Facebooking From The Edge is one of those blogs I read and think, “Shit Noa, you’re a dumbass, why didn’t you think of that?” The answer is, of course, because I’m a dumbass.
Luckily, this ridiculously hilarious bitch is not a dumbass. In fact, she’s really quite sharp. And funny. And wields the word Penis with a fortitude the likes of which I will never possess.
You Say “Tumescence” I say “Peener”
Things I Can’t Get Outta My Head
The Sky Is Falling! The Sky Is Falling!
Strange Sex Part Une and Part Deux
She is also a frequent reader, which makes me love her even harder than my husband’s tumescence. GO. READ. ENJOYS FOR YOU NOW.
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Tonight, I’ll be podcasting with Jen from Jen E Sais Quoi! Pants will not be worn. Sadly, it will not be live, but you can still LIVE TWEET with us #LOFBPodcast! We’ll be recording at 7:30 CST, and the entire hour of fuckery will be up on Monday!
– Favorite Comment From The Last Post: From Jen (you winning bitch you): “ALEX: This guy at work made some Jewish joke and I was like, “Umm, I’m Jewish, Anne Frank-ly those jokes are outside of Mein Kampf-ort zone”. ME: I bet he did Nazi that one coming. ALEX: We’re both going to hell. Cue sound of Alex and myself laughing like coked-up whores, then turning to discover Hasidic Jew standing behind us staring disapprovingly. Aaaaannnnd. . .scene.”
{ 63 comments… read them below or add one }
Love it.
and I’m obviously going to try and be there. That hashtag is going to fuck with my character count something fierce, though. Jesus.
No drunk sleeping, Girl! We need you there!
Jen recently posted..Foodie Friday: Konichiwa!
I can’t just have a normal hashtag. I have to throw some sass into it.
Hahah I love facebooking from the edge! Sometimes I have to make sure not to read her post at work though. Too many pictures of saggy boobies…
Mayor Gia recently posted..My Apartment is Trying to Kill Me
It’s my gift to the world, Gia… I’m bringing saggy boobs back. It’s only right.
Dani recently posted..You say "tumescence", I say "peener"
S’why I am so lucky to work from home, because all I do all day is look at pictures of saggy boobies.
In the past few months that we’ve been following each other’s blogs, we’ve come to the conclusion that Dani and I are both the same people living slightly different timelines in the same universe. She is my future me, and I lurv her.
Mandi E. recently posted..Burning and aching are reserved for loins only.
And in a parallel universe, Future Dani is singing, “Oh Mandy, blah blah blah…” because she can’t remember the worlds but loves you forever.
Dani recently posted..You say "tumescence", I say "peener"
It’s that weird when you find that person and think, “My God, you’re me.” It’s like a special way of finding out how awesome you actually are.
I LOVE this bitch!
NATurally Inappropriate recently posted..WTF Wednesday: She’s not country. Quesadillas
I LOVE YOU MORE!!
Dani recently posted..You say "tumescence", I say "peener"
ME MORE.
Woo-hoo, Dani!! I have loved her for YEARS. And I only discovered her existence about 8 months ago. THAT’S how fucking funny that bitch is!
Misty recently posted..Weekly Whacked: There Needs to Be a Law!
I am pretty sure in another place, in another time before camera phones, we were hanging out on the prairie picking apart everyone else’s fashion choices and going home and drawing pictures of them on our slates.
I’m almost positive we invented the very first Burn Books.
Dani recently posted..You say "tumescence", I say "peener"
You are the second time traveler in these comments. TELL ME YOUR SECRETS.
I’m always expanding my blogroll so I’ll check her out.
CrazyTragicAlmostMagic recently posted..BDR: Bloggers Dispute Resolution
Do you like me? Huh? Huh? Do ya? Huh? Do ya? *pantpant* Well? Well?
Dani recently posted..You say "tumescence", I say "peener"
You will keep her on the quick rotation, yo.
dude i love you so hard for all of your funny bitch friday posts.. although my blogroll might be getting wayyy too long.
that’s what she said.
leigh recently posted..Q is for quality…
I can honestly say, with much extreme sadness, that I’ve never gotten to say that.
Sigh.
Dani recently posted..You say "tumescence", I say "peener"
And my husband’s dick has a new name.
Dani is the schizzle fo’ rizzle! She and I share that bond that only a person living with someone on the autism spectrum can possess. Welcome to the League, Dani! :)
Jen recently posted..Fasting: You’re Doing It Wrong
THANK YOU JENNNNN!!!
And I love you most of all for removing CAPTCHA for me.
Oh, and for making me laugh so hard I practically pee, and then turning around and making me want to march next to you in a parade while we single handedly destroy horrible people who make fun of those with special needs while we bring Autism Awareness to the masses.
You are one of my heroes <3
Dani recently posted..You say "tumescence", I say "peener"
I suddenly feel out of the club.
You can be our mascot.
Jen recently posted..I’ve Been TAGGED, Yo!
Holy Shit Balls!! I clicked on O Noa to check out the Funny Bitch of the Week and it actually took me a few minutes to realize it was MEEEEEEE!!!! I was all, “Facebooking From The Edge… that sounds familiar… I think I’ve read that blog before…”
This is like the Academy Award of Blogdom…
I’m wayyyyy under dressed for this.
