1. Call my Grandma more: She never hears from me. That’s not right. She’s the inspiration for this.
2. Not stab anyone in Wal-Mart: You laugh. I do not. I have a hateful vendetta against the world’s most efficient level of Hell.
3. Be more adventurous: I’m trying this thing where instead of letting my OCD and social anxiety make my life boring as hell, and in turn, shitty for you to read about, I force myself out to do awesome things. BlogHer ’11, I’m on my way.
4. Make you laugh more and more: Because that’s what I’m about.
5. Grow The League of Funny Bitches: An extension of #4.
6. Learn some things off of trickswithhats.org: Because, why the fuck not?
7. Dance more: I have dances for everything. I have car dances, cold weather dances, too hot dances, I’m hungry dances, fuck off dances–and it’s contagious. When you meet someone while dancing, it creates a weird bond. I like that.
8. Learn to speak more Hungarian than I know right now: Which is all of, “Fuck your mother,” “Horse’s ass,” “I don’t speak this very well,” and “Your Grandmother.”
9. Take more pictures: Because adventures lack proof without pictures.
10. Pay it Forward: You bitches are awesome. You tell your friends about me, you nominate me for the Bloggies (I’m looking at you, Flourish in Progress), you put me on your blogrolls, and best of all, you READ MY SHIT AND COMMENT. I love you people. And thusly, marks the return of Funny Bitch Fridays, which was attempted once and I promptly failed to do it again. You all deserve your turn–so keep being funny, keep being awesome. It’s my turn to say, “This bitch is hilarious.”
What are your resolutions?