Funny Bitch Friday: Facebooking From The Edge

04/20/2012 · 63 comments

in Funny Bitch Friday

Facebooking From The Edge is one of those blogs I read and think, “Shit Noa, you’re a dumbass, why didn’t you think of that?” The answer is, of course, because I’m a dumbass.

Luckily, this ridiculously hilarious bitch is not a dumbass. In fact, she’s really quite sharp. And funny. And wields the word Penis with a fortitude the likes of which I will never possess.

You Say “Tumescence” I say “Peener”

Vagina Enthusiasts

Becoming A Dude

Things I Can’t Get Outta My Head

The Sky Is Falling! The Sky Is Falling!

Strange Sex Part Une and Part Deux

She is also a frequent reader, which makes me love her even harder than my husband’s tumescence. GO. READ. ENJOYS FOR YOU NOW.

Tonight, I’ll be podcasting with Jen from Jen E Sais Quoi! Pants will not be worn. Sadly, it will not be live, but you can still LIVE TWEET with us #LOFBPodcast! We’ll be recording at 7:30 CST, and the entire hour of fuckery will be up on Monday!

Favorite Comment From The Last Post:
From Jen (you winning bitch you): “ALEX: This guy at work made some Jewish joke and I was like, “Umm, I’m Jewish, Anne Frank-ly those jokes are outside of Mein Kampf-ort zone”. ME: I bet he did Nazi that one coming. ALEX: We’re both going to hell. Cue sound of Alex and myself laughing like coked-up whores, then turning to discover Hasidic Jew standing behind us staring disapprovingly. Aaaaannnnd. . .scene.”

{ 63 comments… read them below or add one }

Front Desk Ninja April 20, 2012 at 2:56 am

Love it.
and I’m obviously going to try and be there. That hashtag is going to fuck with my character count something fierce, though. Jesus.

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Jen April 20, 2012 at 5:04 pm

No drunk sleeping, Girl! We need you there!
Jen recently posted..Foodie Friday: Konichiwa!

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Noa May 2, 2012 at 3:27 pm

I can’t just have a normal hashtag. I have to throw some sass into it.

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Mayor Gia April 20, 2012 at 6:32 am

Hahah I love facebooking from the edge! Sometimes I have to make sure not to read her post at work though. Too many pictures of saggy boobies…
Mayor Gia recently posted..My Apartment is Trying to Kill Me

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Dani April 22, 2012 at 5:10 pm

It’s my gift to the world, Gia… I’m bringing saggy boobs back. It’s only right.
Dani recently posted..You say "tumescence", I say "peener"

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Noa May 2, 2012 at 3:29 pm

S’why I am so lucky to work from home, because all I do all day is look at pictures of saggy boobies.

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Mandi E. April 20, 2012 at 6:43 am

In the past few months that we’ve been following each other’s blogs, we’ve come to the conclusion that Dani and I are both the same people living slightly different timelines in the same universe. She is my future me, and I lurv her.
Mandi E. recently posted..Burning and aching are reserved for loins only.

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Dani April 22, 2012 at 5:11 pm

And in a parallel universe, Future Dani is singing, “Oh Mandy, blah blah blah…” because she can’t remember the worlds but loves you forever.
Dani recently posted..You say "tumescence", I say "peener"

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Noa May 2, 2012 at 3:35 pm

It’s that weird when you find that person and think, “My God, you’re me.” It’s like a special way of finding out how awesome you actually are.

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NATurally Inappropriate April 20, 2012 at 7:05 am

I LOVE this bitch!
NATurally Inappropriate recently posted..WTF Wednesday: She’s not country. Quesadillas

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Dani April 22, 2012 at 5:11 pm

I LOVE YOU MORE!!
Dani recently posted..You say "tumescence", I say "peener"

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Noa May 2, 2012 at 3:37 pm

ME MORE.

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Misty April 20, 2012 at 7:51 am

Woo-hoo, Dani!! I have loved her for YEARS. And I only discovered her existence about 8 months ago. THAT’S how fucking funny that bitch is!
Misty recently posted..Weekly Whacked: There Needs to Be a Law!

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Dani April 22, 2012 at 5:13 pm

I am pretty sure in another place, in another time before camera phones, we were hanging out on the prairie picking apart everyone else’s fashion choices and going home and drawing pictures of them on our slates.

I’m almost positive we invented the very first Burn Books.
Dani recently posted..You say "tumescence", I say "peener"

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Noa May 2, 2012 at 3:39 pm

You are the second time traveler in these comments. TELL ME YOUR SECRETS.

