Funny Bitch Friday: Alicia, The Video God

09/16/2011 · 38 comments

in Funny Bitch Friday

Funny Bitches, meet Alicia.

Hi Alicia! The pills and booze are at the bar. Help yourself.

We met doing improv in Dallas, where we bonded over how fucking weird and socially awkward we both were, and I secretly stalked her from afar because damn, y’all, this bitch be funny. Alicia can go from playing a German who’s propositioning you with Kool-Aid to a Demon trying to wreck your wedding in 3 seconds. I bow down to her ability to play characters. Alicia just may be the funniest bitch I’ve ever met. And that’s saying something, because HOLY FUCK do I know some Funny Bitches.

Most of the time, I like to highlight people who are hilarious through writing. I’m nothing if I’m not an equal opportunity ho–Alicia makes videos that make me want to cry they’re so funny. Oh look, here’s one now!

Alicia’s going to start making videos with me, because she is awesome. I’m going to put them up here so you can see them and love them and WE’RE BRINGING YOU THE FUNNY THROUGH ALL KINDS OF MEDIA. Magic.

In the next couple of weeks, Alicia and I are going to be posting the videos; hopefully they’ll make you shit your pants you’re laughing so hard.

Bring fresh panties, and probably don’t watch these in front of your boss. He’ll judge you for that.

Trust me on that one.

Favorite Comment From The Last Post
From Kelly: “States should create the position of “Dangerballs Czar” to immediately decrease all levels of fuckery, asshattery, and twatwafflery. I nominate myself. You’re welcome, Tennessee.”


Alicia September 16, 2011 at 1:06 am

Dear Noa,
This is nicer than anything my friends have ever said to my face! I think I’m gonna go stand in front of my mirror and watch myself cry while playing Go The Distance by Michael Bolton. Then I’m going to spend two hours under the stars reflecting on how you are the funniest bitch I know. Then I’m going to eat an entire bag of puff cheetos while watching reruns of Golden Girls…..This happens every time I’m happy. It’s becoming a problem.

nadine September 16, 2011 at 6:06 am

i like you. i honest to goodness almost spit my coffee at my computer and had to put my sweatshirt up to my face to catch the dribble because laptops? they don’t come cheap.
nadine recently posted..Funny Shit that Brightened My Day

Paula @ thewilyweez September 16, 2011 at 1:34 pm

Alicia, if you substitute the puff cheetos for meth cupcakes I do the same thing!
Paula @ thewilyweez recently posted..I’ve Let You Down…You Can Punch Me In The Ovaries

Alicia September 16, 2011 at 10:24 pm

I was actually eating meth cupcakes, but I didn’t want to freak anyone out so I said puff cheetos. I was also drinking heroin Tang….I also wasn’t staring at stars. I was staring at car headlights. :( I don’t know what happened last night.

Noa September 17, 2011 at 12:41 am

@Alicia: THAT IS WHY WE’RE FRIENDS, GODDAMNIT. Fuck. Also, I am concerned that you’re losing control of your life.

@Nadine: It is my life goal to make people spit things at their computers. I am so glad Alicia can do the same.

@Paula: I bet Sara Lee doesn’t frost those bitches.

Alicia September 17, 2011 at 1:29 am

Haha I’m going to come to improv in a trash bag and crocs this week…you know you’ve gone down hill when you slip on the crocs. I’m so glad I can make you guys spit liquid beverages! :) With Noa’s kickass writing skills and my lack for self control, we will produce some sweet videos.

Eric September 16, 2011 at 1:10 am

I was kinda sitting here thinking it wasn’t all that funny . . . and then she whipped out Nicholson and I fell off the fucking couch.

Well played, Alicia. Well played.
Eric recently posted..Breakfast Karaoke: It could happen

Noa September 17, 2011 at 12:42 am

Nothing like mantitties on a Friday, huh?

Leslie September 16, 2011 at 5:28 am

Okay I have a funny bitch suggestion…. Also, I am now having to search YouTube myself more videos….
Leslie recently posted..Maniacally rubbing my kitchen counters

Noa September 17, 2011 at 12:42 am


nadine September 16, 2011 at 6:03 am

nadine recently posted..Funny Shit that Brightened My Day

Noa September 17, 2011 at 12:42 am


Dani September 16, 2011 at 11:40 am

*slow clap that turns into a standing O with loud, fast clapping, cat calls, and then morphs into the wave* HI.FUCKING.LARIOUS.
Dani recently posted..Further Adventures in Asburgers

Noa September 17, 2011 at 12:46 am

I love anything that starts with a slow clap.

