Conversations with a Search Engine

12/13/2010 · 6 comments

in How Did My Life Come To This

Based off of search terms which led to me.

“Oh, Noa?”

“Hey, what’s up? So glad you found me.”

“Street Luge.”

“Oh, um. Yeah, sorry, I don’t know much about it.”

“Street Luge.”

“I only wrote about that once, and, really, just said street luge one time in that post.”

“Street Luge.”

“I think you’re in the wrong place.”

“Street Luge.”

“Motherfucker. I wrote ONE SENTENCE about it ONE TIME. HOW THE FUCK–”

“Velociraptor Costume.”

“OH! Okay, yeah, I do have some suggestions for you. Let me get them out.”

“Velociraptors love cupcakes.”

“Haha, yeah, I suppose they might. If they were children-filled.”

“john wayne cuckoo clock before christmas”

“You might be seriously disappointed in my content on that particular item.”

“Go fuck yourself.”

“Hey. It’s a fucking John Wayne CUCKOO CLOCK. Or if you say it quickly, it’s John Wayne’s Cockoo Cluck. How is that not funny?”

“Man luge doubles.”

“What. The. Fuck. Sir.”

“She look tomy penis.”

“No, she certainly does not.”

“Trust no one.”

“Yeah, I’m beginning to see that’s a good choice with you.”

“Lesbians in Lingere.”

“How much lesbian? Oprah is not even kind of a lesbian.”

“Gay bikers in Lingere.”

“I don’t think I have any of those here.”

“Button Crafty motherfucker.”

“I suppose Gay Bikers might be button crafty.”

“Always wearing tinted glasses.”

“Gay bikers don’t wear them, I think. Just Drag queens.”

“Drag queen in panties?”

“I’m fresh out of non-hetero references.”

“Prepare your anus nerd.”

“I hardly find that appropriate conversation, sir.”

“Point blank vagina.”

“If I wasn’t okay with the butthole suggestion, what makes you think this was okay?”

“Street Luge Boards.”

“GO FUCK YOURSELF.”

elizabeth-flourish in progress December 13, 2010 at 6:08 pm

You are my inspiration. I string the same 20 words together over and over again. But you? You are CLEARLY A WORD ARTIST.

Anus+Nerd?

Point+Blank+Vagina?

I heard somewhere that the human brain only uses 2% of its potential. Your brain uses 3%…..at least.

Noa Gavin December 14, 2010 at 2:59 pm

I specifically put in Point Blank Vagina because I KNEW IT WAS YOU.

Kernut the Blond December 14, 2010 at 12:09 pm

“Button crafty motherfucker” was me. My bad, I was searching for an artistic boyfriend for Christmas.

Noa Gavin December 14, 2010 at 2:58 pm

To fuck your mother?

Elly Lou December 14, 2010 at 2:31 pm

*slow clap*

Brava, m’lady.

Noa Gavin December 14, 2010 at 2:58 pm

A-thank you, a-thank you.

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