If you haven’t already been reading Becky’s writing, then come here so my crackwhore porch dweller can smack you in the face with a shovel. What the fuck is wrong with you? I go through the damn trouble of making a list of funny bitches, and you don’t read them? Fuck.
Anytime I want to laugh so hard I pop a rib out of place, this bitch is there for me. She’ll do anything, say anything, and unabashedly write about it. I admire that in so many ways.
Some of her more famous posts:
1. P-90X: Becky’s Mom Brings It Like an Animal.
2. Hide Juanita: And I’m Liesel!
3. Drunk Becky: A Retrospective
But these also make me laugh so hard I can’t breathe and sound like somebody’s forcing a walrus to eat a banged up whoopie-cushion.
1. The Sanest Person You Know: It’s fucked up that I laugh at this.
2. Any Old Thing Will Do: In which she names Anthropologie’s new fall line.
3. Evolution of a Catchphrase: Becky and Mr. T are best friends. Maybe not.
4. Connecting with Readers: Lesson learned.
5. Cameltoe, Clamato: I vow to use the phrase “choking your pussyflaps” at a moment which will embarrass my sister.
Go. Go now. Read her hilarity.
You know what’ll happen if you don’t. Porchy O’Cracksmack will come for you.