And Now The Whole Fall Lineup Makes Sense.

11/23/2011 · 72 comments

in HorribleSketch, What Is Wrong With You?

Let’s all take a moment to be thankful that we don’t have to work for TLC.

Special thanks to Terry and Nick, who volunteered so gracefully (Nick was a fucking trooper in the princess costume, Terry had just had surgery 2 days before), and have helped us so much. 


What’s the most ridiculous premise for a TV series/show/special that you’ve ever seen? If you have video links, please share them so we can all enjoy the fuckery over this Thanksgiving.


Favorite Comment From The Last Post:
From Jake: “Point out to the princesses that at least three of them are married to Prince Charming. Insist on calling them “sister wives.”

 

Alicia November 23, 2011 at 2:19 am

Thank you Nick and Terry!…they probably won’t see this, but I tried and that’s all that matters!

Noa November 24, 2011 at 11:31 pm

I made Terry look.

Which sounds like something I should be arrested for.

Tazer WP November 23, 2011 at 2:21 am

TLC is fucking stupid.
Wait….
Cable is fucking stupid. Give me my 6 shows and fuck the rest of that noise.

The Duggars scare me.
Tazer WP recently posted..Absences, explained

Jen November 23, 2011 at 6:08 pm

YOU SHUT YOUR WHORE MOUTH, TAZER!!! T.L.C. is the schizz-nit. I rely upon those crazy bitches on ‘Toddlers & Tiaras’ and ‘45,978 Kids & Counting’ to make me look like a complete fucking ROCK STAR of a parent! As long as I’m not dressing my daughter like a dime-store hooker and having her twirl a flaming baton to Cee-Lo’s “F@#$ You” or shooting crotchnuggets out of my uterus like a battery-powered Pez dispenser I am Mother of the Goddamn Year, yo.
Jen recently posted..Dear Lindsay Lohan. . .

Front Desk Ninja November 24, 2011 at 3:24 am

You’re already a Mother of the Goddamn Year, yo.

You can be the American one, because if I say anywhere that you top my own mother I’m sure she’ll find it, hunt me down and drag me away from whatever I’m doing by my ears.

I love you, mom.
Front Desk Ninja recently posted..Oh, The Times, They Are A’ Changin’…

Brandon S November 24, 2011 at 9:56 pm

Can I vote Jen’s comment “shooting crotchnuggets out of my uterus like a battery powered Pez dispenser” as the best comment. EVER. Saddly I was wondering if they came with BBQ sauce.
Brandon S recently posted..All That Glitters Isn’t Gold … It’s Pink!

Jen November 24, 2011 at 10:31 pm

Tee-Hee! Feeling all flirty and girly right now, Brandon. I <3 you. And Ninja, I'll happily be your mutha-from-anutha-brutha any day my bitch! Much love, sister.
Jen recently posted..Dear Lindsay Lohan. . .

Noa November 24, 2011 at 11:33 pm

@Tazer: I FUCKING AGREE. Remember when they played amazing documentaries and such?

@Jen: The purpose of the network is now to make you feel better about your life. It works so well for me.

@FDN: I am both intrigued and frightened to know what the outcome of being raised by Jen is.

@Brandon: Jen wins at life every. fucking. day.

Jen November 24, 2011 at 11:42 pm

You will know the outcome of being my progeny in the next 3 to 8 years when my short people star on an episode of “Snapped” on Oxygen. Until then I will continue to grab life by the short and curlies and accept any and all parenting advice from Kate Gosselin and Kris Jenner.
Jen recently posted..Dear Lindsay Lohan. . .

Brandon S November 26, 2011 at 12:57 am

Jen I’d guess that would be a hell of a lot better then seeing your children on Cops. Or Maury. Or heaven forbid an episode of Hoarders. *shudders*
Brandon S recently posted..All That Glitters Isn’t Gold … It’s Pink!

Non-Crisped Texan November 23, 2011 at 3:45 am

“What’s the most ridiculous premise for a TV series/show/special that you’ve ever seen?”

BBC, don’t remember which one. London. Hungover as hell. Weekday morning

Purported show was about learning about life and human existence, was geared for I’d guess k-5th grade. Had a frighteningly long and disturbing bit for the intended audience about the importance of the clitoris in human reproduction.

Many years past, hungover as above, don’t remember much other details other than where I was staying. Was a really odd thing to see on an *early* morning children’s television program, while wishing the clock would speed up so I could go to the shop across the street and purchase co-codaprin and 2 superlagers for my health, and to remove the man with the jack-hammer from my cranium.

It was ostensibly about the origin of life, but it seemed to basically be one probably wymyn’s studies scholars way of making sure small children knew what a clit was.