Excuse me while I go don my Red Carpet attire and borrowed diamonds.
*SQUEEEEEEEE*
Dani recently posted..You say "tumescence", I say "peener"
That’s my humble, girl. Congrats, chica.
Mandi E. recently posted..WTF Friday: Adventures in Landlording – Threats of Violence as Currency
Also, there should have been no comma in that first sentence. I’m utterly devoid of common sense today.
Mandi E. recently posted..WTF Friday: Adventures in Landlording – Threats of Violence as Currency
That’s cuz your ass is still pissy from the dentist. Lulz.
NATurally Inappropriate recently posted..F*ck You Friday
No joke. I still can’t open my mouth all the way.
Mandi E. recently posted..WTF Friday: Adventures in Landlording – Threats of Violence as Currency
That’s what she said.
Jen recently posted..Foodie Friday: Konichiwa!
It took all my willpower to not say the same thing.
I’m still wearing my tiara…
Dani recently posted..You say "tumescence", I say "peener"
YOU WIN AT LIFE, DANI.
I wrote this naked, as I write 60% of my posts. I hope you feel violated and also honored.
Hey friend.
vary good opinion fro you.
I think face-booking is an way of increasing empower online.
What is your opinon about SMM?
Thanks,
Cole
Cole recently posted..How To Pick Up Girls
Spammers eat a big bowl of dicks. What is your opinion about that, friend?
Mandi E. recently posted..WTF Friday: Adventures in Landlording – Threats of Violence as Currency
((s-l-o-w c-l-a-p))
Jen recently posted..Foodie Friday: Konichiwa!
Dear Cole,
One word: Spellcheck.
Love,
Dani
Dani recently posted..You say "tumescence", I say "peener"
Agreed:
F7 ≠ Copy Edit
OH COLE. You always get me.
This is why I never get anything accomplished on Fridays.
I never get anything accomplished on Fridays because I’m lazy and unemployed.
I suck.
Dani recently posted..You say "tumescence", I say "peener"
My Productivity Theory:
Hypothesis:
Wednesday is the only productive day of the week.
Backup:
Monday: Hangover from the weekend (if you’re doing it right)
Tuesday: Feeling better, still recovering from a Case of the Mondays
Wednesday: Hooray I’m getting shit done!
Thursday: You’re tired from all that productivity yesterday / anticipating your weekend plans
Friday*: You’ve got too much cool stuff planed to get shit done on Friday / it’s 5 o’clock somewhere
WEEKEND! If you’re using the weekend to be productive, you’re doing the weekend wrong.
*Addendum 1: You have just been introduced to yet another Funny Bitch. Therefore, the work day is spent reading another hilarious blog (not a real word).
You’re welcome.
Dani is the coolest! I’m so glad you chose her, LOVE IT!!!
GirltoMom- Heidi recently posted..Jenny Lawson The Bloggess Rocked My World, Baby
Thanks Heidi!!
xoxo
Dani recently posted..You say "tumescence", I say "peener"
I’m glad you like her as much as I do!
Oh my bitch you’re sharp & funny. Love you!
Emily Woodhouse recently posted..Life Insurance Rates By Age – The prospect of age on insurance
I’m going to pretend you’re talking to me.
Thank you!
I love being someone’s bitch, especially someone who thinks I’m sharp and funny!!!
Dani recently posted..You say "tumescence", I say "peener"
I almost like it when Spammers are at least relevant.
I totally love this.
-Kimi
Kimi Young recently posted..how to seduce a woman
Thank you Kimi!!
Dani recently posted..You say "tumescence", I say "peener"
Weirdly, relevant. Thanks, spammer.
I adore this blog. She makes me feel like I have never been funny a day in my life and I am strangely okay with this.
Ally recently posted..Death warmed up
Thank you Ally! You make me feel strangely okay about the fact that I fall down a lot. Muchas gracias <3
Dani recently posted..You say "tumescence", I say "peener"
I love finding blogs like that. It makes me want to murder and also work really hard.
This was great. This is one of those very rare blogs that I make my mother read. Because she is a freak and possibly funnier than me or your (respective) grandmas.
Starle recently posted..Gnomes and Nits, a mother’s tale
Thank you Starle!
I would die if my mother read my blog, because even though I’m 49, she doesn’t know that I use bad words, look at peeners, or wax eloquent about sagging boobies.
Plus? My mother totally isn’t funny, even by accident.
Dani recently posted..You say "tumescence", I say "peener"
I love the funny freaks–they’re a light in the long vast swaths of dull.
So many amazing comments left on my blog from you funniest of bitches… My blog has never been so busy!!!
I’ve been so obsessed with reading your comments that I’ve literally accomplished nothing this weekend.
//warmfuzzies
Dani recently posted..You say "tumescence", I say "peener"
You win at 2 things. 1) I LOVE when people answer comments on their FBF posts. and 2) YOU’RE SO FUNNY.
late to the party….but YEAHHHHHHH Dani!!!
Jana recently posted..Questions…..I’ve got ‘em!
YEAHHHHHHHHHHH