "mutt" like it’s a bad thing. I’m @InThePowderRoom.

Jen October 10, 2012 at 10:13 am

Sexy Amish Sheep Fucker

Sexy Back-Alley Abortionist

Sexy Stephen Hawking

Sexy Mesothelioma

Sexy Nazi War Criminal

Sexy Obama’s Ballsack
Jen recently posted.."Have Fun Storming the Castle!"

Jen October 10, 2012 at 4:15 pm

Sexy Taco Bell Cantina Bowl
Jen recently posted.."Have Fun Storming the Castle!"

Mandi October 10, 2012 at 4:53 pm

Stephen Hawking in his youth was not a bad looking guy, if a little hipster-ish. But I guess you have to go for the nerdy type.
Mandi recently posted..Things I’d really LIKE to say…but shouldn’t

Janene October 10, 2012 at 5:54 pm

Nerds are so bloody sexy, it’s unreal. Best part is because they don’t think they’re sexy at all. Then you can have your way with them and ….

oh, shit. Uh…. nevermind.

*cough cough* Carry on.

Sarah October 10, 2012 at 10:36 am

This cannot be a submission, because I saw it on the Bloggess yesterday, but I’m still riled up about it: Sexy Body Bag. It exists. And that’s freaking insane.
Sarah recently posted..Repeat Week- If I had the energy, I would have said this…

Ashley October 10, 2012 at 10:51 am

You made an error. Alan Rickman’s jowls are ALREADY sexy.

QOE October 10, 2012 at 11:30 am

I’ll see your Alan Richman’s jowls and raise you Wilfred Brimley’s moustache.

QOE October 10, 2012 at 11:29 am

Sexy Sloth (from the Goonies)

Baby Ruth anyone?

DevyMama October 10, 2012 at 11:37 am

Sexy Marie Curie with Aplastic Anemia

Sexy Bin Laden (post-Navy Seal Team 6)

Sexy Pennywise the Clown
DevyMama recently posted..My Man is Better Than Your Man

Hadassa October 10, 2012 at 7:13 pm

I am upset that you made me think about Pennywise the Clown. That bastard destroyed my childhood. However, I forgive you because of Sexy Marie Curie with Aplastic Anemia.

Carrie - Cannibalistic Nerd October 10, 2012 at 11:42 am

Sexy dead bird head on a stick.
Carrie – Cannibalistic Nerd recently posted..The Least Magic Magic Trick Ever

Angela October 10, 2012 at 12:00 pm

Sexy Forensic Investigator: Solving Crimes…of Passion!

M-D November October 10, 2012 at 12:11 pm

Sexy Ruth Bader Ginsburg
Sexy Mars Curiousity Rover
Sexy Hoarder
Sexy Zoidberg

Dana the Biped October 10, 2012 at 1:57 pm

Sexy Mother Hubbard
Sexy George Washington
Sexy Depressed, Recently-Dumped and Ceaselessly-Sobbing Girl
Sexy Dobby
Dana the Biped recently posted.."Consummation" is not the act of consuming. Sadly.

Dana the Biped October 10, 2012 at 1:59 pm

Sexy It’s-October-So-Everything-Needs-to-Be-Pink-Because-People-with-Cancer-Are-Totally-Going-to-Be-Cured-by-Your-Facebook-Status Breast Cancer Awareness Ribbon
Dana the Biped recently posted..And the Award Goes To…

Beth L October 10, 2012 at 2:16 pm

Sexy It’s-October-So-Every-Event-That-Happens-In-This-Month-Will-End-In-“tober”-Because- We-Can’t-Think-of-Anything-Else.

Holly S. October 10, 2012 at 2:02 pm

Sexy Pregnant Woman
Sexy Baby Still in Sexy Diapers
Sexy STD
Sexy Jerry’s Kid
Sexy Jerry Lewis
Sexy Ball-sack Hanging from a Redneck’s Trailer Hitch
Sexy Young African Girl with Removable Clitoris
Sexy Down’s Syndrome Girl from McDonald’s Commercial

Winopants October 10, 2012 at 2:08 pm

Ok, I’ve already seen a couple submissions that are clear winners, but I’ll throw these out there for the giggles:
sexy post-op breast augmentation
sexy cat litter
sexy McRib sandwich
sexy Anastasia Steele
Winopants recently posted..Diet for a Naughty Wino

Kat October 10, 2012 at 2:14 pm

Sexy Vladimir Putin
Sexy McDonald’s Worker Who Doesn’t Give Two Shits About You And Your Mustard Allergy
Sexy Michelle Obama’s Arms- Just The Arms
Sexy Janitor: Clean Up On Aisle 69
Sexy Woman Who Cannot Find Size 11 Heels Because The Drags Queens Get To Them First

Jake October 10, 2012 at 4:16 pm

Damn, y’all have used several of the ones I thought of already! Here are a few more anyway:

Sexy Chris Christie
Sexy Altar Boy
Sexy KKK Member
Sexy Any Member of AC/DC
Sexy Incontinence
Jake recently posted..How to Read a Book (Without Being a Douchecanoe): A Primer.

Mandi October 10, 2012 at 4:48 pm

Sexy Dead Baby
Sexy Dissected Frog
Sexy Andy Dick
Sexy Jabba the Hutt
Sexy Dirty Diaper
Mandi recently posted..Things I’d really LIKE to say…but shouldn’t

Jillian October 10, 2012 at 5:28 pm

Sexy LOLcat
Sexy Possum
Sexy Levi Johnson’s New Girlfriend
Sexy Abstinence Advocate
Sexy Orc
Sexy Anne Hathaway
Jillian recently posted..I’m Cool. You’re Cool. We’re All Cool. Except You. You’re Not Cool. No, Not You. Yeah, You.

Euphoria Girl October 10, 2012 at 6:31 pm

When exactly did every single costume get the slutty prefix? I’m picturing slutty Susan B. Anthony and it just doesn’t sit right.
Euphoria Girl recently posted..Make Good Art Because Neil Gaiman Says So

Nikki October 10, 2012 at 6:45 pm

Sexy sexual harassment panda

Hadassa October 10, 2012 at 7:11 pm

Sexy burn victim
Sexy lunch lady
Sexy schizophrenic
Sexy bagpiper
Sexy welfare recipient (Obama phone included) October 23, 2012 at 2:12 pm

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