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CrazyTragicAlmostMagic April 20, 2012 at 8:35 am

I’m always expanding my blogroll so I’ll check her out.
CrazyTragicAlmostMagic recently posted..BDR: Bloggers Dispute Resolution

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Dani April 22, 2012 at 5:14 pm

Do you like me? Huh? Huh? Do ya? Huh? Do ya? *pantpant* Well? Well?
Dani recently posted..You say "tumescence", I say "peener"

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Noa May 2, 2012 at 3:40 pm

You will keep her on the quick rotation, yo.

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leigh April 20, 2012 at 8:59 am

dude i love you so hard for all of your funny bitch friday posts.. although my blogroll might be getting wayyy too long.

that’s what she said.
leigh recently posted..Q is for quality…

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Dani April 22, 2012 at 5:15 pm

I can honestly say, with much extreme sadness, that I’ve never gotten to say that.

Sigh.
Dani recently posted..You say "tumescence", I say "peener"

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Noa May 2, 2012 at 3:42 pm

And my husband’s dick has a new name.

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Jen April 20, 2012 at 9:56 am

Dani is the schizzle fo’ rizzle! She and I share that bond that only a person living with someone on the autism spectrum can possess. Welcome to the League, Dani! :)
Jen recently posted..Fasting: You’re Doing It Wrong

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Dani April 22, 2012 at 5:18 pm

THANK YOU JENNNNN!!!

And I love you most of all for removing CAPTCHA for me.

Oh, and for making me laugh so hard I practically pee, and then turning around and making me want to march next to you in a parade while we single handedly destroy horrible people who make fun of those with special needs while we bring Autism Awareness to the masses.

You are one of my heroes <3
Dani recently posted..You say "tumescence", I say "peener"

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Noa May 2, 2012 at 3:46 pm

I suddenly feel out of the club.

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Jen May 2, 2012 at 3:48 pm

You can be our mascot.
Jen recently posted..I’ve Been TAGGED, Yo!

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Dani April 20, 2012 at 10:01 am

Holy Shit Balls!! I clicked on O Noa to check out the Funny Bitch of the Week and it actually took me a few minutes to realize it was MEEEEEEE!!!! I was all, “Facebooking From The Edge… that sounds familiar… I think I’ve read that blog before…”

This is like the Academy Award of Blogdom…
I’m wayyyyy under dressed for this.

Excuse me while I go don my Red Carpet attire and borrowed diamonds.

*SQUEEEEEEEE*
Dani recently posted..You say "tumescence", I say "peener"

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Mandi E. April 20, 2012 at 2:24 pm

That’s my humble, girl. Congrats, chica.
Mandi E. recently posted..WTF Friday: Adventures in Landlording – Threats of Violence as Currency

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Mandi E. April 20, 2012 at 2:25 pm

Also, there should have been no comma in that first sentence. I’m utterly devoid of common sense today.
Mandi E. recently posted..WTF Friday: Adventures in Landlording – Threats of Violence as Currency

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NATurally Inappropriate April 20, 2012 at 3:52 pm

That’s cuz your ass is still pissy from the dentist. Lulz.
NATurally Inappropriate recently posted..F*ck You Friday

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Mandi E. April 20, 2012 at 3:54 pm

No joke. I still can’t open my mouth all the way.
Mandi E. recently posted..WTF Friday: Adventures in Landlording – Threats of Violence as Currency

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Jen April 20, 2012 at 5:05 pm

That’s what she said.
Jen recently posted..Foodie Friday: Konichiwa!

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-Vince April 20, 2012 at 7:24 pm

It took all my willpower to not say the same thing.

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Dani April 22, 2012 at 5:18 pm

I’m still wearing my tiara…
Dani recently posted..You say "tumescence", I say "peener"

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Noa May 2, 2012 at 3:48 pm

YOU WIN AT LIFE, DANI.

I wrote this naked, as I write 60% of my posts. I hope you feel violated and also honored.

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Cole April 20, 2012 at 3:46 pm

Hey friend.
vary good opinion fro you.
I think face-booking is an way of increasing empower online.
What is your opinon about SMM?
Thanks,
Cole
Cole recently posted..How To Pick Up Girls

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Mandi E. April 20, 2012 at 3:55 pm

Spammers eat a big bowl of dicks. What is your opinion about that, friend?
Mandi E. recently posted..WTF Friday: Adventures in Landlording – Threats of Violence as Currency

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Jen April 20, 2012 at 5:06 pm

((s-l-o-w c-l-a-p))
Jen recently posted..Foodie Friday: Konichiwa!

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Dani April 22, 2012 at 5:19 pm

Dear Cole,

One word: Spellcheck.

