Joke-Off: Pinterest Boards No One Should Create

10/17/2012 · 47 comments

in Joke Off

Every Wednesday, I start a Joke-Off about a topic I make up (or one you guys suggest). On Thursday, we all vote on who’s the funniest bitch of the week based on these submissions. If you want to play, just add in your submission in the comments!

I still can’t hear, so I’ve been entertaining myself by being on Pinterest for hours because I can’t hear TV or music. Y’all–there is some weird shit on Pinterest. I need to see if we can out-do it.

Joke-Off: Pinterest Boards No One Should Create

  • Ways To Murder Him
  • DIY Sex Toys
  • Things That Have Been In My Ass
  • Things I Want To Put In My Ass
  • My Future Basement Slave
  • Hairstyles To Rip Off Someone Else’s Head
  • More Goddamn Some E-Cards
  • Foods To Hide Arsenic In
  • Spreadsheets I Want To Make
  • Kidnapped Baby Stuff
  • Dead Animals I Want To Stare At
  • Rainy Day Projects To Do With My Unlawfully Imprisoned Children
  • Photos Of My Neighbors
  • Butthole Tattoos
  • Prison Wedding Ideas
  • Shoes To Cum On
  • Racism Is Rad
  • Hobbies My Husband Expressly Forbids
  • Things to Plagiarize
  • Hair Crochet Projects
  • Bullshit Scientific Theories
  • Dreamboats: Adolf Hitler
  • Chins Lust
  • Faces of Death
  • Menarche Party Ideas
  • Depressivation
  • Car Accidents
  • Recipes To Use Jizz In
  • Skin Flakes Shaped Like Freddie Mercury
  • Things To Make From Hollowed Out Bodies
  • Oddly-Shaped Breasts
  • Food and Drink and Meth
  • Wedding Ruining Ideas
Favorite Comment From The Last Post:
From Dana The Biped: “I very nearly killed myself this weekend by falling off the toilet and cracking my head on the sink. And then the cast iron radiator. I think I’ll just stick to ground-level, thanks.” 
Janey B October 17, 2012 at 3:11 am

Pictures made from pubic hair
Toenail clippings
My poo log
Stars I’m stalking
Ideas for suicide

Christine October 17, 2012 at 5:57 am

STDs I want to contract
Ways to Slaughter a Village
White Ganstas I Love

Elizabeth October 17, 2012 at 3:41 pm

BAHAHA. White gangstas made me LOL

Janey B October 17, 2012 at 6:02 am

Recipes for placentas

Mayor Gia October 17, 2012 at 7:12 am

Period panties.
Mayor Gia recently posted..Happy Blogiversary to Meeee!

SarcasticNinja October 17, 2012 at 7:43 am

Animals I’d Like to Sodomize
Best Legitimate Rape Positions
Blood Cocktail Recipes
SarcasticNinja recently posted..Jesus and the Prisoners of Hadeskaban

Misty October 17, 2012 at 7:43 am

Gallery of Bleached Assholes

Bags of Back Hair

Ways to Unabashedly Annoy Your Friends and Family

Creative Ways to Piss Stain your Pants

How to Become a Radical Muslim Jihadist
Misty recently posted..A Picture’s Worth a Thousand . . .

Holly S. October 17, 2012 at 8:03 am

Teenage Boys to Stalk
Milkshake Recipes (that might bring all the boys to the yard)
Elephantitis of the Groin
Tampon Crochet Patterns
Jesus n’ Pancakes
Roadkill Rorschach tests
DIY Mastectomies
“Wierd Al” Porn Possibilities

Jaclyn October 17, 2012 at 9:05 am

Sexiest Down Syndrome Guys
Things That Probably Smell Bad
Rice Krispies- The Unique Little Snowflakes of Breakfast Cereal
Places My Kid Pooped (Spoiler Alert- it’s NEVER the toilet)
My Stomach Virus- A Story in Pictures
Blank Post-it Notes

Also, Dear Noa, my job stopped thinking you are porn, apparently. Love, Jaclyn

Jillian October 17, 2012 at 9:16 am

Callus Shavings Art
Potential Laxatives
Cleverly Vandalized Political Advertisements
Ways I Will Spend $5 Should I Win McDonald’s Monopoly
Pictures of Paul Ryan’s Nose
Jillian recently posted..Seasons Make Me Puke

Janene October 17, 2012 at 9:40 am

Cat accidents
I can has humans?
LOLfish

Jen October 17, 2012 at 9:49 am

Things That Make The Baby Jesus Weep

My Own Private I’m-a-Ho

Nathan Fillion’s Testicles

I Can Haz’ Beastiality?
Jen recently posted..Stupidest Crap Ever Spoken by Me and My Friends: Part 19

Misty October 17, 2012 at 9:50 am

Except for the beastiality one . . . why do I think that you actually HAVE these as your pages? Hmmm . . . . ;-)
Misty recently posted..A Picture’s Worth a Thousand . . .

Jen October 17, 2012 at 9:59 am

I’m offended! I would never do anything to make the Baby Jesus weep. . .except for the odd photoshopping of Jeremy Renner’s asscrack and Nathan’s scrot.
Jen recently posted..Stupidest Crap Ever Spoken by Me and My Friends: Part 19

carrie October 17, 2012 at 10:56 am

Christina Auguilera’s back fat

Erin October 17, 2012 at 10:59 am

Moles

My husband’s favorite: Epic shits

Bill G. October 17, 2012 at 8:59 pm

Oh dear god. You’re killing me!

