Funny Bitch Friday: Irby + Ian.

09/07/2012 · 7 comments

in Funny Bitch Friday

“Advice for jerks, written by assholes.”

 irby + ian. are my kind of people.

50% written by the badass bitch from Bitches Gotta Eat, this advice blog is everything you’d hope it to be and more. It’s obscenely hilarious, straight obscene at times, and there’s talk of a pubic hair brush fire. I have never been afraid that my crotch would catch fire in the throes of pissing off my neighbors, but now I am.

Here are their most recent posts, but I can guarantee you’ll be lost in the archives all day.

How To Date A Black Man

Bite Me!

Gift Horse, Mouth, Looking In That Shit

Acceptable Gifts To Give A Man

Irby’s Miracle Baby

“What Kind Of Gay Shit Is This?”

I’m in love.

Favorite Comment From The Last Post:
From Lauren @ Filing Jointly: “I have never-ending dumb thoughts. I am fine with them as long as they stay cooped up in my brain where they belong. They don’t often do that though. Like a couple of months ago on the way to the airport my husband randomly turned to me and was like “Don’t you think the word vestibule is fun to say?” And I of course was like, “That was a dumb as shit thing you just asked me.” But then I couldn’t get the stupid word out of my head and kept repeating it all “VEST-i-bule, vesti-BULE,” and so on and so forth until we were in a very crowded line at security and I looked at the guy examining my boarding pass and I thought I just THOUGHT IN MY HEAD “I wonder if he thinks vestibule is a fun word to say.” And then that dude was like “Vestibule is a fine word ma’am.”
Mayor Gia September 7, 2012 at 6:47 am

Bahah this is a brilliant concept. The post titles alone get me.
Mayor Gia recently posted..HAPPY BIRTHDAY BOYFRIEND!

Lacey September 7, 2012 at 10:42 am

Hahaha! Awesome. I found a new fave blog =) Thanks!
Lacey recently posted..XXL panties my ass.

Lacey September 7, 2012 at 10:49 am

“let’s just breathe on each other for twenty minutes then get up and make some nachos and watch the goddamned game.”

IF ONLY! Hahaha. Love it.
Lacey recently posted..XXL panties my ass.

Jen September 7, 2012 at 2:03 pm

I want to date a black man now just so I can get some of that poon chafe from the Brillo pubes. And I make a kickass cornbread, yo.
Jen recently posted..Foodie Friday: Dining with Dylan

Dana the Biped September 7, 2012 at 5:13 pm

“Rotting human corpse” candles? “Sulfur-drenched dog vomit” scent? Hells yes–I am starting a new business! Of course, it’s going to be cat vomit instead–and it’s going to come with a free bag of cat litter and two milk jug rings/seriously awesome cat toys. Actually, it’s just going to be free all together. I named the beast “Stink” for a reason.

You know, this might not be the best business model.
Dana the Biped recently posted..What is wrong with me?! (Seriously.)

Dana the Biped September 7, 2012 at 5:20 pm

Also, I just discovered I am a “lonely, cockblocking-ass broad.” Goddamn it, I’m still at work, and it’s twenty after five. I’m going home to a bottle of cheap wine and my stupid smelly cat.
Dana the Biped recently posted..What is wrong with me?! (Seriously.)

Delfin Joaquin Paris III September 7, 2012 at 7:47 pm

I thought me and Aunt Becky were the funniest Chicago bloggers until we found BitchesGottaEat. Now, we stand in awe of her. Yes, she’s THAT good.
Delfin Joaquin Paris III recently posted..This Was Written In The Nude

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