I actually sorta wish I could remember what the show was called so I could google about who made such a thing for tykes. It was like “sponge bob explains the world (NOW WITH CLITS)”

Elly Lou November 23, 2011 at 5:48 am

Need. Video. Desperately.

Jen November 23, 2011 at 2:13 pm

Amen, my sistah. They don’t let me have Flash Player at work. They think I’d just sit here all day watching “Castle” on hulu. . .’cuz. . .umm, yeah. . .I would.
Jen recently posted..Dear Lindsay Lohan. . .

Noa November 24, 2011 at 11:34 pm

I’m with y’all. I would watch that shit all day.

Noa November 24, 2011 at 11:34 pm

@NCT: I want so much to call bullshit and think something like this could never exist, but I also know that you can’t make this shit up. Holy God, I need to see this.

Non-Crisped Texan November 28, 2011 at 1:46 am

I remember where I got hammered the night before (El Pirata), but I honestly can’t remember the name. Was BBC though. Early morning before the shop of codeine and super lagers opened so I could function another day. Fall of 2003. I wish I remembered more. I just remember it striking me as a really odd thing to go on about at length in a little kid’s show, so it was sorta mesmerizing, not unlike a car wreck.

Non-Crisped Texan November 28, 2011 at 1:49 am

Other interesting thing, not TV related, on that visit that you had to see to believe: I watched a barely of legal drinking age girl get drunk doing shots of Bailey’s. Nothing else, just Bailey’s Irish…You also have to see that to really believe anybody would do such a thing. Wonder what kind of hangover that causes. I’m not gonna try it, though.

Gia November 23, 2011 at 6:51 am

Hmmm..let’s see, I saw a lot of commercials for this show that features a bunch of stereotypical douchebag italian fist pumpers with bad fake tans give each other stds. Shit, what was the name of it? Something about how they go to the ocean in the summer (even though it suspiciously lacked any scenes on the actual beach). Anyway, I’m pretty sure it was actually staged with a bunch of monkeys who learned how to use robots on a green screen. Yeah.
Gia recently posted..Allie’s Love Triangle: Of Ducks and Geese

Noa November 24, 2011 at 11:35 pm

Goddamn, I hate Jersey Shore.

And–*GASP*–it was just found out that the show was scripted. WHAT? WHO KNEW?

Monica November 23, 2011 at 8:21 am

I’m such so old that I remember when TLC was The Learning Channel. It had cool stuff, like documentaries about biology and astronomy. Now’s it’s the dumbfuck channel.
Monica recently posted..Men are from mars, women are from — ARRGH! BLOOD! SO MUCH BLOOD!

Noa November 24, 2011 at 11:36 pm

I remember when TLC was like that, and I also remember when History talked about history and not motherfucking aliens.

Heather Rose November 23, 2011 at 8:25 am

No, it’s cool. I didnt need that red bull I just spit up all over my monitor.

Have any of y’all tried to watch Hart of Dixie? I was a closet OC fan, and I only got through about 4 minutes of the slo-mo soft-core porn with horrid fake southern accents that is this show. Then my brain cells started committing suicide and I had to go watch some Real Housewives to feel better about myself.
Heather Rose recently posted..Don’t name your child Adolf Hitler, or I’ll acid-rain-bomb you

Front Desk Ninja November 24, 2011 at 3:27 am

I KNEW I WAS RIGHT TO AVOID THAT LIKE SYPHLLIS!

#smugmoments
Front Desk Ninja recently posted..Oh, The Times, They Are A’ Changin’…

Noa November 24, 2011 at 11:38 pm

It’s the windowless van of TV.

Noa November 24, 2011 at 11:37 pm

You have no idea what a huge compliment to me that was, Heather. Thank you.

Also, yes, I’ve seen the preview for Hart of Dixie, but just like every show on ABC Family, I can’t even stomach the previews. HRRCK.

Carrie - Cannibalistic Nerd November 23, 2011 at 8:57 am

I don’t watch any reality shows about little people. I know know why. None of them are dancing and baking cakes. When this inevitably happens, I hope y’all have a good lawyer.
Carrie – Cannibalistic Nerd recently posted..What are you thankful for, Superman?

Carrie - Cannibalistic Nerd November 23, 2011 at 8:57 am

And I know know it should have been “now know.”
Carrie – Cannibalistic Nerd recently posted..What are you thankful for, Superman?

Noa November 24, 2011 at 11:38 pm

I’m sure it’ll premiere next season. Fuckers.

Jaime November 23, 2011 at 10:44 am

TLC scares me … there isn’t a show on there that makes sense anymore. Most of the shows on tv don’t make sense anymore thanks to reality tv.
Jaime recently posted..I have a superhero in my pants.

Noa November 24, 2011 at 11:39 pm

TV has taken a lovely swan dive into massive head wounds. It was funny a couple of years ago, and now I’d like something to watch.