Jen September 16, 2011 at 12:06 pm

NowI have that goddamn Michael Bolton song stuck in my head so I kinda want to smack the shit outta you.

But mostly I want to hang out, ‘cuz you is indeed a Funny Bitch! :)
Jen recently posted..Blame It On The Aaaaalllcooooohooool!

Noa September 17, 2011 at 12:46 am

One should never be sad over Michael Bolton. Bolton heals all wounds.

Stephanie September 16, 2011 at 12:28 pm

2 Deranged Chicks from Texas and 1 Youtube Channel FTW.

Stephanie recently posted..Laundry: The never-ending thankless task

Noa September 21, 2011 at 10:18 am

It’s gonna be fucking rad.

Johi September 16, 2011 at 1:42 pm

I serioiusly thought that I was going to vomit when I saw the GINORMOUS man-boobs.
*Hork hork hork*…. Nope, just a hairball.
I am super excited to see more from Alicia and…. her friend… I’m not good with names… Funny funny bitches.
Johi recently posted..Friday Fun

Noa September 17, 2011 at 12:47 am

It’s gonna be rad as shit. I will warn if there will be manboobs, though.

Britt September 17, 2011 at 10:57 am

I’m a big fan of man titties. They exude the warmth of a mother and the complexity of a father.*
Fuck all y’all. Jack Nicholson is the fuckin’ cat’s meow.

*My therapist says I need to work on my understanding of parenthood.
Britt recently posted..How to Build a Posse

Noa September 21, 2011 at 10:19 am

Man titties–confusing parental issues since 1852.

Vapid Vixen September 17, 2011 at 6:34 pm

Am I seriously the only one who’s noticed your hair gently blowing in the breeze during your a capella solo? I pictured Alecia off camera aiming the fan right at your face in an attempt to get you to stop using the finger point dance moves. To no avail.

Noa September 21, 2011 at 10:19 am

Sadly, that’s not me in the video with Alicia, but I do like the fan effect.

Vapid Vixen September 17, 2011 at 6:38 pm

I hate when people misspell my name so I would like to change my previous post to state Alicia. Not Alecia. *sigh* Spelleeng is hard.

Noa September 21, 2011 at 10:19 am

As someone with a frequently misspelled name, thank you.

Norway September 17, 2011 at 10:10 pm

Holy crap. The fact that you do improv possibly just made you my favouritest person in the whole wide world.

Noa September 21, 2011 at 10:20 am


Audra September 20, 2011 at 6:44 pm

Jack Nicholson — more like “Forever Yum!” Wait — wut?

He needs a Shatner corset, methinks.

I’d say Alicia is one of the funniest bitches I’ve ever met, too. It’s hard to say where Noa ranks on that list since she fucking skips class. But with more information I can update you.

Also, I, too, like the gently blowing hair.

Noa September 21, 2011 at 10:20 am

I would have been happy to go to class, but I think that maybe you didn’t want me to puke on you in the middle of a scene. But, your call–IS THAT YOUR THING?

Alicia September 21, 2011 at 1:52 pm

I agree with the Shatner corset. You guys are the funniest bitches I know. I like that we can call each other bitches without alcohol and the desire to beat the shit out of each other. That’s true friendship right there. Noa, opening a scene with projectile vomit would make for a great improv moment.

Noa September 22, 2011 at 9:00 pm

I’ll remember that for Sunday. Should be fun. You’ll probably be the culprit.

Audra September 21, 2011 at 4:29 pm

Alicia didn’t seem so sure about your reasoning for missing class. “Let’s just say she’s sick,” was her response. Thus, DOUBT that maybe Noa was off bangin’ dudes instead of chillin’ with the bitches. Chicks before dicks, yo.

And that is not My Thing. But you’re getting warmer.

Noa September 22, 2011 at 9:01 pm

It was an orgy. HOW DID YOU KNOW.

Lucile Lawson December 10, 2011 at 8:56 pm

Man titties–confusing parental issues since 1852. But with more information I can update you.
Lucile Lawson recently posted..Acne Tips

Noa December 19, 2011 at 12:54 am

Please do.

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