Funny Bitch Friday: Alcoholics Conspicuous

12/16/2011 · 26 comments

in Funny Bitch Friday

Anyone who makes fun of that fucking Folgers Commercial and Christine O’Donnell is my hero.

This, by default, makes Eireann from Alcoholics Conspicuous my fucking hero. She’s obscenely hilarious and I want to hug her for being so goddamn funny.

I may want to do more than hug. Who knows. We’ll see where the night takes us, yes?

The Year Socialist Santa Came To The Dolan House

Homemade Christine O’Donnell Meme

Folgers Wishes You A Culturally Obtuse And Incestuous Christmas

Oldface Pippa Middleton the Subject of New Documentaryface

Shutup, Cat Marnell! You’re Making Us All Look Bad!

Goddamn I hate that Folgers commercial. Go fuck yourself, weird coffee. Keep bringing the funny, y’all!

Favorite Comment From The Last Post:
From Becca: “I kid you not I have used the following method on both my dogs and kids. Spray Bottle. Fill with a little water, squirt at arm (for child) or hind quarters (for dog) to stop the behavior that has you thinking about committing homicide. Be consistent and be fast (gotta catch the kidlets and the animals in the act)! Usually by the third squirt they start to get the picture. I got it to the point where all I have to do now is just bring out the bottle, no squirting required for both animals and kids to stop screwing around…” 

 

Carrie - Cannibalistic Nerd December 16, 2011 at 12:26 pm

Love the Christine O’Donnell post. And, I agree that Pippa has oldface. I mean, I have zitface, so I’m one to talk, but Pippa does look like the older sister.
Carrie – Cannibalistic Nerd recently posted..You Just Can’t Find Superman Robes for Invisible Children These Days

Noa December 19, 2011 at 1:03 am

I don’t get all the buzz about Pippa’s ass. It’s just a plain ol’ ass.

Dana the Biped December 16, 2011 at 1:01 pm

This Cat person has me relieved that I come from deep in the boonies and don’t know who she is. She seems rather aggressively stupid.
Dana the Biped recently posted..Country Biped Goes to Town

Noa December 19, 2011 at 1:04 am

You’ve pegged her exactly.

Jen December 16, 2011 at 1:09 pm

Alcoholics are the raddest fucking people on the planet. All of those years of excessive ethanol consumption kill off the brain/mouth filter until all bets are off. ((*fist bump*)) Much love my fellow Bill W. Bitch.
Jen recently posted..Foodie Friday: Through the Looking Glass

Noa December 19, 2011 at 1:10 am

Eireann, please be careful with Jen. She’ll rage hard, but it’ll probably be the most fun you’ve ever had.

Mayor Gia December 16, 2011 at 5:10 pm

I’ve never heard of alcoholics conspicuous before! I love it when you point me too a new blogger. I mean, I like it when you feature a blogger I’m already following too because it confirms the fact that I have an awesome sense of humor, but NEW ones are an extra treat!
Mayor Gia recently posted..My Bed is a Piece of Shizz

Noa December 19, 2011 at 1:11 am

Thank you! I’m glad I can grow your reading list with awesome bitches.

Bill Dameron December 16, 2011 at 6:50 pm

Alcoholics Anonymous = quitters……

This is a shout out to my girl Becca! One of the funniest and coolest girls I know.

Noa December 19, 2011 at 1:12 am

Well there you go.

Danielle Geer (@deathbycupakes) December 16, 2011 at 11:17 pm

The Folgers Commercial in review was inspired. That’s one of those sappy commercials that I mock viciously and relentlessly… I mean, the son looks older than his parents.

I imagine it’s supposed to make me teary eyed with the sweetness of the brother-sister moment but all I can focus on is her boobs jiggling beneath her t-shirt and him glancing sexily down at them.

Ewww. Okay, I just made myself gag.

The best part of waking up… is wondering what the hell country your coffee is from since it’s not from West Africaaaa iinnnnn yourrrr cupppppppp!!!
Danielle Geer (@deathbycupakes) recently posted..It all ended with me being left speechless…

Noa December 19, 2011 at 1:12 am

It won’t be Hep C she gets…

Bill G. December 17, 2011 at 9:57 am

Christine O’Donnell looks like Elaine from Seinfeld, just a little older and with a few more years of hard drinking under her belt.

Noa December 19, 2011 at 1:12 am

I NEVER SAW THAT ‘TIL NOW. Damn.

Bill G. December 17, 2011 at 10:02 am

That Folgers coffee commercial is creeping me out. The sexual tension between brother and sister is obvious. He already did her. She wants Round 2 and he’s thinking, “I came home at 2 AM after my going-away party got way out of hand with margaritas, sister was up drinking heated milk because she couldn’t sleep, one thing led to another…. Mom, get your ass down here!!!”

And nobody looks that fresh after a trip from west Africa. I took a 14 hour flight from LAX to Seoul South Korea last year that landed at 5:30 AM. We all looked like something the cat dragged in.

Noa December 19, 2011 at 1:13 am

Her body language just says “fucked” and not in a necessarily bad sense. Gross.

natalie December 17, 2011 at 1:57 pm

Fuck Folgers. I’m in love!
natalie recently posted..This ain’t no disneyland wedding…

Noa December 19, 2011 at 1:14 am

You’ll need that coffee in the morning then.

Carri December 19, 2011 at 12:00 am

Cat Marnell can choke on a dick and die. Seriously. She makes the entire female race look sofa king stupid.
Carri recently posted..Fashion Tragedy at Panera Bread/Caption This Photo

Noa December 19, 2011 at 1:14 am

HEAR HEAR.

Eireann December 20, 2011 at 2:29 am

Oh Noa. Thank you thank you thank you for featuring my thing. I’ll let you do more than hug me. If you play your cards right. And if you bring as many people as you promised me you would.
Eireann recently posted..Master P On Kim Jong Un’s Rise To Power

Noa December 22, 2011 at 7:27 pm

I hope I brought you a few!

Eireann December 23, 2011 at 2:58 am

I meant if you bring a bunch of people when we go further than just hugging. I want a crowd. I hope they are okay with my crying the whole time.
Eireann recently posted..Top 5: Subtle Ways To Tell Your Congressman He’s Fat

Noa December 23, 2011 at 1:35 pm

Oh of course. But only if you’re okay with total slow motion.

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