You'd Think It'd Be A Theft Deterrent, But Wherever We Live, We Get Robbed.

01/27/2011 · 6 comments

in How Did My Life Come To This

Conversation with my Realtor yesterday:

Noa: So, Adrian and I want to lower the price for our house again.

Realtor: I think that’s a good idea. I’ll send over the paperwork.

Noa: Great.

Realtor: I wanted to let you know that since someone broke in to the house and stole the appliances, I’m having a hard time keeping any of the doors closed.

Noa: All the doors?

Realtor: Well, yes, but especially the back door. (that’s what she said.)

Noa: That’s because my house is haunted.

Realtor:………..What?

Noa: The house is haunted.

Realtor: Oh, well, uh, that sure does explain it.

Noa: I’m joking. The back door won’t stay closed because that’s where they broke in to steal my shit.

Realtor: Ah! I see. I’ll send someone to fix it.

Noa: The house is haunted, though. I was just joking about it opening doors. It never learned how. It just made phone calls and cried all night in the crawl space.

Realtor: Should I put that in the seller’s disclosure?

It’s no wonder we can’t sell the damn thing.

Also, you bitches have some serious competition in the Fashion Fuckaround Challenge. The entries have been coming in and HOLY SHIT they’re good.

There’s still a few days left to submit your pictures to ohnoagavin at gmail dot com and win a $50 Visa Gift Card if you’re chosen as the Fashiony-est of them all.

 

Kernut the Blond January 30, 2011 at 12:09 pm

LOL You sound like The Bloggess when she was selling her house! BTW – she buried a small statue of St Joseph and it seemed to work. Good luck!

admin January 30, 2011 at 4:08 pm

I just found out today that our fridge was in the center of the kitchen. I need more than a statue…

Bloggertobenamedlater January 31, 2011 at 7:18 am

You should put something in your marketing stuff for the MLS that says the neighborhood will “Steal your heart and your lawnmower”.

admin January 31, 2011 at 12:49 pm

It’s better than the one I saw last week. “Dreams for sale!”

Michael February 2, 2011 at 12:54 pm

Sorry to hear about the house old neighbor. I actually thought it had already sold. Now that I know I’ll keep a better eye on it. I promise we don’t have some totally bitchin new appliances around here though.

Noa February 2, 2011 at 1:43 pm

Thanks! I appreciate the help. I’m almost positive it was the creepy guy next door that stole them all.

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