Last night, while watching The Walking Dead.
Me: “If there were an outbreak of Zombie, I would drive down to pick up your parents, then down on to my sisters to pick up her and Damon, then up to Ma and Leo.”
Adrian: “That’d be a good crew.”
Me: “I mean, your parents are survivors. People who escape from communism know how to fucking do it. Grace can cook, and farm, and raise animals, Damon can hunt. Ma is a nurse, and Leo has more guns than West Point.”
Adrian: “All valid reasons.”
Me: “But that leaves us. We’re useless in the Apocalypse.”
Adrian: “Mmh.”
Me: “I can…um…I don’t know. I guess that Grace will be busy with the, you know, sustenance, so I can do laundry or something. Someone has to cook the food.”
Adrian: “See, you’re useful.”
Me: “And you’re the driver.”
Adrian: “Naturally. You’ve really thought this out.”
Me: “You have to be prepared. Know what you’ll grab and where you’ll go.”
Adrian: “Glad you have.”
Me: “But we’ll have to take my car…I’m the one with four wheel drive–”
Adrian: “While that’s a good idea, you have to remember that you’ll always need a backup. My car is fast for a reason. We’ll take our cell phones, because the satellites will still be active, and we both have car chargers. Your car is large enough and powerful enough to haul all of the people, and a trailer for the animals and all the gear. Damon and I will go ahead in my car and scout. We’ll call you if it’s clear. If it’s not, I know how to kill–I mean, I haven’t spent 20 years in martial arts for nothing–and Damon knows how to shoot. Your car is also tough enough to drive over terrain, but you’ll need me to clear the way or gather supplies quickly.”
Me: “…………………………………..Thought that out, have you?”
Adrian: “Always be prepared.”
I love you, Adrian. I wouldn’t go through the Zombie Apocalypse with anyone but you.
{ 14 comments… read them below or add one }
AND now I know who I am calling when the zombies come. I have guns and a fast car as well. And dogs…Killer Dogs.
When the Apocalypse comes, I’ll be the ho in the red Jeep flying a Jolly Roger, screaming AC/DC’s TNT. I won’t slow down for you–be ready to jump in the back as I whizz by.
HAHAHAHA That is true love!! Always planning to survive the Zombie Apocalypse!
I picked a good one-We’re fucking prepared.
wait…say wha?! why are you worrying about zombie attacks? that is so totally unrealistic. all you have to do is drink unicorn blood mixed with leprechaun whiskers to protect yourself.
Ah.
Enjoy being dead once the Apocalypse comes. Me and Jolly Roger will take west Texas by storm.
I have a master plan to assimilate. Those who join me now, will be able to bring whomever they want, and recommend enemies for brain farming.
I, of course, will be Queen of the Zombies. Nathan Fillion may be King, but I haven’t decided yet.
Count me in.
Honest to God, I thought I might be the only one in the world who had a plan in place for the pending Zombie Apocalypse. Nice to know I’m not alone. :)
When it comes, only those who are prepared will survive. I mean, it’s foolish not to plan.
The question is always about gasoline. How do you gas up without getting attacked?
Hmm. A flaw in the plan. DAMN YOU!
This is why it’s best to assimilate.
Really Noa? Being the genius you are, I figured you’d know better. Haven’t you read the Zombie Apocalypse Survival Guide by Max Brooks? My friends and I all own copies. It clearly states that you’re not supposed to drive during a zombie apocalypse, because the second you run out of gas you’re trapped. It’s like those lobster tanks at Red Lobster, and the zombies stare at you, trapped in your car, and decide which one they want, and then you get eaten.
http://www.amazon.com/Zombie-Survival-Guide-Complete-Protection/dp/1400049628
The part that confused me was that Barnes and Noble put it in the Humour section, when it is clearly serious. That book is NOT funny, especially at 3am.
Maybe it was a little bit my fault for reading it at 3am, but still.