The Weirdness Haunts My Dreams

02/02/2011 · 19 comments

in Adrian, Love

Last night, at 3 AM, Adrian shut the TV off. At 5 AM, Adrian shoved me. Sombitch is a 4th degree Black-Belt, so I woke up in a panic, sure that either the house was on fire or sweet Jesus had returned to Earth.

Nope. He was sound asleep.

Me: “Hey, what the fuck?”

Adrian: (I will quote him syllable for syllable.) “Redo matanuren quir lalalalalalala.”

Me: “Um. What?’

Adrian: “Tru natu quenta flufla lalalalalalalala.”

At this point, I can’t quite get a grasp on what’s happening. He’s speaking true syllables, but it took me a while to figure out that he was speaking complete gibberish.

Me: (giggling) “What?”

Adrian: “REQUON TURO KO LALALALALALALA GOOD LUCK.”

Me: (in tears) “Good luck?’

Adrian: “goodluckgoodluckgoodluckgoodlucklalalalalalala.”

Me: “Want to go back to sleep now?”

Adrian: “Good luck.”

And he fell peacefully back to sleep. In this time, he never opened his eyes, never looked at me, he was dead to the world. It was only this morning when I realized why he had done this. Before going to sleep, Adrian had been watching Firefly, an amazing sci-fi/western where they use Chinese and English intermittently.

Y’all, Adrian was attempting to speak Chinese to me.

I should remind you, we only speak English and Hungarian.

This isn’t the first time this has happened. Whatever he does right before bed often carries over into his nighttime conversations with me.

He had once played a video game right before bed that was mostly about space, because though I love him, Adrian is a huge dork. At 5 AM, the Bitching Hour, I got up to use the restroom. When I returned, Adrian was sitting straight up in bed, facing me, but with eyes closed.

Adrian: “How was it?”

Me: “How was what?”

Adrian: “HOW WAS IT?”

Me: “The bathroom? Fine, I guess.”

Adrian: “NOA.”

Me: “Um, yes?”

Adrian: “HOW WAS THE FUCKING PLANETARY DISTRIBUTION?”

Me: “Of…of the bathroom?”

Adrian: “YOU DON’T GET ME.”

And then he slammed his face into the pillow and never, ever recalled doing this to me.

Any suggestions for interesting movies/video games/stories to prompt Adrian into more fun 5 AM encounters?

Also, it seems we have a battle for the top going on in the Fashion Fuckaround Challenge! You still have ’til Saturday to get your votes in!

chicsinger simone February 2, 2011 at 2:45 pm

OMG. You ARE funnier than my grandma! Wow. lalalalalalalalalala.

Noa February 2, 2011 at 3:47 pm

Lalalalalalathankyouthankyouthankyoulalalalalalala.

christine February 2, 2011 at 3:49 pm

i laughed so hard at this ESPECIALLY because i just started watching firefly last night! as far as i know, no sleep talking chinese for me

Noa February 2, 2011 at 4:15 pm

Firefly is amazing, I hope you enjoylalalallalalalalala

Coco February 2, 2011 at 6:23 pm

Hee hee hee…….. I feel your pain Noa. Hubby once gave me a black eye because he was dreaming he was back in Somalia when he was in the Army.

Oooo……. Have Adrian watch “Army of Darkness” & see if he thinks he’s got a chainsaw instead of a hand! Funnier if he makes the chainsaw noise while he’s trying to cut ya!!!!

Noa February 2, 2011 at 7:24 pm

I’m afraid I might lose a limb if we watch Army of Darkness. He’s not “almost out of gas.”

elizabeth- flourish in progress February 2, 2011 at 8:50 pm

i’m at a loss for words. adrian speaks better chinese than harv.

Noa February 2, 2011 at 11:31 pm

Adrian’s a secret genius.

Bloggertobenamedlater February 2, 2011 at 11:39 pm

That’s awesome. Aliens could be kind of fun. Also, Poltergeist. Things that jump out at you are excellent for middle of the night ramblings.

Noa February 3, 2011 at 12:14 pm

Poltergeist would be a good one. Last night he was watching the news-and at 5 am woke me up to ask, “is the government at the door?”

He’s a strange one.

hoodyhoo February 3, 2011 at 6:18 am

Adrian speaks Chinese in his sleep, I cook in my sleep… have him call me and tell me how to make moo shu.

Noa February 3, 2011 at 12:14 pm

You’d be a hell of a pair.

The Barreness February 7, 2011 at 10:12 am

Well…okay.

I usually go more for Spanish in bed, but, you kow, if the Chinese/English combo works for ya, fill your boots I say.

Ni Hao (which I think means hello, but can’t really be sure) (also, I should probbly say goodbye in Chinese here, what with it being the end of my comment and all, but I don’t know how to say goodbye in Chinese so you’re stuck with what *could* be hello but also could not) (stop criticising me),

– B x

Noa February 7, 2011 at 10:33 am

It’s funny that you put Ni Hao down, because when our 3 year old nieces found out he was attempting Chinese in his sleep, they have been teaching him the chinese they learn off of Ni Hao, Kai Lan. So far, he knows dinosaur, you can do it, and good job. All useful phrases.

Abi September 2, 2011 at 12:38 am

Oh my God, this made me laugh alot. Mostly because just last night I woke my boyfriend up from the couch to get him to head to bed. Instead of just taking the few steps to the bedroom he sits up and LOUDLY yelled the word shower at me repetitively, gave me the “Imma ’bout to cut a bitch” look, sighed heavily, licked the couch, rolled over and was once again dead to the world. I wish I could make this shit up. In the morning he swore he only asked me for a pillow. I call bullshit.

Noa October 3, 2011 at 6:32 pm

I love the licking the couch part. I want to do that sometime.

Red September 22, 2011 at 11:23 pm

You are a motherfucking inspiration. My god. I laughed at this so hard I think I hurt myself. Oh, my ribs…
Red recently posted..Week Off

Noa October 3, 2011 at 6:33 pm

Sorry ’bout the ribs, yo!

Leafy September 1, 2012 at 11:03 pm

I can’t believe that nobody’s mentioned STM!

http://sleeptalkinman.blogspot.com/

Go read that blog. It’s incredible.

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