Funny Bitch Friday: The New All-Stars

01/13/2012 · 44 comments

in Funny Bitch Friday

Well, motherfuckers, you did it.

YOU VOTED NEW ALL-STARS!!

 

This Is How I Feel Right Now.

27b/6

Cake Wrecks

Confessions Of A Cornfed Girl

Flourish In Progress

HoodyHoo

Hyperbole And A Half

I’m Just A Girl And I’ve Had It Up To Here

Jen E Sais Quoi

Just Making Convo

Mommy Wants Vodka

Reasoning With Vampires

Regretsy

Steam Me Up, Kid

The Bloggess

Wag The Dad

You bitches will be in the sidebar for the first half of 2012, and then we’ll vote again. Cause we’re fresh.

Congrats to the new, welcome back to the old. Not old ladies. I mean…those who have been on for a whole 6 months and will do so again. I’m sorry I insulted you and meant to make you smile.

Please, for my own fucking sake, keep bringing the funny. I fucking love it all.

Favorite Comment From The Last Post:
From L-Kat: “Dear little Brother, I’m sorry for the times that I didn’t tell you Santa wasn’t real. But watching a 15-year-old boy still believe in Santa was pretty damn funny. Love and elves, L-Kat

 

Alicia January 13, 2012 at 1:02 am

I just laughed at that picture for a good 10 minutes.

Noa January 24, 2012 at 12:39 am

It’s why I’m uncomfortably in love with you.

Front Desk Ninja January 13, 2012 at 3:34 am

Fuck yes!
I’m so glad Jen made it on there.
Time to go have a celebratory chocolate bar, and slap a hooker for being too loud.
Front Desk Ninja recently posted..This Isn’t A Real Post, It’s Just A Rant About The Rudeness Of The New Whores

Jen January 13, 2012 at 8:10 am

Sorry; we’ll try to keep it down next time. What can I say? Nathan’s a screamer.
Jen recently posted..Stupidest Crap Ever Spoken By Me and My Friends: Part 8

Front Desk Ninja January 16, 2012 at 3:23 am

If you could, that would be fantastic.
Or I can offer a better ball gag. Y’know. I’m classy like that, with my options here.
Front Desk Ninja recently posted..This Isn’t A Real Post, It’s Just A Rant About The Rudeness Of The New Whores

Noa January 19, 2012 at 2:22 am

@FDN: She’s rad as a mug. We all love her.

@Jen: HOW DO YOU GET WASH AND NATHAN?

Hoody Hoo January 13, 2012 at 6:30 am

YAY! I’m on a roll, bitches! Hellz to the yeah! Now I gotta go, somebody just slapped me…
Hoody Hoo recently posted..Gimme a “W”

Jen January 13, 2012 at 8:05 am

“Hey now, you’re an All-Star; get your game on, go play…”

Aaaaand now I must go flagellate myself for quoting SmashMouth. I feel so dirty…
Jen recently posted..Stupidest Crap Ever Spoken By Me and My Friends: Part 8

Mandi E. January 13, 2012 at 1:49 pm

I can think of worse bands and artists to quote. Like Coldplay.
Mandi E. recently posted..Bonus Post for the Day: I’m sorry, Jen.

Jen January 13, 2012 at 1:54 pm

Oh Jesus, how do I hate that vegan twatbag, Chris Martin? Let me count the ways…
Jen recently posted..Foodie Friday: It’s the Mac (n-cheese) Daddy, Yo!

Noa January 19, 2012 at 2:26 am

@Hoody: I am so fucking thrilled you are in the All-Stars again. I cried. Maybe.

@Jen: THANKS.

@Mandi: Or–Uncle Kracker.

Mayor Gia January 13, 2012 at 6:42 am

Congrats to the winners!!! A great list.
Mayor Gia recently posted..Random Friday Things

Noa January 19, 2012 at 2:28 am

HEAR HEAR.

Mandi E. January 13, 2012 at 6:52 am

The lead in with that picture was so perfect that it gave me a lady-boner. Also, good picks – that was everyone I voted for except for one or two. And me, because as unerringly hilarious as I am, I found myself suspiciously absent from the ballot. “Cranky, Conceited Bitch with a Blog” – Cast your vote in 2012! Seriously, though – vote for your favorite Funny Bitches in the Bloggies too, if for no other reason than to show Misty some love.
Mandi E. recently posted..WTF Friday – The dumptruck who broke the ladies toilet.

Misty January 13, 2012 at 8:00 pm

I’ve never loved you more! :)
Misty recently posted..Weekly Whacked: I’m Baaaa-aaaack!!

Noa January 19, 2012 at 2:29 am

@Mandi: Oh Mandi.

And I just realized that’s a Manilow Song. YOU’RE DOUBLE RAD NOW.

Charity Woosley January 13, 2012 at 8:42 am

I am SO happy for you, Jen! YAY!!!!

Also, I dressed like the office skank today, in your honor.
Charity Woosley recently posted..In the words of JW: My Life. Fuck it.

