Funny Bitch Friday: MODG

04/06/2012 · 18 comments

in Funny Bitch Friday

MODG gives me hope that one day (if my uterus turns out not to be the hellfire cauldron of evil and hatred that I pray it is) if I have children, I will not be hopelessly awful at it.

Which sort of sounds like I called her a bad mother. Which is not true. She isn’t. I think. It’s not like I know her personally or anything, but I generally don’t assume people are bad mothers when I don’t know them.

Unless you’re Alicia Silverstone.

She gives me hope because she’s so goddamn funny, and if she can be funny with a child, we all can be funny with a child. That means I don’t have to turn my blog into a weird version of what I imagine most mommy blogs are. And that makes me happy. So does MODG.

Top 9 Things I Learned From A Hippie This Year. 10 Was Too Much

Learning To Accept Your Child For Who They Are. Almost Like Learning Advanced Physics. *HARD*

Declaring War On All Children Everywhere, Not My Finest Moment

The 5 Warning Signs That You Need To Get Off Of Your No Longer Pregnant But Maybe Pregnant With A Ghost Baby Ass And Exercise

Hope. There is hope for us all.
Favorite Comment From The Last Post:
From Hoody Hoo: “This post dovetails so nicely with the previous one… since most of the Human Islands I seem to run into have one or more obnoxious Child-Island in tow. Making them some sort of Human Archipelago, I guess?” 
Front Desk Ninja April 6, 2012 at 3:19 am

Just sayin’, The Bloggess, Jen, and Jaclyn all have offspring.

They’re all pretty badass.

MODG is officially distracting me from the crackwhores and pimps tonight.
Thank you!
Front Desk Ninja recently posted..No, I Will Not Touch Your Penis!

Noa May 2, 2012 at 4:02 pm

AH. That makes me seem like an asshole.

It’s such a small fraction of people who are awesome parents. I have apparently allowed all of them into The League.

Shaan December 31, 2012 at 9:52 am

Here’s a great clip you might enjoy, The songs is clelad Buy a Dog from a band clelad Luce, I made the video myself, enjoy youtube.com/watch?v=2acYxdU-POw

Mayor Gia April 6, 2012 at 6:40 am

Haha I spent awhile just checking out the buttons at the top of the page. “Don’t contact” and “asian”
Mayor Gia recently posted..Good things! And bad things. But Mostly Good Things!

Noa May 2, 2012 at 4:03 pm

You saw the sidebar, right?

Mandi E. April 6, 2012 at 6:47 am

Noa, as much as I hate to admit it, people like you, me, and any other funny, intelligent non-asshole in this world sort of have a biological imperative to breed and balance out the abysmal cesspool of DUH that is the gene pool.

And my plan is to use this glorious woman as my guide. I think she and I need to collaborate on a book about psychological warfare for evil children without getting caught.
Mandi E. recently posted..How do I sleep at night? I don’t. I use The Force to heal.

Noa May 2, 2012 at 4:04 pm

God has a sense of decency. He will not allow me to breed.

Monica April 6, 2012 at 10:28 am

Hee hee. I’m still laughing at the ghost-baby entry. I don’t even have a ghost baby to blame for my fat ass. I had a miscarriage in January at 6 weeks. Maybe I can blame that for my “baby weight.” At the very least, it will make people really uncomfortable, which makes it worth doing.
Monica recently posted..DIY Friday: Fire! Fire! Fire!

Noa May 2, 2012 at 4:04 pm

Anytime you can make strangers feel weird, do it.

Heather Rose April 6, 2012 at 10:59 am

She is the only, only reason I would ever consider having children. Because I could pimp them out as blog fodder. No wait, that wasnt the lesson I was supposed to learn. Because they’re not complete and utter life-wreckers? Eh, that’s probably closer.
Heather Rose recently posted..I’m not going to tell you the full scenario, but I need your advice…

Noa May 2, 2012 at 4:06 pm

There’s such a fine line between a mommy blog and a kid exploitation blog. Naturally, she’s found the perfect straddle and I love it.

Dana the Biped April 6, 2012 at 2:47 pm

I’m sorry, I just got off the phone with my grandma. I can take no more talk about how everybody else’s grandkids already have babies.

Small people. They fuck you over even through non-existence.
Dana the Biped recently posted..The Hunger Games and Nazi Germany: Visual Metaphor in the Film and Why It Works

Heather Rose April 6, 2012 at 3:29 pm

So. true. At least three times a week I get the “you should REALLY have children now while I’m still young enough to enjoy them…” guilt trip from my mother. If you wanted me to be a baby factory, you shouldn’t have raised me to be so educated/independent, woman.
Heather Rose recently posted..I’m not going to tell you the full scenario, but I need your advice…

Monica April 6, 2012 at 6:00 pm

When people make comments about why I don’t have any children, I tell them CPS keeps taking them away.
Monica recently posted..DIY Friday: Fire! Fire! Fire!

Front Desk Ninja April 7, 2012 at 5:57 am

Golden.
Front Desk Ninja recently posted..No, I Will Not Touch Your Penis!

Noa May 2, 2012 at 4:06 pm

DON’T LET THE GUILT GET YOU DOWN! RISE UP!

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