John Corcoran, Jr. November 23, 2011 at 10:46 am

Seven white guys with red ties, a confused woman and a black pizza guy with wandering hands discuss news of the 18th Century. Don’t know all the players but the fat guy who cheated on his dying wife gets lots of laughs with morality comments, and the good looking one keeps forgetting his lines. Don’t remember the name of the show. It keeps getting cancelled and then picked up by another network. I read it was nominated for an Emmy as “Best Unreality Show.”

Noa November 24, 2011 at 11:39 pm

I must know this. Must. Remember the title by chance?

Jen November 24, 2011 at 11:45 pm

That would be the presidential election.
Jen recently posted..Dear Lindsay Lohan. . .

Becca November 23, 2011 at 11:57 am

Bad Sex on Logo, and yes I watch this channel a lot even though I’m totally straight because who doesn’t love a good Mariah Carey concert or Celine Dion Documentary when they’re cleaning up on the weekend………… ANYWAY….. this show is about people who are addicted to sex getting therapy in group sessions, and chronicles one member of the group each show, which inevitably shows them being addicted to sex…. the premise is weak, the reality part of it boring… and it’s usually the filler before my beloved Margaret Cho I’m Beautiful Comedy Show………..
Becca recently posted..“That’s Your Daughter…”

Noa November 24, 2011 at 11:40 pm

So, it’s intervention but with pixellated genitals?

Dana the Biped November 23, 2011 at 12:38 pm

I want to see a show where Nick–dressed just like that–plays a fairy godmother in a reality show. He would knock on someone’s door, tell them to make a wish. Then when they did, he would yell, “What, do I look like, Tinkerbell? Does this look like a real magic wand? DOES IT?!” And then run away, screaming, “Bibbity, bobbity, boo, motherfuckers!”

I’d totally watch that show. Especially if he made guest appearance’s on WE TV’s “Bridezillas.”
Dana the Biped recently posted..Everybody Should Have One – Or Seven

Noa November 24, 2011 at 11:41 pm

If you make good enough cookies, he might be game for both.

Wendy November 23, 2011 at 1:34 pm

Okay, this is a disturbing clip of a show called “cheaters”

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YAILCNSiQzw
Wendy recently posted..How to Write Your Stupid Book: Tip 2

Jen November 23, 2011 at 2:10 pm

Gil? Is that you?
Jen recently posted..Dear Lindsay Lohan. . .

Noa November 24, 2011 at 11:42 pm

CHEATERS IS SHOT HERE IN DALLAS. It is my life goal to end up in the background.

Wendy November 24, 2011 at 11:50 pm

It should’ve been shot right here in Vancouver. My ex could’ve starred mwahahaha
Wendy recently posted..When Good Turkeys Go Bad

Carri November 23, 2011 at 1:56 pm

Baby chute? OMFG That is the funniest shit ever. EVER.

And for the record, I would totally watch a show about dancing midget bakers. I’m clASSy like that.
Carri recently posted..I Still Hate Kohl’s

Noa November 24, 2011 at 11:42 pm

Terry is that funny all the time. It makes him the best friend ever.

Miss Sassy Pants November 23, 2011 at 2:08 pm

How about a show about people who refer to themselves in third person, have self-made nicknames and spend their days going to the gym, tanning and doing laun– Oh, wait.
Miss Sassy Pants recently posted..When the Soviet Zombies attacked, I called the police.

Noa November 24, 2011 at 11:43 pm

God I love MTV. They have always produced such quality entertainment.

Except for Beavis and Butthead and Ren and Stimpy. I love those.

Jen November 23, 2011 at 2:12 pm

HILLBILLY HANDFISHIN':

Redneck #1: “Hey, let’s get a bunch of drunk-ass crackers to stand nuts-deep in this fetid cesspool and jam their mitts into some greasy catfish’s maw.”
Redneck #2: “Dude, we should totally film this shit.”
Jen recently posted..Dear Lindsay Lohan. . .

Noa November 24, 2011 at 11:44 pm

My mom’s husband is from the town they shoot that in. Hand to God.

Jen November 24, 2011 at 11:47 pm

Jeebus H. Krispies, so much love for that statement. Your family is officially royalty.
Jen recently posted..Dear Lindsay Lohan. . .

Channery January 16, 2012 at 11:35 pm

Good to see real expertise on display. Your cnortbiution is most welcome.

kwfsujzbfo January 19, 2012 at 4:52 am

XEqFuz jigsyvceilnz

Dead Cow Girl November 23, 2011 at 6:10 pm

most ridiculous premise for a TV series that I’ve seen? Aging sex worker tries desperately to poop out another baby with the help of several good looking over priced reproductive endocrinologists.

Oh fuck. Wait. That’s my life.