Mandi E. January 13, 2012 at 8:43 am

Pics or it didn’t happen.
Mandi E. recently posted..WTF Friday – The dumptruck who broke the ladies toilet.

Jen January 13, 2012 at 11:05 am

Oh Sweet Jesus. . .it’s not the Hello Kitty Crocs, right? PLEASE TELL ME YOU AREN’T WEARING THE HELLO KITTY CROCS!!!!!
Jen recently posted..Stupidest Crap Ever Spoken By Me and My Friends: Part 8

Noa January 19, 2012 at 2:31 am

@Charity: FUCK YES. I was thrilled when I saw she made it. She had a LOT of support.

@Mandi and Jen: Charity…I’m gonna agree. We need photos.

Carrie - Cannibalistic Nerd January 13, 2012 at 8:51 am

Congrats to the winners! Please use your powers for mostly good and just a little bit of evil.
Carrie – Cannibalistic Nerd recently posted..Writer’s Block

Noa January 19, 2012 at 2:32 am

And by good you mean…evil, right?

Carrie - Cannibalistic Nerd January 19, 2012 at 10:20 am

I meant bad. Bad and evil.
Carrie – Cannibalistic Nerd recently posted..This is how Zombie Disease is Spread

elizabeth- flourishinprogress January 13, 2012 at 10:13 am

Hot diggity damn. This just made my 2012. Thank you so much, Noa, for including me with these truly amazing bitches.
elizabeth- flourishinprogress recently posted..Monday Dare: 1/10/02

Noa January 19, 2012 at 2:33 am

Hey–you did the work, and they voted you in! (you totally deserved it)

Carri January 13, 2012 at 10:20 am
Noa January 19, 2012 at 2:33 am

Boners for all.

Johi January 13, 2012 at 11:52 am

First of all, thank you for posting that picture. Although I have seen plenty of weiner boners, I never knew what an eagle boner looked like and know I feel smarter~ Like I could narrate Animal Kingdom or something.

B. OH mAH Gawd. Thank you so much for calling me a bitch! Although I have always been proud to carry that title, it means so much more when combined with the words ‘funny’ and ‘all-star’. My fucking resume is going to be trick, yo.

3. I love it that I am sandwiched between vulgar cake and Liz. It just feels right.
Johi recently posted..20 Things to do with your Christmas Tree

Johi January 13, 2012 at 4:12 pm

ahem… wIener. I’m useless without spell check.
Johi recently posted..20 Things to do with your Christmas Tree

Noa January 19, 2012 at 2:34 am

@Johi: I SCREAMED WHEN I SAW YOUR NAME. I don’t check the voting until the bitter end, and I was jazzed as shit. You deserved it.

gwen January 13, 2012 at 12:11 pm

Sweet baby Jesus! I love that Cornfed and CakeWrecks made the list. Now I have more to read thanks to the new list!!!!

Noa January 19, 2012 at 2:34 am

Enjoy!

Dana the Biped January 13, 2012 at 12:57 pm

I wandered over here around lunchtime, thinking I wanted a hot dog. Now I really, really want a hot dog.

I guess that’s a whole ‘nother kind of food sickness, huh?
Dana the Biped recently posted..Prepare to be Amazed

Noa January 19, 2012 at 2:35 am

You have a wiener boner?

LKat January 13, 2012 at 1:40 pm

I was your favorite comment?!!! That is freaking awesome. I’ll have to tell my little brother…hopefully he has forgiven me for not telling him about Santa!

Great list – I love funny bitches! Congrats to the winners.

Mandi E. January 13, 2012 at 1:46 pm

Is it wrong that I read your comment as “Congrats to the wieners” and now I want a hot dog?
Mandi E. recently posted..Bonus Post for the Day: I’m sorry, Jen.

Noa January 19, 2012 at 2:35 am

@LKAT: CAUSE YOU’RE FUNNY N’SHIT.

@Mandy: Weiners for all!

Mandi E. January 13, 2012 at 1:47 pm

Is it wrong that I read your comment as “congrats to the wieners” and now I really want a polish sausage from Costco? Am I a bad person?
Mandi E. recently posted..Bonus Post for the Day: I’m sorry, Jen.

Noa January 19, 2012 at 2:36 am

No. As long as it’s not a bratwurst.

Tonya the Hobo Girl January 13, 2012 at 3:12 pm

Congrats! Those are some damn funny blogs and worthy of praise indeed.
Tonya the Hobo Girl recently posted..Crap that Irritates Me – Letter Case Usage

Noa January 19, 2012 at 2:37 am

Agreed, Hobo girl.

Consciously Sedated January 17, 2012 at 11:05 am

Great list. I follow four on the list. Can’t wait to check out the others. That said, does anyone know where the hell Steam Me up Kid has disappeared to?

Noa January 19, 2012 at 2:38 am

She posts quite rarely. I hope soon. That’s the thing with humor bloggers…after a while, some of them just fade away. I hate it.

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