Love,

Dani
Dani recently posted..You say "tumescence", I say "peener"

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-Vince April 23, 2012 at 3:49 pm

Agreed:

F7 ≠ Copy Edit

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Noa May 2, 2012 at 3:48 pm

OH COLE. You always get me.

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-Vince April 20, 2012 at 4:12 pm

This is why I never get anything accomplished on Fridays.

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Dani April 22, 2012 at 5:20 pm

I never get anything accomplished on Fridays because I’m lazy and unemployed.

I suck.
Dani recently posted..You say "tumescence", I say "peener"

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-Vince April 23, 2012 at 3:40 pm

My Productivity Theory:

Hypothesis:
Wednesday is the only productive day of the week.

Backup:
Monday: Hangover from the weekend (if you’re doing it right)
Tuesday: Feeling better, still recovering from a Case of the Mondays
Wednesday: Hooray I’m getting shit done!
Thursday: You’re tired from all that productivity yesterday / anticipating your weekend plans
Friday*: You’ve got too much cool stuff planed to get shit done on Friday / it’s 5 o’clock somewhere
WEEKEND! If you’re using the weekend to be productive, you’re doing the weekend wrong.

*Addendum 1: You have just been introduced to yet another Funny Bitch. Therefore, the work day is spent reading another hilarious blog (not a real word).

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Noa May 2, 2012 at 3:50 pm

You’re welcome.

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GirltoMom- Heidi April 20, 2012 at 6:07 pm

Dani is the coolest! I’m so glad you chose her, LOVE IT!!!
GirltoMom- Heidi recently posted..Jenny Lawson The Bloggess Rocked My World, Baby

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Dani April 22, 2012 at 5:20 pm

Thanks Heidi!!

xoxo
Dani recently posted..You say "tumescence", I say "peener"

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Noa May 2, 2012 at 3:52 pm

I’m glad you like her as much as I do!

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Emily Woodhouse April 21, 2012 at 7:10 am

Oh my bitch you’re sharp & funny. Love you!
Emily Woodhouse recently posted..Life Insurance Rates By Age – The prospect of age on insurance

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Dani April 22, 2012 at 5:21 pm

I’m going to pretend you’re talking to me.

Thank you!

I love being someone’s bitch, especially someone who thinks I’m sharp and funny!!!
Dani recently posted..You say "tumescence", I say "peener"

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Noa May 2, 2012 at 3:55 pm

I almost like it when Spammers are at least relevant.

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Kimi Young April 21, 2012 at 3:11 pm

I totally love this.

-Kimi
Kimi Young recently posted..how to seduce a woman

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Dani April 22, 2012 at 5:22 pm

Thank you Kimi!!
Dani recently posted..You say "tumescence", I say "peener"

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Noa May 2, 2012 at 3:55 pm

Weirdly, relevant. Thanks, spammer.

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Ally April 21, 2012 at 5:41 pm

I adore this blog. She makes me feel like I have never been funny a day in my life and I am strangely okay with this.
Ally recently posted..Death warmed up

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Dani April 22, 2012 at 5:28 pm

Thank you Ally! You make me feel strangely okay about the fact that I fall down a lot. Muchas gracias <3
Dani recently posted..You say "tumescence", I say "peener"

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Noa May 2, 2012 at 3:56 pm

I love finding blogs like that. It makes me want to murder and also work really hard.

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Starle April 22, 2012 at 12:56 pm

This was great. This is one of those very rare blogs that I make my mother read. Because she is a freak and possibly funnier than me or your (respective) grandmas.
Starle recently posted..Gnomes and Nits, a mother’s tale

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Dani April 22, 2012 at 5:30 pm

Thank you Starle!

I would die if my mother read my blog, because even though I’m 49, she doesn’t know that I use bad words, look at peeners, or wax eloquent about sagging boobies.

Plus? My mother totally isn’t funny, even by accident.
Dani recently posted..You say "tumescence", I say "peener"

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Noa May 2, 2012 at 3:57 pm

I love the funny freaks–they’re a light in the long vast swaths of dull.

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Dani April 22, 2012 at 5:09 pm

So many amazing comments left on my blog from you funniest of bitches… My blog has never been so busy!!!

I’ve been so obsessed with reading your comments that I’ve literally accomplished nothing this weekend.

//warmfuzzies
Dani recently posted..You say "tumescence", I say "peener"

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Noa May 2, 2012 at 3:58 pm

You win at 2 things. 1) I LOVE when people answer comments on their FBF posts. and 2) YOU’RE SO FUNNY.

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Jana April 23, 2012 at 11:39 am

late to the party….but YEAHHHHHHH Dani!!!
Jana recently posted..Questions…..I’ve got ‘em!

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Noa May 2, 2012 at 3:59 pm

YEAHHHHHHHHHHH

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