Jess October 17, 2012 at 11:15 am

Toenail Clipping Sculptures
Roadkill Photography
Yellow Snow Art

Laura October 17, 2012 at 11:26 am

Celebrities who should run for president

Sister Friday October 17, 2012 at 11:43 am

Gouda Cheese Waxes
Parking Lot Gum Shaped Like States
Cysts
Mystery Entrails
Tatted Man-Purse Patterns
Penises Shaped Like States
Sister Friday recently posted..An Unthinkable Ironic Mustache Wednesday

abby October 17, 2012 at 11:44 am

Connect the Pimple Art

How To: braiding pubic hair

Most impressive zits
abby recently posted..If Lowe’s were a person He would be an Ageist, Pimple Faced Twatwaffle with a Distinct Underbite and a Questionable Mole on His Left Ass Cheek

Brea October 17, 2012 at 12:00 pm

Does This Look Like Herpes to You?
Home Decor Based on Baby Poop-Palettes
You Hid What, Where?! Or Things You’d Find in a Morbidly Obese Man’s Rolls
Couch Dinners–Making Meals From Leftovers Found in Furniture
Brea recently posted..A Letter to My Son

WTF, Pinterest? October 17, 2012 at 12:12 pm

Pictures of My Daddy Naked
Boogers: Not Just For Eating
Things Found On Dental Floss
Piercing Infections
Dead People In Bathtubs
Cute Pictures of Miscarried Babies
Shit Stains That Look Like Jesus

Jake October 17, 2012 at 12:56 pm

Poorly Supervised Children at Nearby Playgrounds
My Victims’ Unmarked Graves
How To: Women’s Skin Suit
My Food: Before and After
Costumes for Your Genitalia

And, for everyone who posted before me:
Comments You Shouldn’t Read During Lunch

Thanks, everyone. Y’all are fucking fabulous.
Jake recently posted..Trust me…I’m the Rug Doctor.

Elizabeth October 17, 2012 at 1:11 pm

Fruit shaped like Genitalia

WTF, Pinterest? October 17, 2012 at 5:56 pm
Elizabeth October 18, 2012 at 1:10 pm

I made that one up after going on Tumblr and seeing a picture of a peach shaped like an ass.

Dana the Biped October 17, 2012 at 1:24 pm

Really Interesting Fluorescent Tube Lamps
Great Places to Leave Your Chewed Gum
Homes of Hoarders Worse Than Me
Used Kleenex
Possum Face Pinups
Dana the Biped recently posted..I’m Totally Going to Be in Trouble with the Man Upstairs…

DevyMama October 17, 2012 at 1:55 pm

Creative Places to Bury a Body

Moustaches I Wouldn’t Mind Riding On

My Favorite Taints
DevyMama recently posted..My Man is Better Than Your Man

ColinP October 17, 2012 at 1:55 pm

Mystery items found under things I want to eat
Things I want to lick
Things I want to be licked by
ColinP recently posted..Requiescat in Pace Tony Scott (06/21/1944 – 08/19/2012)

Sassy Viv October 17, 2012 at 2:14 pm

Pus Painting
How To Knit with Hairballs!
DIY Eyeball Tattoos
Home Surgery
Quadriplegics Gone Wild
Conjoined Dwarves

Ninja Mom October 17, 2012 at 2:53 pm

- Clowns I Non-Ironically Love
– Fetuses
– Cooking with Garbage
– Warts and Fungal Infections I have Known
– Incarceration Scrapbook Ideas
– More Ways to Make Shivs
– New Excuses for Signs of Marital Abuse
Ninja Mom recently posted..Monday’s child drives a Smart Car

Jake October 17, 2012 at 3:15 pm

Oops, I forgot to add “Places I’ve Had Sex.”
Jake recently posted..Trust me…I’m the Rug Doctor.

Winopants October 17, 2012 at 4:19 pm

Stuffed animals my dog likes to hump
Places where homeless people sleep
Swollen cankles
Sexy costumes for grandma
Boxers with skid marks
Winopants recently posted..Leo and the Ginger Cat Wars

Kat October 17, 2012 at 5:45 pm

Rule 34 Your Entire Childhood.

Nikki October 17, 2012 at 5:55 pm

Recipes for bulimics AND
the perfect Igor costume for your 7 year old daughter

Todd October 17, 2012 at 7:02 pm

Things that look like … but aren’t … poop
Maxi Pad rorschach test
Todd recently posted..Good Robots, Bad Robots, and Heads for Hats

Jason October 17, 2012 at 8:55 pm

HOWTO: Home Surgery
Dreamboats: Kirk Cameron
Celebrity Fungal Infections
Family Reunion Sex Games

Jason October 17, 2012 at 8:56 pm

Oh and… Famous Faces in Feces

Bill G. October 17, 2012 at 8:58 pm

You had me at “Things That Have Been in My Ass”. Love it.

Bill G. October 17, 2012 at 9:00 pm

Farts and the women who love (or hate) them.

pippi October 17, 2012 at 9:03 pm

Things cleaned from my dog’s ass fur
Projectile vomit art
Trannie Grannies on Harleys
pippi recently posted..Being A People Person is Highly Overrated-Part II Overindulging at Social Functions

Ann October 17, 2012 at 11:49 pm

Things to hide (and eat later) in my pannus
How to hide a dirty bomb in my anus
Dog jawbone nipple clamps
Dog jawbone nipple clamps BEDAZZLED

Elizabeth October 18, 2012 at 11:46 am

Unsightly scars
Weird Pubic hair
Does This Look like a Fungal Infection to You?

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