Seriously. I’m not sure why TLC hasn’t asked me to do a reality TV show.
Dead Cow Girl recently posted..Dirty Talk: Humiliation

Noa November 24, 2011 at 11:44 pm

At this point, I’m sure the optioning is in the works for you, homes.

Alicia November 23, 2011 at 6:24 pm

I just remembered the worst show EVER! Prostitutes to Parrots!…google it. It’s on The Animal Planet.

Noa November 24, 2011 at 11:44 pm

WHHAAAAAAT?

Bullshit. You made that up.

Wendy November 24, 2011 at 11:52 pm

Heidi Fleiss stars in it or something
Wendy recently posted..When Good Turkeys Go Bad

Alicia November 27, 2011 at 3:00 am

I did not make that up! It’s real and it’s horrifying.

Feryx November 23, 2011 at 6:25 pm

bitchez be crraayyyzzeeehhhhh. Who is the man who says that? Tell him I want him to come perform at my 5 year old nieces birthday party.
Feryx recently posted..My jointy parts are making me sad

Noa November 24, 2011 at 11:45 pm

That is Terry Catlett, the funniest motherfucker I know (and he’s like that all the time). He would totally do that, too.

Jen November 24, 2011 at 11:50 pm

He and Nick are both HAWT!
Jen recently posted..Dear Lindsay Lohan. . .

Andi November 23, 2011 at 7:22 pm

I was in college on the East Coast, awake at some ungodly hour, and watched an advice show with a nun. Just a nun, sitting behind a desk, dispensing advice like the evening news. Right after that was an exercise program for the elderly, where they showed how to do aerobics WITHOUT getting out of your chair. The leader was weirdly enthusiastic about this. All at ass-o-clock in the morning.
Andi recently posted..Epic Fail

Brandon S November 24, 2011 at 9:58 pm

Are you sure the nun wasn’t Dana Carvey in a SNL skit? I loved the Church Lady.
Brandon S recently posted..All That Glitters Isn’t Gold … It’s Pink!

Noa November 24, 2011 at 11:45 pm

I HAVE SEEN SAID NUN. The one I am familiar with is the eye-patched one. Same one?

Gena November 23, 2011 at 7:32 pm

Just read about this the other day: http://www.avclub.com/articles/jersey-shore-producer-wants-to-capture-complex-rel,65522/#comment-369665943

To quote: “VH1 has picked up Salsano’s Mama Drama, which according to the network’s Jeff Olde “speaks to a new cultural definition of age with women in their 40s and 50s no longer constrained by rules about how they need to dress or act.” And to that cultural definition, it says, “Ewww, gross,” following daughters whose mothers live vicariously through them as their “BFFs,” all in a desperate, Dina Lohan-like effort to cling to their youth.”

This premise is so soul-crushingly vile and depressing I can’t even joke about it. IT HAS DESTROYED MY ABILITY TO JOKE ABOUT THINGS.
Gena recently posted..Eat, drink and be wary

Noa November 24, 2011 at 11:47 pm

Wishing to emulate Dina Lohan means you have to make out with your meth-addled daughter in a club.

It’s crushed us all, friend.

Front Desk Ninja November 24, 2011 at 3:31 am

Any movie done for the Lifetime Channel.
OH OH OH I remember one!
It featured my favourite school friend, mister Zach Morris, with dark hair and was on the TBS channel (whatever it’s called now, I refuse to pay attention to) and it was about an atomic plant and deadly twisters.

The acting was horrible, the sets were horrible, and I have watched it about 292920 times.
I don’t even remember the name. It was cheesy, though. Atomic Twister? maybe?
eitherwhore, Happy Thanksgiving you American funnies!
Front Desk Ninja recently posted..Oh, The Times, They Are A’ Changin’…

Noa November 24, 2011 at 11:48 pm

Oh Zach Morris, you haven’t done anything okay since you left Bayside, and you are STILL so good looking. Why must you waste it so?

Brandon S November 26, 2011 at 1:00 am

But Noa… Zach’s sort of grown up self has been on USA in a pseudo law meets frat boy type of show. It’s no law and order but the characters are a little younger and as the network would say “accessible”. What that means is that the characters drink their Natty Light from red cups instead of Bacarrat crystal. I think it was called Basker and Ives or something like that.
Brandon S recently posted..All That Glitters Isn’t Gold … It’s Pink!

Lynne November 24, 2011 at 6:47 am

Two words:

Confetti, motherfucker.

Noa November 24, 2011 at 11:48 pm

YES MA’AM.

elizabeth- flourishinprogress December 1, 2011 at 5:25 pm

Your looks, Noa, your looks. They made me laugh the hardest.

You facial muscles are talented as fuck.
elizabeth- flourishinprogress recently posted..Monday Dare: This one may kill me. Nice knowing you.

Noa December 4, 2011 at 8:58 pm

I’m flattered in so many ways.

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